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BREAKING NEWS: Viacom.. I mean Paramount actually begins their quest to take over everything, fights Netflix for Warner Bros.

Elon Musk doesn't care whether Max wakes up Walking MAGA meme Elon Musk is urging people to cancel Netflix due to a long-canceled cartoon literally nobody has ever heard of and UnNews can't be bothered to look up. [Dead End: Paranormal Park, you lazy fuck! - Ed.] Musk posted on X: "Cancel Netflix for the health of your kids. Say no to the transgender woke agenda! Besides, there will be nothing worth watching on Netflix within the next three months. Nobody wants to see yet another Frankenstein. Guillermo del Toro peaked with Pacific Rim. And Nightmare Alley was so bad he should've been deported! Like I said, nothing worth watching on Netflix within the next three months. Mark my words!" Read more... Florida bill allows seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organ TALLAHASSEE, Florida — Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has signed sweeping new legislation intended to help seniors facing financial burdens: a new Florida law will now allow state residents aged 60 and up to hunt, dispatch and extract the skin and organs of young people under the age of 35. Seniors can choose to consume the collagen from the freshly pallid skin of slain zoomers, or harvest and sell their organs for a tidy profit. "Florida seniors have suffered the burden of property taxes, liver spots, uncomfortable dialysis chairs, not to mention the increasing price of sunscreen!" DeSantis stated in a press conference inside the Florida State Capitol building, "By allowing our most respected elders to humanely kill and process the bodies of young people—which I don't need to remind you contains thousands of dollars in organs, essential oils and collagen—we can help alleviate the burden on the generation which has done the most to build this state, and this nation as a whole." Read more...		Latest news ICE agents sighted confiscating ice cream from American citizens North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island Elon Musk doesn't care whether Max wakes up 6-7 buildings in Hong Kong burn down due to being built 67% cheaper Starmer's approval rating sinks down by about six or seven points Russian ship shines laser pointer at British planes DeSantis signs Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and ... Russian economy on life support Starmer to ban reselling tickets Pennsylvania legalises flying cars Union City celebrated 250th anniversary of Marines Trump kills the penny Russia’s new humanoid robot faceplants on stage Thieves steal six seven Roman statues from Syrian National Museum Ayy mon, they be da Hurricane in Jamaica! UK sends so-called “military experts” to Belgium to deal with drone attacks A new candidate enters 2028 Presidential race A dingo ate my baby Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky Star Over 1000 flights cancelled due to US government shutdown GD creator postpones 2.3 again Mark Sanchez buttfumbles again US Government shits itself Trump gets COVID booster shot despite supporters making their entire personaliti... Keir Starmer announces plans for new data harvesting scheme Trump declares war on escalators Nigel Farage asked nicely to stop lifting children UnNews state-sponsoredly remembers Charlie Kirk Man eats salmon sliders, doesn't know they're basically salmon burgers Sheeranism becomes legally recognized in the United States Angela Rayner defects to Reform NFL teams replace their female cheerleaders with gay dudes Donald Trump presents new science project to Cabinet You're too young to read this article Trump announces plan to "retake DC... Comics" Local Florist Gets Arrested After DUI Crash Leaves Victim in Critical Condition Keir Starmer to place national ban on VPNs Trump fires Zakk Wylde from Black Label Society Birthday Bash Takes a Dive: Helicopter Meets Hudson River Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione" » Older news
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Write an article! Simply enter the headline in the box below and click the button to create your own UnNews article! Guide to UnNews	Headlines (Add) Click a headline to make a story! Van Halen: 'Very possible there was a war crime committed' in Venezuela boat strike Van Halen to Democrats: "Stand for something. Don't just be anti-Trump" Keir Starmer to be replaced Trump sends condolences to "Lon Chaney" Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump work together to resurrect Jeffrey Epstein	Horoscopes (See all) Your horoscope for today: This week you have a bad case of diarrhoea, but you refuse to suffer in silence. Refresh
About UnNews UnNews is a project of the Uncyclomedia Foundation. It spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.	This day in news... 11 December 2023: North Pole elves go on strike 11 December 2020: English church faces persecution for tequila 11 December 2018: Santa Claus now "probably about a four" on the Kinsey scale 11 December 2017: A twist on 'naughty or nice' 11 December 2012: Questions for the new America 11 December 2011: Studies reveal that weight-loss can be achieved with this one simple trick 11 December 2009: The birth of a meme; Monkey Fuck Ridiculous 11 December 2008: "Feck" deemed non-offensive 11 December 2007: Alex Trebek fails to answer in form of question, suffers heart attack 11 December 2006: Death of Pinchot sparks riots, arrests 11 December 2005: French Rioters Come To Antarctica	Stories with Audio UnNews remembers Michelle Trachtenberg President Partons turkey UnNews remembers Phil Spector Strait Country is Rolling Stone's Gayest Album of All Time Tips to avoid the coronavirus North Korea to separate onto their own island (More • Podcast)
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