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Portal:Portals

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Portal Portal
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A Portal is an introductory page for a given topic. It features selected articles, pictures, news and other content relevant to a topic, providing a general overview of content readers and editors might otherwise not find just randomly smashing the "Random article" button.

Portals are the best way to start exploring Uncyclopedia. Or, they would be, if it wasn't for the fact that most people don't really care about them, so they aren't really edited that much. But we can always pretend that they're active, for the sake of maintaining a minimum of credibility as an encyclopaedic wiki.

The following content is randomly taken from any of the portal blurbs used in each topic page.

Today's Random Article
The Market speaks to those who listen...

The Hillyard & Brickman Corporation is a dynamic young company founded in 2002 with one central goal for the 20th century: Excellence through Synergy, and Capital through Innovation™. Leading the field in cutting-edge market endeavors that enhance consumerism and inversely decrease domestic quality of life, mankind is already benefiting greatly from the ingenuity and completely ethical practices of the company that employees affectionately refer to as "The Company".

Several prominent, prestigious and highly televised media outlets have even suggested that Hillyard & Brickman is in fact one of the world's most global leaders, internationally championing production of net happiness for all consumers great and small, and greatly streamlining the subsequent distribution of said product to all ports of call. In simple terms, Hillyard & Brickman is a company that works for you. How could that possibly be evil? (See more...)

Today's Random Biography
American Empire Amerigo wanted to be a chef.gif

Amerigo Vespucci (March 9, 1454 – February 22, 1512) was an Italian cartographer. Born in Florence, he quickly established a fondness for two things: drawing maps and naming things after himself. These twin obsessions made him something of a social outcast in his own time; however, he has since attracted a certain degree of renown. Vespucci once held the distinction of being the only historical figure to become immensely famous for doing absolutely nothing noteworthy; however, this accomplishment was eventually replicated by George Washington Carver and, later, by Kim Kardashian.

Vespucci was born to wealthy merchant Giovanni Vespucci and his wife, whose name history has forgotten because women are not important. A popular tale holds that Vespucci's first act on earth was to point to himself and exclaim "Amerigo Vespucci", thereby naming himself. However, this tale is likely apocryphal, because babies cannot speak. In his childhood, Vespucci quickly established a reputation for being something of a dick. This was largely a consequence of his habit of renaming all his classmates "Amerigo Vespucci". (See more...)

Today's Random Picture
Actor-silly-eyes.gif
An actor learning their lines.
Image by Mister Otter
Did You Know?
Do It Yourself
Portal page directory

Uncyclopedia:Portals · Category:Uncyclopedia Portals

All Portal topics
Portal blurbs
Portal templates
Portal stylesheets
Portal source code examples

Here is the source code for the Platonic ideal of a portal page. For creating new portal pages, change portal-platonic to the name of your new portal topic, like portal-crabs. 

{{#css:Uncyclopedia:Portals/styles.css}}{{PortalNav}}
<div class="portal-container portal-platonic">
<!-- INTRO -->
<div class="portal-row portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Platonic Portal}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Intro}}</div>
</div>
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS -->
<div class="portal-row portal-highlights">
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS COLUMN 1 -->
<div class="portal-highlights-column">
<div class="portal-panel portal-blurb">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Featured Article|Selected Articles}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Selected Articles}}</div>
</div>
</div>
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS COLUMN 2 -->
<div class="portal-highlights-column">
<div class="portal-panel portal-blurb">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Featured Image|Selected Pictures}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Selected Pictures}}</div>
</div>
<div class="portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Did You Know?|Did You Know}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{PortalDYK|Portal:Platonic/Did You Know|6}}</div> <!-- Make sure to change Portal:Platonic to correct topic name -->
</div>
</div>
</div>
<!-- BOTTOM ROWS -->
<div class="portal-row portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">More Portals</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{Topics}}</div>
</div>
</div>
[[Category:Uncyclopedia Portals]]

Here is the example code for an "article blurb" subpage, used in Portal article blurbs, Portal biographical blurbs and so on. 

<noinclude><gallery>
File:Article1.jpg|[[Article1]]
File:Article2.jpg|[[Article2]]
</gallery></noinclude>
<includeonly><choose>
<option>{{Selected article
|article = Article1
|image = Article1.jpg
|author =
|summary =
}}</option>
<option>{{Selected article
|article = Article2
|image = Article2.jpg
|author =
|summary =
}}</option>
</choose></includeonly><noinclude>
[[Category:Portal article blurbs]] <!-- Other category names: [[Category:Portal biographical blurbs]], [[Category:Portal featurette blurbs]], [[Category:Portal news blurbs]] -->
</noinclude>

Here is the example code for a "picture blurb" subpage, used in Portal picture blurbs. 

<noinclude><gallery>
File:Picture1.png
File:Picture2.png
</gallery></noinclude>
<includeonly><choose>
<option>{{Selected picture
|image = Picture1.png
|credit = 
|caption = 
}}</option>
<option>{{Selected picture
|image = Picture2.png
|credit = 
|caption = 
}}</option>
</choose></includeonly><noinclude>
[[Category:Portal picture blurbs]]
</noinclude>

Here is the example code for a "DYK page", used in Portal DYK blurbs. Note that rather than transcluding the subpage directly, portal pages use {{PortalDYK}} to extract bulleted list items from a specified subpage. 

<!-- 
DYK entries should look like this:

*... that blah blah blah blah blah?

NOTE: Templates will show up as raw text instead of the actual template. That means no {{SP}} or {{noun}} or anything other than standard wikitext. Sorry!
  -->
<noinclude><h2>Full DYK list</h2></noinclude>
*... that [[example]] one?
*... that example ''two''?
*... that example '''''three'''''?
<noinclude>[[Category:Portal DYK blurbs]]</noinclude>
More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.
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