UnNews:Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Welcome to UnNews
Where stories come first, Hehe! Come!
Friday, May 7, 2021, 04:07 (UTC)
Mike Pence turns into a pickle
UnNews:Mike Pence turns into a pickle
COLUMBUS, Indiana -- Psycho Christian white supremacist former Vice President Mike Pence has gotten himself into another pickle. Only this time, it's quite literally a pickle. The former VP discovered that he had turned into a former cucumber. "No explanation at all," Pence told Newsmax Tuesday. "I just woke up one day and discovered I had turned into a pickle. I know the European Union turned President Trump into a walrus, and former Press Secretary... What was that bastard's name again?... into an eggman, but I believe they wouldn't waste their time on me. I believe it was Hillary Clinton, Obama, The Bidens, the Kennedys, The Addams Family, Rosie O'Donnell, Britney Spears, Oprah, Steve Harvey and those goddamned liberal Democrats who stole the election from me-- I mean, us!"

Toast seen in face of Jesus
UnNews:Toast seen in face of Jesus
TORONTO – A recent study finds that the resemblance of toast can be found on the face of Jesus in several pictures. Most of us have seen the face of Ronald Mc Donald in the randomly distributed rocks of the Martian surface, the Virgin Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich or the Mona Lisa in yo' Mama’s pubic hair. Faces are everywhere thanks to millions of years of evolution wiring our brains to spot them. Now, scientists at the University of Toronto have shown that this Pareidolia effect works two ways.
Lady Gaga's dogs stolen, returned
UnNews:Lady Gaga's dogs stolen, returned
LOS ANGELES, California -- In February, Lady Gaga's bull dogs were stolen and then returned. Now, a month and a half later, we have learned more about the incident and the perpetrators. The perps have been described as an unidentified, tall, lanky caucasian male (John Doe 1) and an unidentified short, stocky caucasian male (John Doe 2). They were working as henchman for Cruella01.jpgan unidentified caucasian woman with half-black/half-white hair


Latest news UnNews RSS Feed Uncyclopedia on Twitter UnNews on Facebook UnNews on YouTube Uncyclopedia on your phone Refresh Page
I want you, bitch!

Write an article!

Simply enter the headline in the box below and click the button to create your own UnNews article!


Guide to UnNews


Headlines Add Flapjack.png

Click a headline to make a story!

Astrology.jpg

Horoscopes See all

Your horoscope for today: Your partner is really into the whole 50 Shades of Grey thing, but she takes it a little too seriously this week when she climbs on top of you, calling you a worthless piece of shit, and beats you unconscious.



About UnNews
Uncyclomedia rocks the house.

An Uncyclomedia project

UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.

Current event marker.png

This day in news...

Radiomicrophone.gif

Stories with Audio