That Grey Thing on the Back of Your Screen
Ever since I've been on this site, I've been interested in only one thing: that grey thing on the back of my screen. I just can't get my eyes off of it.
And today, I'm going to tell you everything about it, because it has pissed me off for the last time.
First off, what the shitfuck is that thing?[edit | edit source]
That, my friends, is a book. Yes, that's right, it was a fucking book all along. Now, let's be fair here, you had me for a while there, grey book background-thingy. In the few months that I've been here, I've guessed an endless amount of times what you where. In fact, why don't I make a list of things that I guessed, huh? In that way, you can see my desperation, as it grows on and on, like a freight train that I have to cling onto just to survive. Of course, you could go slower, but did you?
NO!
YOU DIDN'T!
Things I'd guessed to be that grey stuff[edit | edit source]
- The Sun
- An Eclipse
- Goatse or whatever his fucking name is
- The sheer, merciless void that sucks away all my securities of my life as I try to answer this question
- A Brain
Secondly, why the anti-climax?[edit | edit source]
Why the fuck isn't that stuff something amazing? Something that completely blows my mind and gives me new energy to last a lifetime. Why can't it be something that gives you hope in the darkest hours? Why isn't it something I can hold onto when the world has goat-shitted me once again in the mouth?
No, instead it's some sort of sick joke that's completely on you. The biggest "Fuck-you" an intellectual, humble man like myself can imagine. It's a condom that's full of horseshit strapped over your head. It's some sort of syringe full of rhino puke, ready to be shot into your fucking bloodstream, with the only goal to receive the most painful death possible.
Goddamnit, is this shit the most godawful piece of turdpoop I've ever seen. It's like being offered anal sex by the hottest chick ever and right in the moment you stick your cock in her ass, you realize that she's a motherfucking beartrap that you can never get out off.
FUCK!!
And what is that gray shit on the back of your screen? Well, here it is:
Behold, the biggest mouthfuck of shit in the history of the universe (that means ever, you dumbfuck)[edit | edit source]
You see? You fucking see?! I told you so.
Conclusion[edit | edit source]
My final conclusion is a subjective one: to all the people who control this site, change that gray thing. It sucks.
No wait, it does more than that. It sucks fuckpiss on a stick. It blows my balls with a toaster. It takes me up the ass with a hair dryer. I'd rather jump in front of a train than ever living with the shame that it, out of all the fantastic things in the universe, was some kind of lame book, opened to laugh me in the face and shitting me in the mouth at the same time.
Oh, and one more thing:
If you, like me, hate that shitty, fucking piece of fartfuck of a book on the background, you SHOULD show your anger. TOGETHER WE SHALL OVERCOME!
And now, there´s only one thing left to do:
That's right, I hung myself, thanks to you, fuckers!
Update[edit | edit source]
Apparently, the assholes over here changed it or something. It now looks like this:
Now, it kinda looks like an asshole.
...
Or a vagina.
Fuck, who cares? I was just trying something original to get featured.