HOLLYWOOD --Lou Reed has overtaken Chris Gaines (the ill-fated rock star alter ego of country star Garth Brooks) to be named as the artist behind the worst-selling album of all time.
His greatest cacophony compilation, entitled: Metal Machine Music, has lost sales or streams of more than 99,900 since its release in July 1975, the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) said on Monday.
The RIAA recalculated sales of the album (which originally sold 100,000 copies), and certified the LP as having sold 100 copies, due to people returning the album to stores, or outright setting their copies on fire.
The announcement means that Chris Gaines Greatest Hits (also known as The Life of Chris Gaines), released in 1999 and selling or streaming more than 2 million times initially - or 2x platinum - and dropping down to 101 copies, is now in second place, but just barely.
UnNews is saddened to learn that, just days after being hospitalized and then put in hospice at her Detroit home, Aretha Franklin, The Queen of Soul, had died at the age of 76. Franklin came from humble beginnings, singing gospel in the choir of her father's New Bethel Baptist Church. In 1960, she pursued secular music and signed with Columbia, to only modest success. Her signing with Atlantic Records in 1967 brought her great success. Some of her earliest hits include "Respect" (originally a minor hit for Otis Redding), Carole King's "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman," "Spanish Harlem," and "Think."
HADDONFIELD, Illinois --John Carpenter, via his record label, Sacred Bones Records, has officially announced his score soundtrack to the upcoming sequel to his 40-year-old slasher classic, Halloween. The album will drop October 19, 2018 -- the same day as David Gordon Green's film. Michael Myers's Spotify playlist will stalk the quiet streets of Haddonfield in several varieties, including CD, black vinyl and limited-edition orange vinyl.
HOLLYWOOD -- Legendary pop singer Madonna -- known for such AARP-friendly hits as "Like a Virgin," "Justify My Love," "Express Yourself," "Crazy For You," "Papa Don't Preach," "Dress You Up (In My Love)," "Girl Gone Wild," "Give It 2 Me," and "Erotica" -- turned 60 Thursday. She is celebrating her milestone birthday with a special game of Bingo down at the retirement home, with special guests Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. There will be karaoke of Madonna's biggest hits, cake and ice cream, and Grandma's Cookies... baked by every woman tenant.
UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.