[RACIST CITY], [Racist state] -- The inexplicably long-running Fox-Spike-Paramount Network docuseries Cops has been cancelled, 25 years too late. The April 8, 1995 episode of Cops was the last episode that was even remotely watchable, if any of them ever were. I don't remember specifically what happened, but a bunch of stupidity ensued and it was like something out of Jerry Springer.
What brought on the much-belated cancellation of this show that you've long seen in the TV listings and wondered how it was still on the air? Well, to answer that question, have you not seen the shit happening on the news? Not only do we have a President and a virus killing us, but we have pig cops killing blacks, the seminal one being George Floyd.
“We have been very focused on the goings on across the pond,” The’s drummer Stewart Copeland said in an interview. “It has become evident to us that our former band name was a relic of a different time, one before this racial injustice at the hands of the police has come out in the open, and rest assured that we are most certainly not doing this as a publicity stunt.”
Sting, known for his role as the former lead singer and bassist of The, his successful solo career following The’s breakup, and his affinity for nude yoga (seriously), revealed that he had chosen the name in 1977 because, to quote him, “I don’t bloody know, it was 43 years ago and I was probably on loads of coke when I did it.” When asked about the current goings on in America, his response was, “What the devil is going on in America?”
NEW DELHI, INDIA -- English rock legends Pink Floyd, while visiting India, were killed by the Great COVID-19 Corona Virus Disease Pandemic of 2020. This happened just a few hours ago, while the band were attempting to entertain the infected citizens of India.
Wait, we have new reports coming in. In fact, Pink Floyd were not killed at all by coronavirus; those were fake news. The real news is that an Indian ladymonkeyclitoris was circumcised by religious fanatics, just for being pink. No way this is for real... let me check that again.
Oh, I see. Sorry about that. What REALLY happened is that the movie Joker totally came true. Some racist cop murdered a blackrapper for no reason, and the protesters killed Batman's parents in return. That's right. No, I ain't kidding. This black dude was called George Floyd. No English band was killed and no monkey clitoris was cut off. A black man was murdered by the police. Not the band The Police. The actual American police.
According to the President's remarks today, the terrorist organization is operating many cells around the world to spread its ideology of death and is using biological weapons against the United States.
Your horoscope for today: You can't decide what you love most about your new Apple Watch - whether it's the fact you have to keep your forearm raised in a super-comfortable position in front of your face, or the fun that can be had mimicking the action of winding and unwinding a watch which is still on your wrist.
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