Hi! I'm a fan of Uncyclopedia, who's writing this article. Welcome!
This special Pee Review covers over 450 funny (and not just stupid) articles (not counting subpages) of this wiki, from the Zork trilogy to the last page. But before I do that, though, I have an introduction to share with you...
Ok, enough of me. Now to get started with the articles! Click an article name to go to that article. First up's our main attraction, the Zork trilogy...
There is an alternate version of this article here.
Like I said before, this game uses a lot of random humor and Uncyclopediain-jokes. Grues and deaths are the most common, too... except what I don't know the lore of where most of the humor comes from. I've seen Douglas Adams's name in Zork, but not THAT much... Also, I have no idea where the "you've just gone through a dimensional portal" part of the maze came from.
I like the prose and formatting, too. Everybody knows you can't have a Zork game without the Zorkheadertemplate!
Images:
7
Normally Zork doesn't use that much images, but there are a few areas in it that do, like the hidden (?) Glitch City in File 3. AND MOST OF THEM ARE HOTLINKED AND ARE BROKEN. >:| Luckily, DeletedUser51be906d and I tried to fix a few of them.
Miscellaneous:
7
The quality of the game is good as well, though there are a few inconsistencies between areas...
Final Score:
38
Yeah, this's a good game. If this's your 1st time on UnGames and ESPECIALLY Uncyclopedia, I suggest you visit this article 1st. Try going east! >:)
The sequel to Zork, the humor improves a bit, thanks to the Zork2died banner not being that much common, replaced with a more basic "Start over" link or something similar... (Not that I don't like it, but there are mostly parts that unfairly lead to this same page.)
Concept:
10
Another great concept! A rad sequel that belongs in these categories that doesn't suck. Much like Paper Mario2.
Prose and formatting:
8
Almost great prose. Unlike the 1st one, this game follows a linear plot and uses the Zork2headertemplate. Fitting... Although, there are some areas where you have to type your next path into the URL above.
Even more random humour! For the 3rd and final adventure in the Great Underground Empire, it would take all the humor from Zork 1 up to 11... but, still, there's a repetition of parts that make you die unexpectedly and unfairly.
Concept:
8
This would be yet another great concept... if it weren't for the fact that Zork 3 takes place in an alternate dimension, and things have changed an awful lot. But I did like the Grue/G***/Bonzi Buddy lore behind the scenes!
The quality? Well, aside from all the red links, if you manage to die 5 times and type in all the passwords, you get to fight the Ur-Grue- only for him to revive in the Hall of Activus after 3 turns! This's an endless loop, after all, so all you have to choose at the beginning is "fly up" in order to win. Or, just wait for me to rewrite the whole thing. Nevertheless, at the end there's a teaser for Zork 4: Escape The Darkness!!, which I doubt would exist.
Final Score:
38
Well, it's pretty good, but it might need a rewrite... I think...
Well, the humor's good, given it's 78 variants of the same classic meme/fad compressed in a subpage from that article, All Your Base Are Belong To Us, though there's a few that stick out from the rest... My favorite is the Redundancy variant!
Concept:
10
Great concept! As I said above, it takes 78 different situations and makes an AYB out of them! Including Halloween and Christmas.
Prose and formatting:
10
A marvelous script-style article that for some reason decides to use the Verdana font for almost everything.
Images:
10
Yes, there were some images. They made me giggle... like CATS in baseball.
Out of all the concepts for the article about the "film," I like the plot's the most, starting with Tinky Winky farting.
Prose and formatting:
9
"Extra! Extra! This just in!" This article's prose has just been given a 9 for its almost-newsreel look! Not bad!
Images:
10
Some make-believe images about this make-believe movie were obviously photoshopped in for laughs.
Miscellaneous:
9
Yes, the crappy quality over the photoshopped images might as well count. Some stuff might not count, though...
Final Score:
48
Out of all the great video game movies that have recently been released, I still doubt this one will. But Uncyclopedia decides to make and keep this one anyway!
Is it "humor," or is it "humour?" Either way, it gets carried away with the definitions pretty clearly.
Concept:
10
The article's supposed to tell us readres (see what I did here?) about "S" vs. "Z," "Zed," who's said to be from Power Rangers, "R", "er" vs. "re," "K" vs. "que" (Ha ha; QueQueQue!), "ou" vs. "O," "oe", "og" vs. "ogue," "um" vs. "ium," "ce" vs. "se," "X" vs. "ct" (What if Mac OS CT was real?), and, of course, various definitions. Great idea.
Prose and formatting:
10
Man, I DO love the intentional typos here and there...
Images:
10
Only 1 image is used: the map of the whole world, but with my home country enlarged.
Miscellaneous:
10
Nothing bad about the quality. Again, the English-American spellings are intentional.
Final Score:
50
Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! That's 1 perfect article here in Uncyclopedia! But how good are the others? Read on and find out!
Somewhat-adequate humor, hence the topic of the article.
Concept:
7
I give it a 7 because it (sort of) reads just like a history report or something like that... with a slight hint of some humor and anachronisms hidden inside of it.
Prose and formatting:
10
Well, great job. You didn't mess it up. 3l
Images:
8
For the image at the top, it reminds me of the one from UnBooks:The Gruesome Book of Grues. I don't even know how they did the other images, though...
Miscellaneous:
10
Another good article of great quality... sigh...
Final Score:
41
In conclusion, it's 1 of those articles that's hard for you to brim through unless you have a TTS device to read it for you. Hmmm... Maybe I should learn how to fuck with people's heads sometime...
The funny part about that is that most of Aesop's fables are made up. :D
Concept:
10
Some people don't (or barely) know who Aesop is, probably like me, nor all of his fables, but this article attempts to explain it all... and then gets carried away!!!
Prose and formatting:
8
Classic and (almost) perfect Aesop prose with a snappy Uncyclopedia twist. The only things I don't like about the current revision are the footnotes. Also, they replaced the explained joke about the otherPersian shouting "PotatoesPotatoes" with a TV Tropes link in that revision!
Images:
10
My favorite image is the one with the greenXenomorph that's supposed to resemble a grape-pusher.
Miscellaneous:
7
The quality for this article has gone downhill! And yet... it still gets a 7.
Final Score:
45
Well, if you're a veteran Uncyclopedian and would like to read a past version of this page, I'd recommend reading revision #5806926.
...but I DO like the idea of giving a top 10 list of greatest things since sliced bread. WAY better than all of Uncyclopedia's Worst 100 lists.
Prose and formatting:
10
I love Top 10's. Enough said.
Images:
10
The images are great, but what's the license plate supposed to say?
Miscellaneous:
10
I guess this counts...
Final Score:
46
"Serious" humor about a top 10 list explaining the greatest weird and wonderful "inventions" of all time. I have an electric toothbrush; now all I need is a record player...
Humorous (or is it not so humorous?) examples on just how to get banned from the Internet. (I said "not so humorous" because it won't be funny once you or I actually get banned and see the same templates from the start.)
Concept:
10
The article's supposed to teach Uncyclopedia butt lickers what's it's like for them to get banned. I'm glad I'm not 1 of them...
Prose and formatting:
10
Another list, this one gets bonus points for (intentionally) putting 1 of the items on top of the article.
I don't see anything bad... Again, the 1st item was top posted on purpose.
Final Score:
46
Hmmm... Not bad for an informative article. But there's 1 question... Should users read that article 1st or another guide provided by the wiki? Probably the ubiquitous Uncyclopedia:How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid article...
Another nearly adequate article with nearly adequate humor. It may deliver twice than RTFM, though, what with a few funny jokes I might not understand...
Concept:
8
...Huh? I don't know if it's true or not, though, but the article's supposed to be based on some song by Raffi. If the Wikipedia template says otherwise...
Wow! There's a lot of crazy humor in this article! All this for a lot of weapons that don't exist, but should...
Concept:
10
In this article, all the Uncyclopedians decide to make up their own types of cool, nonexistent weapons, from firelegs to air strikes.
Prose and formatting:
10
Probably the best list in this wiki, I don't know...
Images:
9
Some images probably look too gross to be funny...
Miscellaneous:
10
For a long article, I can't even determine ITS quality.
Final Score:
49
Same score as last article; I don't think List of weapons that don't exist, but should/Firelegs would count, but I've read the subpage, and it sucked. I'm glad I only reviewed the main article. In fact, it was mentioned in Fark.com!
2 images were used! 1 of them showed proof that Qbert had a pottymouth, and another was a fake, copydown image of a newsletter from another website.
Miscellaneous:
7
"Captian Falcon is arrested due to destoyingthe the universe while boxing." The last parts (and years) don't even make any sense at all!
Final Score:
39
Well, I still don't like the idea of knowing the truth about the lore of most of your favorite video games. A power pellet being slang for crack?! Now that's twisted, man.
I used to laugh the hardest at this article ever since I 1st discovered it in 2008.
Concept:
10
There is no obvious "concept" in this article -- it's simply just nonsense!!!! In fact, it just might be the very 1st thing readers will likely click from the "Nonsense" template.
Ha ha, this's really making me feel very uncomfortable... Anyway, it's supposed to be about a veeeeeeeeeery small iPod that fits inside your body, right?
Prose and formatting:
9
The "Features" section looks like something straight from an advertisement.
Images:
8
Even the images don't make me feel comfortable! 1 shows some kind of bacteria enjoying his new IPod yocto, complete with earphones...
Miscellaneous:
10
Either way, it still looks like a good article.
Final Score:
43
Ugh... Sometimes I wonder if we had this "IPod yocto" in our bodies all along. Could this be the causes of all those earworms?
My favorite image's the one that represents the death of the 11-year-old (that's supposed to be you, by the way) by a Motobug pwningSonic the Hedgehog.
Miscellaneous:
10
The quality never changes.
Final Score:
47
It supposedly looks more boring than any Zork game on this beloved Uncyclopedia, but it's fun either way.
Well, there you have another great article, albeit as a parody of a children's book. It's said that only the Chosen One has the ability to see the rest of the chapters (i.e. check the discussion page). Also, should we even bother with next week's lesson?
Uses subliminal-style humor & "contemptible" puns hidden in some parts (which can even be confusing), such as:
X [-displaynumber] [-a acceleration] [-ac] [-audit level] [-auth file]
[{-}bc] [-br] [-bs] [-c | c volume] [-cc] [-co filename] [-core]
[-deferglyphs font [font [font ...]]] [-youarentreally readingall
[thiscrap]] ...
Concept:
10
According to the top of the page, theuser was getting annoyed at Windows so much that he (or was it she?) decided to boot something cool called "Uncyclux."
Prose and formatting:
10
It looks just like Zork, complete with the text parsers.
Images:
10
The only image shown here is the boot screen for Uncyclux.
Miscellaneous:
10
They painstakingly made it look nice and tidy, just like your basiccommand line.
Final Score:
50
To conclude, I've reviewed an article about an operating system I may or may not have used before. Sounds cool, though...
Near the end, the 2nd-to-last paragraph about GINSu (GINSu Isn't Necessarily Safe-u) writes like an advertisement, but the article itself's still funny.
Images:
10
All the images in this article (especially the box of "Freedom Fries"), they're making me hungry...
Miscellaneous:
10
Same as most of the other previous featured articles.
Final Score:
49
Not much to say, except... if I ever had the chance to download buy this product, I would "potatochop" all of my favorite pictures from Uncyclopedia by filtering them with McDonald's fries, in the "Cheese and Onion" document, using the "'FreedomFries' and Hamburger" plugin. No, wait, how about Chipxar?
Censorship isn't funny, but... see below. Besides, the "Monster" template used in the Symptoms section's 1st item (Monsterism) really brought in such a kicker! I don't know what Monsterism has to do with disfigurement, but I don't want to turn into the Anti-Grue...
Reads like a tragic tale about diseases... or something.
Images:
6
I feel less comfortable looking at these images...
Miscellaneous:
10
The quality is SO good in this article that it's 1 of those rare instances where it gets featured TWICE!!!
Final Score:
44
Well, I'm not going to suffer this disease. I'm not even going to show my face! Maybe I'll just say I'm REALLYStephen Sondheimbehind the scenes and that's that.
The top quote from Goofy I found funny; 1 of the external links at the bottom I did NOT, however. How can I have fun at Disneyland if there are incidents?
Concept:
10
It's true; Disneyland feels like a country after all.
Well, all looks good in this article... except for UNmarine777's section about the military. Looks like he doesn't know how to format right. Someone should either format or remake it while insulting that user.
Final Score:
47
In conclusion, it's safe to say that Disneyland has changed since this article has been featured via its 50th anniversary. For instance, there's a Star Wars-themed land now, called Galaxy's Edge! I'm sure people like EricIsOnFire would like it...
Either the greatest humor from this UnBook comes from the censoredrhyme bait-and-switch, or when "Horton the Whorehunter" starts screaming and going bat fuck insane for 1 hour.
Concept:
8
Great concept, but... why all the screaming near the end again?
There's more conspiracies where that came from, and they're in their own section of this article, no less! The section kind of reads like half UnNews article, half interview column... I guess...
You know, even the boring (?) pages deserve a 10 on "quality."
Final Score:
45
Well, to be honest, I don't think I'm into these classic movies that much. I just wonder if this "001" actually made it to Sean Connery's James Bond movies.
Wouldn't it be funny if you had a userpage like this? My favorite part's the bottom text where this guy behind the "userpage" suddenly sings his (or was it her?) own version of the Pokémon theme song and even tells me I'm screwed.
Concept:
10
A parody of those said-to-be-crappy pages from the old days of the Internet.
Just goes to show ya -- the article's about someone who knows how to play video games wisely and impossibly just because it's called "AAA."
Prose and formatting:
9
This article 1st reads like a typical wiki article, then it goes onto an interview-like section, and finally, the accompllishments. Unfortunately, I gave it a 9 because for the last section, where it mentions Portal, it trails on into some cryptic song, which I can't quite pinpoint yet as of 2025...
The scan of Samuel L. Johnson's Dictionary has a couple small tweaks to it to make it fit well with the article... Can you find them?
Miscellaneous:
9
What was the point of the "ſ" symbol?
Final Score:
47
Wanna know what the (original) list says? Get ready...
Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that the colonel and Rosemary are actually Metal Gear Arsenal's AI, this ring isn't a cudgel, you barbarian, Polly had the lens cap on the whole time, Jigsaw was the corpse, "To Serve Man" is a cookbook, Kristin Shepard shot J.R., Seinfeld and his friends are found guilty, the Bride's real name is Beatrix Kiddo, and her daughter is alive, Luke gets shot trying to escape, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!
I don't know if that's a non-sequitur, but there's this image that's a bit off topic where it shows what Google Earth would be like probably in another 10 years: gone too far. In other words, if you zoom in too much, you'll actually see people flipping the bird at you!
Miscellaneous:
10
This featured article's almost incomprehensible I can't determine if it's THAT great...
Final Score:
46
I'm still waiting for that update on Google Earth. Can't wait to see people going insane at me!
Sort of reads like a trailer, and then in the middle we see a list of all of the nicknames this Don LaFontaine has been given for the past years, plus the trailers of most of the movies we hear his voice in (with some names made up for fun :)), probably sporked from Wikipedia.
Images:
9
I just don't know what that picture with Bull from Night Court with his random muppet/puppet sidekick was about. Also, the obligatory YouTube embed of the "best fight scene ever" made me give it a 9... What if the video gets copyright struck? (Yes, embeds count as images too.)
Miscellaneous:
9
It almost looks theaterblack... The top part looks cut off.
Final Score:
48
In conclusion, this looks like another 1 of those movies that won't exist.
This's another 1 of those articles that relies on humour, not humor. Anyway, the punchline's the best part here: as soon as the drunk victim makes a note to buy flowers on his way home from work tomorrow, he wakes up and realizes he's due at the office in 3 hours!
Concept:
10
A simple concept: After a loooooooooong day at the pub, you go home. You want to go to bed, but you're hungry, and want to, well, cook while drunk.
Prose and formatting:
10
Faux cooking directions.
Images:
8
Delicious-looking images of a cake and omelet. I'm not sure about the cake, though...
The "Dilsexya" part of the article's my favorite. Since I obviously "connat raed" it, I might need a screen reader for this one...
Concept:
10
2 articles in 1 means 2 times the fun! Well, technically, they used to be separate, until they recently (as of 2024) became the same article; Dilsexya currently redirects to Dyslexia.
Prose and formatting:
8
Well, I don't think there's any interesting "prose" in the main article, but as for the alternate version...
Images:
7
"This article as it appears to a dyslexic?" All I can see is the same dyslexic article in that symbollic language, but, ok...
Again, this's a parody of Blue's Clues, starring Christopher Reeve as the host, Grue as himself, and a colorful cast of animate objects and living characters. I'm pretty sure you've heard of the original show and its usual formula by now and don't need me to remind you again, so instead, read the article, butt licker!
Prose and formatting:
10
Just read the infobox on the right; it's hilarious.
Images:
10
So a typical clue would be a dead body, you say? Hmmm...
Looks good. Except (intentionally) for "get you're text write befour pubblishing."
Final Score:
47
Turns out I recently learned that the "permanent exhibition of how websites were produced before the advent of computers" was actually the ARPANET. I gotta go back to Wikipedia...
So I go to visit my grandma, my Uncle Mort, and my pet Grue, who somehow has the name of... Lord Voldemort. Why Grandma is acting like this, I don't know...
Now if I only alter the ending where Grandma begins to hug me tighter so she actually kills me (complete with this), this article would be interesting.
All 4 images in the article look copyrighted or something, especially the one with Grimace, though if image captions count toward the score, then I give lots of love to Grimace's image...
Miscellaneous:
10
The only thing I can find wrong is that this article needs more humor...
Near the end, the "Going solo?" section has 4 different endings chosen at random, thanks to the "choose" and "option" tags.
Images:
8
The Blood Splatter image strikes again! Also, there's this silly image that sometimes shows up from 1 of the 4 endings...
Miscellaneous:
9
Almost looks perfect, again. To make it more quicker and easier to get the ending you want, instead of using the "Purge" function, I found out you have to type <choose uncached> instead of <choose>.
Yes, there are images in this game. Wanna know how many there are?
Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Maxim kills Rebecca, the Planet of the Apes was Earth all along, "Shell City" was a gift shop, Archimonde is killed at the last second by a Wisp rush, the Alliance accidentally created the Reavers, Saturos and Menardi aren't evil, R + L really does = J, Milton burns down the building because his stapler was taken away and his desk was moved to the basement, Fayed detonates a nuke, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!
This image currently doesn't even look like it belongs to the article. Make up your mind, TigerManCP!
Miscellaneous:
10
Other than that, the script looks good; this's the 1st one I'm doing here.
Final Score:
47
Would Viacom approve of this? I'm not sure, though they already (since 2019) made a live-action flick starring Dora and her family, called Dora and the Lost City of Gold. I haven't seen it yet, though I hear it's good...
The backstory mentioned below is funny. The list of mental illnesses included in the article could be, too, but I REALLY am NOT a kleptomaniac and I don't find OCD funny.
Concept:
10
The backstory involves some insaneguy trapped in an asylum doing nothing but telling us aaaaaaaaall about menthol illnessesmental illnesses... Then, at the end, he appears to escape, only to bang on thin air...
Prose and formatting:
10
It's just another one of those articles clearly written in the 1st/2nd person.
Warning: This article contains some darkhumor. I think I may be getting a bit of déjà vu here... However, it may not be AS harmful as removing your penis, though, for it seems to have a cheerful attitude at you.
Concept:
8
Another ok concept, though the consequences will ALSO freak me out...
Prose and formatting:
10
Being the 2nd Why? I did on this page, its POV sounds... interesting.
Well, ironically AND unfortunately, the only thing I COULD find funny is the section that shows us the abuse of the USERNAME template (though nobody cares about whenever <insert name here> WAS the asshole or not...). Also the fake Wikipedia template.
Hooboy; where do I begin? Well, 1st of all, the main problem is, I don't watch the show, so I barely know what's going on in this article. The only things funny are the "commercial segments" and the randomly chosen Moment of Zen near the end as of revision #6204329. You might see a cameo of a Muppet, or you might not.
I would've given this a 6, but the prose of this article sucked more than the Wikia version, which I actually read 1st. First 5 I've inputted in this page.
Images:
10
The picture of Jon Stewart looks interesting, for it's said to be the only picture that wasn't age locked on SarahMcCain's DeviantArt page.
Miscellaneous:
5
After lots and lots of perfect articles, I've finally stumbled upon an inadequate one. Yay.
Final Score:
37
In conclusion, I tried fixing most of this article's blunders so it wouldn't suck anymore, but... wait, what? The featured revision's better, you tell me? Now why didn't I think of that before?
Very funny! Though there was 1 part that threw me off, and that was the cryptic Matrixreference...
Concept:
10
A "normal person" under the pseudonym of James K. Tittywanker attempts to install Linux on his laptop only to deal with the laptop emitting relentless BEEPs from its internal speaker. Isn't that how you feel sometimes?
Prose and formatting:
10
I like the intentional typos! They instill flavor to the prose of this UnBook...
As for the quality, again, the typos are intentional.
Final Score:
49
This article, too, would be more interesting if I could only alter the ending involving "James K. Tittywanker" getting his ass whipped by his dad's belt, complete with this.
The worst part here's that it's said Uncyclopedia's too lazy to update the information in this article, and only put in this footnote to tease us about that.
Final Score:
30
Well, that's enough outdated low quality information for now. Onward to the next review!
Lots of broken Englishthere is in this article. It's also funny because of the fact that people actually have to write blogs on paper, and that's cool.
Concept:
10
Everything that happened before AND during the events of Zero Wing...
It's mostly a list full of puns; I'll bet a screen reader can read it better than me.
Images:
9
I (kind of) don't get the porpoise of that picture of these 2 syllables, nor do I get why it says that at the bottom... All I see is a cow and a porpoise jumping out of water. Either way, I give the picture a 9.
Miscellaneous:
10
For an article said to be about bad puns, it doesn't seem to be bad.
This article just sums everything about him (or it?) all up: cliche.
Concept:
10
They say no man is an island, but what if that was true for MichaelBay? Now we all know where all those explosions and not very good characters come from.
Prose and formatting:
10
We also get a typical schedule of what happens in this "Michael Bay."
Images:
10
EXPLOSIONS!!!
Miscellaneous:
10
I know the article's cliche, but it's no problem...
The OCCASIONAL bold text and SAND NIGGER expletives give this EMPHASIZING, ALL CAPS article QUITE a KILLER to my EARS... that is, if I was LISTENING to this ARTICLE.
Images:
10
So as a zombie, Billy Mays has his skin color inverted? Maybe he might sound horribly G-Major, too...
His yelling makes Billy Mays sound worse in comparison!
Images:
8
Yeesh... They just had to increase the pixel size of the page image!
Miscellaneous:
10
The mistakes when "I am a diarrhea slurping redneck bum humper" is printed on the screen 9 more times were intentional:
I am a diarrhea slurping redneck bum humper.
i am a diarrhea sulrping redneck bum humper.
I am a diarrhea slurping redncek bum humpr.
I am a diarrhea slurping redneck bum humper.
i am a diarrhea sulrping redneck bum humper.
I am a diarrhea slurping redncek bum humpr.
I am a diarrhea slurping redneck bum humper.
i am a diarrhea sulrping redneck bum humper.
I am a diarrhea slurping redncek bum humpr.
You are a diarrhea sulrping rdenkce mbu hmuepr.
Tee hee; even the images look abridged: except for the 1st one, the captions are all 1 to 3 words long while the pixel sizes of the images themselves are 100 pixels long.
Miscellaneous:
10
Despite looking "abridged," the quality of the songs of this "UnBook" looks good.
According to the script's backstory in the beginning of article, George Lucas made this remake after criticism from Star Wars: The Clone Wars. It didn't do well, but at least it didn't have Jar Jar Binks...
Prose and formatting:
10
This time, there ARE hidden gems within the link potholes.
Hooboy; time for another funny UnScripts article review. Well, the humor comes from stating the same recurring motifs from this Pixar: mismatched buddies, the fish out of water, the rescue attempt, and the occasional Ratzenburger cameo. However, why would the Cars movies (and, by extension, the Good Dinosaur) be described as "horrible?" Those movies were so good.
Concept:
10
This informational article actually has a plot to it: a hero and his sidekick (probably/respectively Buzz Lightyear and Woody? Or the other way around?) are hanging out until a human snatches the hero and "murders" him by telling him all about Pixar's recurring motifs and the films that have it, excluding the Cars movies and the Good Dinosaur. But before the human can talk about the short films and future projects, the hero scares him away and, with luck, returns home!
Prose and formatting:
10
This definitely feels like a script to a Pixar movie...
It's supposed to be a funny (and not just stupid) article based on 1 of Windows's Help and Support features, but the problem is, it's deprecated and no one even calls it that anymore.
Prose and formatting:
10
When you hover your mouse over the words "Amplus Congeries Excrēmentum Error #63726170," you get potholed links to "Big," "Slab," "Shit," "Error," and "Crap," in THAT order. >:)
Just so you know, "Gramps" (the narrator) uses a normal typeface, his grandson Ralphie's lines are in italics, and the lines of the daddy and the other fisherman are in bold. I don't know why, but the prose reminds me of the classic Berenstain Bears books...
The map of the Bay itself and its surrounding areas is the only image here that's interesting because it looks like Disneyland when you squint your eyes.
I think we need funnier and less gross images than this...
Miscellaneous:
10
High quality writing JUST TO A STORY ABOUT A MISESTIMATED LASAGNA. >:)
Final Score:
43
And finally, the answer to the question at the end of the article is...
Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Prince Arthas kills his father and, in the expansion pack, merges with the Lich King, Sirius Black dies, King Arthur and his knights are arrested for supposedly killing the historian, ending the movie before the final battle can start, Alex betrays everyone to get the Golden Sun, Luigi's Mansion is an illusion, Neo gets turned into a Smith shortly after causing a reaction that causes all the Smiths to die, thus, he dies, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!
Are all 3 images real? Either way, they make me not want to eat at McDonald's...
Miscellaneous:
9
Too many external Wikipedia links (and some YouTube links) overcrowding the Uncyclopedia links. Nevertheless, that's still the beauty of this page, I guess.
The name of the article sounds like good, humorous "clickbait"-- it involves a Grue as well. In fact, the Grue is giant. Wow, it's been a while since I've last mentioned Grues in this Pee Review so far...
Concept:
10
The story may sound interesting, but it goes like this: After work on a Friday, I begin to go home when I see a giant Grue heading toward me. Nowhere to go or hide (not even Starbucks), the Grue catches me (and destroys my only hope of survival, too) and
It appears that the last blow was too much for you. I'm afraid that you are dead.
As you take your last breath, you feel relieved of your burdens. The feeling passes as you find yourself before the gates of Hell, where the spirits jeer at you and deny you entry. Your senses are disturbed. The objects in the dungeon appear indistinct, bleached of color, even unreal.
> examine me
You appear to be made of a translucent floating white substance. There seems to be a golden halo hovering above your head.
The narrative's good. It looks like Lemony Snicket, though it's starting to look more like an UnNews article, because I see the "5:07 PM, Friday--" at the beginning.
Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Gordon Freeman accepts the G-Man's offer, the Planet of the Apes was Earth all along, Prince Arthas kills his father and, in the expansion pack, merges with the Lich King, the Alliance accidentally created the Reavers, The fifth element is love, Buffy dies twice, Jesus comes back to life after three days, Midna is the Twilight Princess, Ocelot works for the Patriots, Milton burns down the building because his stapler was taken away and his desk was moved to the basement, Springtime for Hitler is a huge success, Aeneas leaves Dido so she kills herself, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!
The title says it all. No, really. Does it say "Hello there! I'm a kite, and I will improve your day!"?
Prose and formatting:
10
Well, if link potholes count as this, there's a lot of funny moments, including "Fun" linking to "Torture."
Images:
10
The part where my toddler, kite and I arrive at the park and set off to find a spot where there's wind has 4 images with captions, each representing forests. The 1st one's a normal forest, the 2nd one looks dark, the 3rd one feels kind of creepy, and the 4th one-- it's perfect!
First off, this article's darkhumor's making me feel a LOT uncomfortable. Not only because I've never been on a ship that sunk before, but because of the idea and terror of scrambling to survive a sinking boat.
Concept:
7
If everyone else tries to use the same steps listed in this article at the same time, they're going to be in a LOT of BIG trouble.
Prose and formatting:
10
Um, I don't think the prose matters in this disaster-type article.
Images:
9
The "banana in your pocket" joke from the caption of the person in a swimsuit is getting old.
Miscellaneous:
10
The quality matters, though.
Final Score:
42
I wonder which one's worse... this or the Hindenburg? Actually, a better question is... Why'd they both sink? They were both so popular last century, and that included their names.
It's fun to keep dialing the wrong number and then have an ANGRY GOD come down to Earth to get pre-Medieval on my ass and send me to Hell for all eternity as punishment.
The only thing that needs improving on is the fires of Hell that appear on black when I get banished from dialing the wrong number enough times. Like the Microsoft Knowledge Base page itself, it still looks like it collapsed to the bottom like the scenery on a stage play.
Final Score:
47
There's still 1 thing about this very article that bothers me right about now... What was supposed to happen -12 years, 7 months, 29 days and 16 hours from now again?
A Blockbuster employee who goes under the name of Dave Stimson guides us through a tour of his store in San Pablo, California. Obviously, it has to be told in 1st person.
Each of the 5 interviewed butt lickers talks about categories in his or her own point of view and typeface: the man in blood-sp(l)attered coveralls (?) who's polite talks like this, the guy with an oversizedm(o)ustache who may or may not be a kid talks like this, the sleep-deprived midget who's totally obsessed with categories and later gets attracted to a nearby fire talks like this, the sexyoverdressedelf who describes categories in a way as if she belongs in The Sound of Music using this typeface, and, of course, Milton, that squirrelly-looking fellow, talks like he's high on caffeine in this typeface.
The poster for the film with the long title also makes me giggle. Aside from showing Peter Sellers's name 3 times, it shows the film's original completely loooooooooong title which I'm not transcribing here.
Miscellaneous:
10
Along from the title, it manages to be a good article.
Final Score:
47
I wonder what I can add to the title of the film to make it more interesting to read and laugh at?
As uncomfortably outdated as it might seem, this informational article seems so funny I don't know where to start. Probably Mr. T's "Tortuguero" translation?
Concept:
10
In this article, Uncyclopedia give its own crazy theories of how it would've been like if the world ended on December 21, 2012, including doomsday scenarios, primary reasons for this to occur, why it HAS to be December 21, 2012, indications that the world's ending, disseminations about it, and finally, their own survival guide.
I wonder how often I encounter these kinds of articles? Despite this article getting featured on that year, 2011 must be a great one for high-quality articles like this.
Final Score:
48
It's true. I will NEVER trust conspiracy theorists, EVER! Also, I don't know when 124/19/11 is going to happen. You probably made that up.
Either it's another history lesson-type article, or possibly some kind of leaked document, just like that employee manual!
Images:
10
Well, if you can count the caption on the bottom of the page image, it's funny because it repeats Pop Goes the Weasel 5 times and then gives up the 6th time when I figure it out...
Miscellaneous:
10
Nothing I can find wrong here; this article already has some humor, too.
Final Score:
43
...and then they want me to check out the article about the "rapist van." I already did that. The article says the van itself is similar to an ice cream truck, but it serves a different purpose... like freecandy.
greatest
of all visual puns, there's this page. My favorite is Stalin on the WORDS "Visual puns" on the quote at the top of the page!
Concept:
10
This article must
bee
an excuse to spout out visual puns all day and all night.
Prose and formatting:
10
This article's also the
maine
reason why the "PopupImage" template exists on Uncyclopedia. Currently, at time of writing, there are a total of 187 pages that use this.
Images:
10
There's a lot of interesting images here! I can't even
Count
how many there are!
Miscellaneous:
8
The only
things
that are wrong with this article are the "examples." They were supposed to show the words "Visual puns" in 5 different fonts, but only Rockwell was used while the others got downgraded to Times New Roman... (Probably because all the fonts were from Wikia before the spoon's closure?) Also the title's now broken, thanks to recent changes to the "PopupImage" template...
Final Score:
48
Well, no matter what, this page looks
sew
fun to stare at. I just wonder why you used an aqua with Darth Tater in place of Mr. Potato Head at the end, though.
Some of the urls look like they have some subliminal-style humor hidden deep within them. I don't think I understand any of these.
Concept:
6
It just looks like your typical Hotmail simulator. This's boring.
Prose and formatting:
10
The only subpage here is used as this page's template that shows each of the (unread) messages.
Images:
10
Not counting the checkbox and star icons, this article has no images. I probably haven't seen 1 of those in a while since Zork 2.
Miscellaneous:
8
I'm not sure about the score... The top message where 1 of the admins bans me says it just got posted on March 20, while all the messages before that were posted from May to June, in that order. Unless that was the start of a new year...
Final Score:
40
I think this inbox needs a modern rewrite, with more message and even randomads.
There's 2 articles in 1, which, again, means 2 times the fun! The default version is meant for us men here who want girls while the alternate version's often referred to as the gay or female version.
It gets funny when you click on the page title and see what looks like some IP vandalized the main page. However, it DOESN'T get funny when you find out the red links went away on 5/8/24; Emicraft says the actual main page doesn't have these kinds of links anymore.
Since this's the only featured UnTune I'm doing on this page, I'd say it looks beautiful. Even RAHB did a good job singing the audio, despite the fact he said it was "incredibly fucking difficult to make!"
Aside from the obvious, this walkthrough looks like it covers all 256 levels (complete with parts when to grab the fruit), only to stop at 8 because it appears the author of this article always loses there.
Prose and formatting:
10
It's nonsense!!!! It mostly repeats the words "right," "up," "left," and "down," with NO SET PATTERN and the aforementioned parts above thrown in.
Images:
10
The page image is just a simple compass figure of Pac-Man which was also used in this page for some reason.
Miscellaneous:
9
I heard a little malfunction when I listened to this page via TTS... In 1 instance in level 5, "down" was misspelled as "dow." As if the quality seemed to go dow...
Final Score:
49
I probably always lose in the levels after the 3rd intermission...
Because Uncyclopedia told him to do it, Frikkie van der Merwe Botha the South African farmer teaches us young farmer how to milk a cow the old fashioned way... until he has to cut it short for Gordon Martin Devonshire and his all-new 400,000 lb. (?!) Dairymaster 3000 automatic milking machine.
Prose and formatting:
7
There's too many footnotes in this HowTo article translating most things that Frikkie says. There's 29, and that's WAY MORE than any article I've ever read on Uncyclopedia!
Waking up, eating breakfast, driving "Da Ca'," writing a report sheet, writing lunch, walking back to the office, getting kidnapped, and going home for bed... My goodness; this sounds too mundane for my life.
Prose and formatting:
7
It's nonsense!!!! No wait; it's not. It's just 8 pairs of 2 sentences that repeat over and over again. I ain't gonna count how many times it happens; see for yourself!
Images:
6
7. Repetitive. Images. And they all nearly have the same sentence in the caption. Wanna template? Come have a look!
Well, the tediousness might as well be inside me forever, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...
...I barely get the concept (see below), but it still feels funny nonetheless.
Concept:
10
Various Uncyclopedians disguise themselves as God and make a userpage just for him.
Prose and formatting:
10
Yeah; this looks like something that'd be written in the Bible. ...Well, kind of. There's anachronismsabound.
Images:
7
Being a (fake) userpage-type article, there's no interesting images here... except, perhaps, for the light shining down when it says "Hi, I'm God. Have a Look Around." at the beginning.
It's just a review about the pros and cons of milk. 1 highlight's its typical usages, with some parts I don't like. Seriously, toning and bathing... with MILK?! That's not how it's intended to work!
The "math" tag's used here, because... well, you know.
Images:
10
A picture of what 0.999... doesn't look like is shown, but the pic's filename suggests the uploader thought of something else when he uploaded it... Also the page title looks hilariously recursive to be an image.
Why would you want to make a self-referential article about a social media app and parody it by stating its users tell their "friends" everything? I was going to give this a 5, but I removed a point because DWIII REALLY got carried away with emulating the app. You'll have to see the page to believe it...
Concept:
6
See above.
Prose and formatting:
6
The order in which the tweets are sorted by date is a bit misaligned. Starting from the newest ones at first, it goes down to chronological order...
Images:
7
Even the gifs aren't interesting to me.
Miscellaneous:
7
Despite its flaws, the article's perfect writing at least gives it a 7. It became the main page on the day it was featured, too.
Final Score:
30
Well, the good news is that this isn't the ONLY page on Uncyclopedia that looks like Twitter! A few Uncyclopedians on this wiki have made 10 special "UnTweets" pages using the same templates that this page uses.
There were some parts I found funny, while the rest I did not... (See below!)
Concept:
6
I don't like the idea of deconstructing a world-famous corporation...
Prose and formatting:
7
Even though there are some parts that are false in my opinion, like DisneyChannel being a poor man'sNickelodeon, there ARE some parts that are true, like Disney's dark age lasting from 1972–1983.
Images:
10
The page image sums it all up.
Miscellaneous:
10
I also don't see many errors here.
Final Score:
40
Lastly, despite having its content... er... "huffed" and replaced with the revision we see today, revision #3528705's my favorite because of the Sequels section. Don't know how to find it? Just click the History tab on the top of the page! I dare ya!
This kind of dark (and gross) humor's making me feel uncomfortable again.
Concept:
8
This brilliant Why? article feels more like a murdermystery story about a harmless little cat, named Mr. Snickermuffins. However, when the truth's unleashed, the narrator starts to tell some pretty little lies...
The Blood Splatter image strikes again... again! Also what's with the non-sequitur image of Puss in Boots... pasted on "RedTube" as a video? It was funny, but not neccessary...