HOLLYNWOOD, California -- In light of the recent apocalyptic events in Hollywood, in which Alec Baldwin has killed his director of photography, Halyna Hutchins, and Will Smith has bitchslapped Chris Rock during the Oscars six months later, and has left the Academy in result, Hollywood has finally decided to permanently change its name to Hollynwood. The American neighborhood's new name is a reference to "Weird Al" Yankovic's hometown of Lynwood, California. Thus, Hollynwood is claiming that it has become a complete parody of itself.
The historic Hollywood Sign on Mount Lee, Santa Monica would soon receive its tenth letter, N, which will be colored black instead of the traditional white, to honor the letter N and its black heritage.
In addition, Alec Baldwin's name will be permanently changed into Al Baldwin, and Will Smith's name into Weird Smith.
MOSCOW, Russia -- “It has been clear for many years,” announced the conqueror of Chechnya, “that George Pig is merely a façade, promoting the homosexual lifestyle with which the degenerate west wishes to enfeeble Russian youth. No more, shall young boys in Nizhny Novgorod be subject to the temper tantrums of Peppa Pig simply because nationalist thugs in London wish Russian boys to be terrified of their own shadows."
HOLLYWOOD, Los Angeles: In the wake of President Vladimir Putin's full-scale invasion of Ukraine, a shocking development occurred in Los Angeles, as his mother, Maria Ivanovna Putina, came back from the afterlife to deliver a heart-wrenching video message to her son, both chastising him for his actions and apologizing for her shortcomings as his parent.
The video, recorded by Hollywood actress AnnaLynn McCord due to complications in how travel between the afterlife and mortal world works, was widely disseminated over social media and seems to have tugged at the heartstrings of everyone who saw it, with the tragic exception, it seems, of Putin himself.
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