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Portal:Portals

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Portal Portal
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A Portal is an introductory page for a given topic. It features selected articles, pictures, news and other content relevant to a topic, providing a general overview of content readers and editors might otherwise not find just randomly smashing the "Random article" button.

Portals are the best way to start exploring Uncyclopedia. Or, they would be, if it wasn't for the fact that most people don't really care about them, so they aren't really edited that much. But we can always pretend that they're active, for the sake of maintaining a minimum of credibility as an encyclopaedic wiki.

The following content is randomly taken from any of the portal blurbs used in each topic page.

Today's Random Article
A die hard capitalist out for a walk.

Capitalism, more widely known as crapitalism, derives its roots from the Latin words capital ("head") and ism ("gooey, cheese-like substance"). It was created by a group of men calling themselves the "justification league". Capitalism has been misunderstood by the left and right of the political spectrum: Capitalism's ultimate purpose is to allow those born into luxury to justify to themselves that they deserve it, and to give those not born into luxury a life purpose to dismiss those creating wealth as "oppressors". It Can Also Mean The Study and Worship Of CAPITAL LETTERS.

Capitalism is a system of idiot economics that entails the rights of the elite to control the means of production and enslave the workers, with limited state control and judicially preserved property "rights". This system rewards those who create what the market is demanding, even if the market is demanding more videos of Tara Reid's deformed nipple slip or microwavable cheese products. You have to be a douchebag and a sellout willing to step on the meek to get anywhere. (See more...)

Written by Nyuknyuknyuknyuk
Today's Random Biography
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Attila the Hun (?410-453) (Ukrainian: Гатило, Hatylo), a short killer with a short and easily remembered name, has retained his notoriety as one of the bloodiest mass murderers in history. He made men shit in their togas, bar the doors to churches and look up to heaven for help. To the historians of that era he was Satan's Little Helper, evil in a sheepskin coat, man who sharpened his teeth into points and enjoyed his fearsome reputation that people paid him wagons loads of booty not to kill them.

So what was Attila the Hun really like? Is he just a misunderstood leader of a displaced mass of people, unjustly labelled 'barbarian' and 'hideous' by the writers and chroniclers of the time?? Is it time for a reappraisal and 'Hug a Hun' instead??? Now we can unpeel the bloody legends surrounding Attila. Step in front of the mirror Mr Hun and have a good look at yourself. (Gok Wan..are you reading this?)

In Hungary, Attila is a national hero. He was the gut slasher of a corrupt Roman Empire that needed a thorough wash through to create the modern Europe. An anti-elitist warrior who broke the Dominate of Rome. Was therefore Attila a philanthropist, a vicious one? (See more...)

Today's Random Picture
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Your chances of getting laid increase tenfold if you wear this shirt.
Image by Electrified mocha chinchilla
Did You Know?
Do It Yourself
Portal page directory

Uncyclopedia:Portals · Category:Uncyclopedia Portals

All Portal topics
Portal blurbs
Portal templates
Portal stylesheets
Portal source code examples

Here is the source code for the Platonic ideal of a portal page. For creating new portal pages, change portal-platonic to the name of your new portal topic, like portal-crabs. 

{{#css:Uncyclopedia:Portals/styles.css}}{{PortalNav}}
<div class="portal-container portal-platonic">
<!-- INTRO -->
<div class="portal-row portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Platonic Portal}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Intro}}</div>
</div>
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS -->
<div class="portal-row portal-highlights">
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS COLUMN 1 -->
<div class="portal-highlights-column">
<div class="portal-panel portal-blurb">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Featured Article|Selected Articles}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Selected Articles}}</div>
</div>
</div>
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS COLUMN 2 -->
<div class="portal-highlights-column">
<div class="portal-panel portal-blurb">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Featured Image|Selected Pictures}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Selected Pictures}}</div>
</div>
<div class="portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Did You Know?|Did You Know}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{PortalDYK|Portal:Platonic/Did You Know|6}}</div> <!-- Make sure to change Portal:Platonic to correct topic name -->
</div>
</div>
</div>
<!-- BOTTOM ROWS -->
<div class="portal-row portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">More Portals</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{Topics}}</div>
</div>
</div>
[[Category:Uncyclopedia Portals]]

Here is the example code for an "article blurb" subpage, used in Portal article blurbs, Portal biographical blurbs and so on. 

<noinclude><gallery>
File:Article1.jpg|[[Article1]]
File:Article2.jpg|[[Article2]]
</gallery></noinclude>
<includeonly><choose>
<option>{{Selected article
|article = Article1
|image = Article1.jpg
|author =
|summary =
}}</option>
<option>{{Selected article
|article = Article2
|image = Article2.jpg
|author =
|summary =
}}</option>
</choose></includeonly><noinclude>
[[Category:Portal article blurbs]] <!-- Other category names: [[Category:Portal biographical blurbs]], [[Category:Portal featurette blurbs]], [[Category:Portal news blurbs]] -->
</noinclude>

Here is the example code for a "picture blurb" subpage, used in Portal picture blurbs. 

<noinclude><gallery>
File:Picture1.png
File:Picture2.png
</gallery></noinclude>
<includeonly><choose>
<option>{{Selected picture
|image = Picture1.png
|credit = 
|caption = 
}}</option>
<option>{{Selected picture
|image = Picture2.png
|credit = 
|caption = 
}}</option>
</choose></includeonly><noinclude>
[[Category:Portal picture blurbs]]
</noinclude>

Here is the example code for a "DYK page", used in Portal DYK blurbs. Note that rather than transcluding the subpage directly, portal pages use {{PortalDYK}} to extract bulleted list items from a specified subpage. 

<!-- 
DYK entries should look like this:

*... that blah blah blah blah blah?

NOTE: Templates will show up as raw text instead of the actual template. That means no {{SP}} or {{noun}} or anything other than standard wikitext. Sorry!
  -->
<noinclude><h2>Full DYK list</h2></noinclude>
*... that [[example]] one?
*... that example ''two''?
*... that example '''''three'''''?
<noinclude>[[Category:Portal DYK blurbs]]</noinclude>
More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.
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