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John Kerry comes out as a horse WASHINGTON -- Special Presidential Envoy for Climate John Kerry announced Wednesday that he now identifies as a horse. There had been rumors of his equestrian nature going back to his 2004 presidential campaign. Rumors and crackpot conspiracy theories also suggested he was Frankenstein's Monster, Herman Munster or Lurch. "Today I'd like to announce that, yes, I am indeed a horse," Kerry, who has also been a senator and Secretary of State, said in his press release. "I have been transitioning since October." Kerry is 95 percent complete with his transition. Read more... "Donkey Kong told me to": Man robs bananas from supermarket Last Thursday, a man was seen robbing 20 bananas from the American Palm Exceptional Supermarket (APES). He put the bananas in a red bag saying DK and instantly ran out of the supermarket like The Flash drag-racing Superman. Thankfully, the police caught him and arrested him. He was sentenced to 8 years in jail. The man, whose name has not ben released, said that Donkey Kong told him to, “Donkey Kong told me that he wanted 20 bananas”. Read more...		Latest news Tiktok's scientists train users to "scroll down" Ooga equals booga John Kerry comes out as a horse "Donkey Kong told me to": Man robs bananas from supermarket Space junk safely Comes Down in Indian Ocean The Breakfast War Starts Mike Pence turns into a pickle Wake up call Toast seen in face of Jesus It's happening again National dogeday ensues, Dogecoin price is pumping, everyone is rich Trolling AI "indistinguishable" from humans Amazon to require workers to wear diapers Lady Gaga's dogs stolen, returned Cyclone Seroja Gives East Asia a Nasty Easter Gift Björk responds to Anti-Asian violence Stan Marsh presents: 2022 FIFA World Cup Tornadoes re-destroy south, but this time spread further north. Biden responds to North Korea's "stink" complaints Kevin Sama not guilty of his warcrimes! » Older news
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About UnNews An Uncyclomedia project UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.	This day in news... 6 June 2020: A review of College Buddies Number 1 6 June 2016: Stanford swimming ace in unfortunate sexual assault 6 June 2014: Should we send Bowe Bergdahl back? 6 June 2013: NSFW (or Anywhere Else): Hillary Clinton photographed nude 6 June 2012: Michelle Obama's debut as a comedienne falls flat 6 June 2011: David Cameron - Nick Clegg wedding announced 6 June 2010: Mexican drug cartel reportedly plotted to blow up Texas 6 June 2009: Superfriends revealed! Wendy Harris-Vulcan tells all! 6 June 2008: Obama wins Democratic nomination, Clinton pushes forward with campaign 6 June 2007: Slow news day results in bizarre death 6 June 2006: Bears shit in the woods, scientists baffled	Stories with Audio UnNews remembers Phil Spector Strait Country is Rolling Stone's Gayest Album of All Time Tips to avoid the coronavirus North Korea to separate onto their own island Something might happen tomorrow UnNews remembers Burt Reynolds » More | Podcast
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