Uncyclopedia:Best of
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Here you will find a list of the very best Uncyclopedia has to offer. It's not much but we're proud. Below are articles that have been featured on the front page, or almost featured on the front page, and various articles considered to be among the best on Uncyclopedia. You can choose the next article that shows up on this list, or look at the best images featured on the front page. Also, check out our Hall of Shame and thank the authors who write this crap.
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Articles in Alphabetical Order
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Featured articles by year
The Best of the Best, apparently. You can also vote to feature more articles.
2019
- Commando (film) (21 March)
- Gangrene (19 January)
- Hen named Ty (1 February)
- HowTo:Be German (10 January)
- KISS (12 January)
- Large text (17 January)
- Lincoln Logs (20 February)
- Madonna (25 February)
- Passive–aggressive behavior (5 February)
- Punk rock (16 March)
- UnNews:David Pecker picked a pic of Bezos's pecker (17 February)
- UnNews:Gerry-meandering Mississippi River declared unconstitutional by Supreme Court (18 January)
- UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) (29 January)
- Where Is Everybody? (25 January)
2018
- Ajit Pai (4 January)
- Art's True Meanings (28 May)
- Baboon (25 October)
- Behemoth (26 July)
- Death (band) (4 June)
- Hostile architecture (24 February)
- I ACCIDENTELATY CREATED A MEME (3 December)
- I Fucking Love John "Bermuda" Schwartz (24 June)
- Jules Verne (11 October)
- Kurt Vonnegut (1 September)
- L7 (12 January)
- Papyrus (5 February)
- The Larry Sanders Show (8 April)
- UnNews:Chevy Chase, Maryland, to change name to Bill Murray (19 December)
- UnNews:Chia bas the 14th letter of the Eglish alphabet (18 March)
- UnNews:European Union turns Donald Trump into a walrus (28 January)
- UnNews:Fishermen reel in MK15 Nuclear Bomb, plan to hang it on wall (20 July)
- UnNews:Flat earthers 'do not exist' (9 August)
- UnNews:New documentary challenges Simpsons aliens (27 November)
- UnNews:Russia meddles in Fox's 'The Four' singing competition (8 June)
- UnNews:This is a window (20 January)
- UnScripts:Waiting For Godot 3: Waiting For Gadot (16 February)
- Woody Allen (26 March)
2017
- Benito Mussolini (9 December)
- Deconstruction barrel (6 April)
- Holocaust film (2 June)
- HowTo:Deal with the Loss of a Loved One (1 January)
- Kicking pigeons is FUN! (16 May)
- Leninade (1 August)
- PANIC! at the Disco (9 March)
- People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata (2 April)
- Prohibition (30 April)
- Reductio ad Hitlerum (11 August)
- Sam Harris (8 May)
- Television (22 April)
- UnNews:Disney merges Star Wars and Christmas (14 April)
- UnNews:Former Last FM chairman launches controversial sexual assault site (14 March)
- UnNews:Local homophobe creampies QANTAS CEO (12 June)
- UnNews:PETA demands the right to bear poop (20 June)
- UnNews:Trump nominates new Dr. Who (24 May)
- UnNews:Trump presidency just a dream, George W. Bush still president (30 November)
- UnReviews:Rotten Tomatoes (1 October)
- UnTunes:Come In My Face (6 July)
- White History Month (28 March)
2016
- "Weird Al" Yankovic (25 October)
- A Charlie Brown Christmas (28 December)
- Albert Einstein (10 May)
- Allah's law (8 August)
- Barack Obama (24 May)
- Cadillac, Michigan (4 May)
- Comic Sans (13 October)
- Crusades (13 July)
- Daily Mail (16 May)
- Fortune cookie (27 June)
- Futurama (5 March)
- Gamergate (22 November)
- HowTo:Be an adult (4 February)
- Joseph Stalin (27 February)
- Lincoln-Douglas Debates (18 July)
- Mister Rogers' Neighborhood (6 April)
- Noble gases (13 September)
- Old White Man (25 January)
- Pornography (full article) (7 February)
- Robin Williams (8 January)
- Rock lobster (29 January)
- Sony (28 April)
- Sovereign citizen (19 April)
- Speedy Gonzales (23 April)
- Split infinitive (14 August)
- Stephen Colbert (3 July)
- Sunset Advisory Commission (22 August)
- Three-strikes law (2 January)
- Tom Waits (2 September)
- UnBooks:It's not natural! (8 July)
- UnBooks:Jimbo's Love Life: The Story of Wikipe-tan (15 February)
- UnBooks:The Black and White House: Hillary and Barack (1 June)
- UnNews:Britain is on Fire (1 August)
- UnNews:Link found between watching Super Bowl and concussion (12 February)
- Wes Anderson (21 February)
2015
- African American/racist (16 March)
- Aliana y los Enanitos Grandes (21 June)
- American cuisine (25 April)
- Anaconda Plan (7 April)
- Before Broken Britain (20 August)
- Caitlyn Jenner (6 July)
- Cars 2 (8 December)
- Chris Hansen (13 June)
- Corn snake (7 May)
- Cricket (6 March)
- D20 Uncyclopedia (2 October)
- David Foster Wallace (22 November)
- Electric Light Orchestra (1 June)
- Extreme Beach Chess (20 September)
- Finland (10 November)
- Fuck the Police (6 August)
- God, kittens, masturbation, killing, and you (10 October)
- Great Pacific Cum Patch (7 June)
- HowTo:Install a ceiling fan without getting your dick stuck in it (28 December)
- I have a dream (26 March)
- Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (28 February)
- More dildos (4 October)
- Neo-Luddite Dynamite (16 November)
- Nothing's syndrome (25 February)
- PlayStation 3 (14 July)
- Pope Francis (19 May)
- Qin Shi Huang (25 January)
- Rembrandt (26 February)
- Rough Gay Wolf Sex (19 June)
- Slut shaming (2 March)
- Spambot (7 November)
- Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (3 November)
- Star Wars opening crawl (27 October)
- Sydney (13 May)
- The 9-11 Commission Report (27 July)
- The Evolution of Modern Music (1 May)
- The Last of Us (10 January)
- The Misunderstood (26 May)
- This is IT! Where's the Money? (28 August)
- Tornado (4 January)
- Tumblr (28 September)
- UnBooks:Grey is the New Pink (23 August)
- UnBooks:Nuclear Football (22 August)
- UnBooks:Space Jew-hunting (12 September)
- UnBooks:The Complete Asshole's Guide to Time Travel (21 October)
- UnNews:Celtic F.C. sign youth player in transfer mix-up (3 August)
- UnNews:Five cut out and keep comments for your social media life (21 July)
- UnNews:Mick Jagger dragged away by wild horses (16 August)
- UnNews:President pardons furries (26 November)
- UnPoetia:Do Not Shag Gentle During That Good Night (12 March)
- UnPoetia:I went to Target (2 December)
- UnScripts:Films of Waves Accompanied by a Breathy Voice-over to be shown at Modern Art Galleries (21 May)
- UnScripts:Prometheus (13 April)
- UnTunes:God Screw You Royally, Gentlemen (21 December)
- UnTunes:This is faggotry! (10 August)
- Uncyclopedia Guide to Latin Phrases (16 September)
- Uncyclopedian (19 April)
- Unidentified Jedi Council member (2 September)
2014
- 43 (6 March)
- A letter about Megan Fox (15 December)
- Adam and Eve (30 May)
- Amazon: A survival story (24 March)
- Antibiotics (26 September)
- Antiques Roadshow (20 October)
- Antoninus Pius (1 November)
- Aries (13 October)
- Assassin's Creed (3 February)
- Bat Fuck Origami (28 July)
- Bidet (26 July)
- Bluestocking (8 October)
- Bread machine (13 June)
- Breaking Bad Wind (10 May)
- Canadian baseball (4 July)
- Captain Autofellatio (22 August)
- Captain Britain (19 June)
- Cereal (22 May)
- Cherry (26 October)
- Cleopatra (3 January)
- Cockroach (26 May)
- Content-free (19 January)
- Dag Hammarskjöld (17 November)
- EU (13 January)
- Ebola (6 October)
- Electricity (14 November)
- English language (9 January)
- Ernest Hemingway (30 March)
- Evil Jesus (1 June)
- F4 (19 August)
- Firesheep (4 October)
- Flying Purple People Eater (16 February)
- Food (28 May)
- Glory hole (29 August)
- God Hates Fags (3 September)
- Great Barrier Reef (2 September)
- Guidebook to the Voting Rights Movement related faces in the cloud (1 February)
- Hell (30 January)
- Herbert Hoover (9 November)
- History of the world (18 April)
- HowTo:Cure homosexuality (17 August)
- HowTo:Fry an egg (2 October)
- HowTo:Repair a broken smartphone (31 August)
- Humans (25 August)
- Jared Leto (30 August)
- Jizzlam (21 December)
- Ludwig Wittgenstein (18 September)
- Melbourne (17 October)
- Mithraism (20 July)
- My Week Without Porn (14 July)
- My Yu-Gi-Oh! collection (22 September)
- New Age (3 June)
- Newport Cigarettes because fuck yeah I'm drunk let's have some fun (1 September)
- Nirvana (9 December)
- Nouvelle cuisine (28 September)
- Offended (9 June)
- Patch Adams (5 April)
- Peter Sagan (18 March)
- Potatoe (2 August)
- Power (7 December)
- Psychedelic Rosie and Her Coat of Many Colors (5 September)
- Python (programming language) (9 April)
- Reggae (31 December)
- Richard Nixon (22 October)
- Samsung (5 November)
- Shirley Phelps-Roper (10 September)
- Solar flares (24 October)
- Solar wind (3 November)
- Taoism (23 April)
- Thailand (11 December)
- The Camera Obscura Collection of Hans Helmuth Saltzman (1602-1668) (31 July)
- The Speck of Dust Next to My Keyboard (2 February)
- The USA versus the primitive Taliban (15 April)
- The shits (27 August)
- The unusual hamstring pain fat people get when they sexual role play as babies, and how to cure it (4 September)
- This is not an article (26 April)
- Tits (28 February)
- Tour de France (24 January)
- Ukraine (25 November)
- UnBooks:Aesop's Tables (24 August)
- UnBooks:Holmes On Homes (14 August)
- UnBooks:Mr. Happy's Bible Primer (12 November)
- UnBooks:My Pal Stanley Kubrick (9 February)
- UnBooks:My school day (15 January)
- UnBooks:Sunday my Sunday (29 November)
- UnDebate:Should women rap? (15 October)
- UnDebate:What does the fox say? (26 August)
- UnNews:Guy Gets Crazy (20 May)
- UnNews:Harris wobbled me against my will - board (28 August)
- UnNews:Hyrule physicists report quantum fluctuations (19 November)
- UnNews:Local grandfather won't just accept alien overlords (30 October)
- UnNews:Lucy movie affects viewers' brains (23 September)
- UnNews:Martin Luther King's tomb discovered (12 March)
- UnNews:Massage bugs discovered in Uganda (18 May)
- UnNews:Michael Bay's guide to public speaking (22 February)
- UnNews:My balls itch (3 December)
- UnNews:Obama to outline IS strategy after consulting Stonehenge gods (24 September)
- UnNews:The football is over (29 June)
- UnNews:US thrilled over pleasant execution (10 July)
- UnNews:Wrestlemania 87 commentary LIVE! (21 November)
- UnPoetia:Tao Te Ching (25 June)
- UnScripts:How TV can solve the Third World Debt Crisis (12 May)
- UnTunes:Do Islamic State Know It's Christmas? (25 December)
- UnTunes:Imagine No Taxes (14 September)
- User:Hardwick Fundlebuggy (2 May)
- What's-his-name off that thing (12 August)
- White-haired Asian Scientist (11 October)
- Why?:Are motorists out to get me when I ride my bike? (14 May)
- Why?:Eat a full English Breakfast (28 October)
- Why?:We Can't Have Nice Things (16 May)
- Will Harridge (24 May)
- Winter sports (1 December)
- You Are Gay (7 August)
2013
- 1875 Dunedin beach baseball riots (8 February)
- 1989 (9 July)
- 1993 (2 July)
- 9 out of 10 (27 April)
- 9-11 according to a 5 year old (4 July)
- A Helpful Compilation of the One Hundred (or so) Worst Things to Stick Your Dick into, and an Account of the Scientific Explorations Thereof — An Abridged Folio Edition, with Copious Illustrations and Annotations, for Your Edification and Enlightenment (27 January)
- Alexander Hamilton (9 September)
- Ambiguity (16 October)
- Amnesia: The Dark Descent (10 February)
- Animals with feet war with animals with no feet (9 November)
- Apple (25 July)
- Blacking Up (18 October)
- BladeRunnerway Bride (12 March)
- Cafeteria food (20 September)
- Change.org (22 April)
- Charlie Brown (25 February)
- Claudette Colvin (3 January)
- Confederate States Air Force (27 June)
- Constantine II (10 August)
- Constitution of the United States (actual text) (4 September)
- Curious George (16 May)
- David Brubeck (26 January)
- Departments of France (5 November)
- Does the Pope shit in the woods? (11 December)
- Don't judge a book by its cover (29 April)
- Dr. N. Toleránt's Informative Letter: An Informative Letter (18 April)
- Drawing (14 April)
- Fred Basset (14 March)
- George H. W. Bush (11 July)
- Gerard Way (24 January)
- Get-rich-quick scheme (2 April)
- Glass Mike Tyson (8 April)
- God's deleted contributions (24 November)
- Gramp's Insane Ramblings: Life Lessons (26 September)
- Grand Rapids, Michigan (8 January)
- Gym (16 July)
- Hack writer (25 January)
- Hannibal Lecter (7 January)
- History of Great Britain (15 January)
- Holy Roman Empire (16 September)
- Homework (16 December)
- HowTo:Be Russian (2 August)
- HowTo:Be a hipster (10 October)
- HowTo:Beet off (5 January)
- HowTo:Insulate your loft (9 January)
- HowTo:Know if you're right brained or left brained (5 December)
- HowTo:Make it drink (15 October)
- HowTo:Pimp a ho (16 April)
- HowTo:Teach a six-legged lame man how to jump rope (25 April)
- HowTo:Wash the Dishes (10 July)
- I want a cookie (17 January)
- I'd like to talk to you about Jesus (19 March)
- IEye (30 March)
- James Bevel's face in a cloud (20 October)
- James Cook (11 March)
- Jesus Lites™ (18 June)
- John Hancock Center (5 September)
- Katy Perry Hit Generator (28 July)
- Katy Perry Hit Generator/1 (28 July)
- Krypton (2 September)
- Make Hummus Not War (3 August)
- Mammogram (13 February)
- Massholes (29 July)
- Matt Smith giving Mr-ex777 buttsex (5 May)
- Melba toast (24 October)
- Mexico (6 June)
- Mongolia (18 July)
- Monopoly (game) (2 January)
- Mr-ex777 raped by Magic Ponies (25 June)
- Mutaween (31 January)
- Nelson Mandela (17 June)
- Neptune (22 October)
- Nillion (18 March)
- Number (28 December)
- Oz (American TV series) (1 September)
- Page title (30 November)
- Perfect Square (28 January)
- Phil Ochs (2 June)
- Phone sex (1 June)
- Platinum (15 February)
- Please unblock me (30 October)
- Probability theory (8 July)
- Public domain (21 April)
- RMS Titanic (7 July)
- Reasonable doubt (13 April)
- Red Bull (6 April)
- Saw (17 February)
- Scissor (15 June)
- Silent radio (29 January)
- Simone Bittencourt de Oliveira (23 August)
- Snakes on a Plane (12 April)
- Still life (24 March)
- Symphony in Z Minor (13 January)
- The Andy Griffith Show (19 July)
- The Life and Times of a Cute Little Puppy (10 May)
- The Lorax (10 April)
- The Maori Show (16 March)
- The New Jersey Hoax (23 February)
- The Picture of Dorian Gray (5 July)
- The Wikipedia BBS (27 February)
- The X-HEIRS (6 July)
- The best comedic methods; analysis (23 April)
- The things your family doesn't know (30 January)
- There's Something Strange About My Neighbor... (1 February)
- Three Watchmen and a Baby (20 April)
- To the Lighthouse (9 April)
- Toilets in Japan (21 May)
- Twm (17 October)
- Umbrella (30 August)
- UnBooks:Biography: The guy who invented soap (19 February)
- UnBooks:Did you ever lock horns with a goat? (26 July)
- UnBooks:Funeral of the Easter Bunny (31 October)
- UnBooks:Guns don't kill people ... people kill themselves (12 October)
- UnBooks:My Summer Vacation in Saudi Arabia (8 September)
- UnBooks:The Brothers Karamazov (5 February)
- UnBooks:The Day I Met My Enemy (24 April)
- UnBooks:The Pet Goat (29 May)
- UnBooks:The Second Conquest of the Moon (28 April)
- UnBooks:Those uncomfortable moments when no one knows what to do (23 May)
- UnBooks:Uncyclopedia Owner's Manual (20 June)
- UnDebate:Is gun control necessary? (29 March)
- UnGuides:Being an American Television Producer (28 June)
- UnNews:"Gay" doesn't mean what Internet thinks it means (12 February)
- UnNews:A-bombs dropped on Japan awarded Nobel Peace Prize (15 April)
- UnNews:Abducted Ohio girls check MySpace (19 May)
- UnNews:Abraham Lincoln walking amongst us; won't go home (24 July)
- UnNews:Actor Paul Walker, age 40, victim of fiery typecasting accident (22 December)
- UnNews:Army launches new recruiting ad campaign (4 August)
- UnNews:Bale kills Bale in Bale with bale; gets bail (31 May)
- UnNews:Bellicose Uzi kills Lebanese gangster’s ex-wife (7 April)
- UnNews:Bush blames Barney for Iraq war decision (11 February)
- UnNews:Canadian women must now wear horns (18 November)
- UnNews:Christian Radio's "Carmageddon" prediction fails to materialize (2 November)
- UnNews:Coca-Cola recycles its beverage "base" (15 September)
- UnNews:Delicious New Zealand bird set for extinction by 2023 (4 February)
- UnNews:Earth gains on Mars for sandiest planet (20 July)
- UnNews:Editorial: I don't mean to be rude, but please don't do that to my daughter (28 March)
- UnNews:Elephant beaten to death with grandmother (17 April)
- UnNews:First Pet Rock passes away (12 July)
- UnNews:Gandhi statue coming to life in London (1 August)
- UnNews:Hand transplant man masturbates for first time (7 February)
- UnNews:Hark! The Herald Angus Sings (25 September)
- UnNews:Harry gets Hogwarts letter (23 July)
- UnNews:Indeed, Quvenzhané Wallis is a cunt (3 September)
- UnNews:Interview with Nicolas Maduro (5 October)
- UnNews:Islamic controversies ruining 9/11 celebrations across the country (1 July)
- UnNews:Joe Biden stepped in dog shit (30 July)
- UnNews:Kennedy Assassination Solved (22 July)
- UnNews:Local boy helps team win championship game (22 March)
- UnNews:Man makes headlines (6 September)
- UnNews:Man sues God; is smited (3 February)
- UnNews:Man's nipples fall right off (19 April)
- UnNews:Margaret Thatcher tragically dies 30 years too late (26 April)
- UnNews:Marijuana Legalized in Florida for Even-Numbered addresses (14 June)
- UnNews:Michigan man accumulates 29 degrees--and still can't land a job! (21 October)
- UnNews:My damn TV won't work (31 July)
- UnNews:NFL: Washington set to change nickname (19 October)
- UnNews:NONSENSE WATERMELON CATASTROPHE (23 January)
- UnNews:New 9/11 video inspires advertisers (29 June)
- UnNews:Nintendo Puu to be released (4 April)
- UnNews:Police attempt to wash homeless man (13 June)
- UnNews:Poor people Occupy St. Peter's Square (8 May)
- UnNews:Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer dead at 53 (11 April)
- UnNews:Scientists "discover" new fossils (15 March)
- UnNews:Syrup thieves caught (15 July)
- UnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore (29 September)
- UnNews:Ugly Child Abducted, Quickly Returned (11 June)
- UnNews:Uncyclopedia moves to UPN (11 January)
- UnNews:Unwikileaks in the news (6 February)
- UnNews:Was 9/11 an outside job? (7 September)
- UnNews:What happened to Italian cocks? (21 January)
- UnReviews:Big Budgeted Action Movie with Tons O' Explosions (29 August)
- UnReviews:The Crimean War (16 June)
- UnScripts:It's Spring Break! (31 March)
- UnScripts:The Treaty of Minaj-Black (3 July)
- UnScripts:The United States Government Just Doesn't Give a Fuck (10 January)
- UnScripts:Tony Hancock: The Sperm Donor (21 February)
- UnScripts:Your Guide to Notable Literature: Abridged (16 August)
- User:Leverage/Test (28 July)
- Vader v. Vader (21 September)
- Whale bones (13 March)
- What To Do When Gypsies Steal Your Carrots (14 October)
- Why?:Am I Frozen in Carbonite? (13 October)
- Why?:Did I Decide to Audition for Big Brother? (19 June)
- Why?:Have an alienating music taste (21 July)
- Why?:My homework was late (15 November)
- Why?:Revert the administrators (10 September)
- Why?:Sell Cocaine to Monkeys (19 September)
- WikiLeaks (7 June)
- Wild Jews (2 February)
- You don't want to know (17 September)
2012
- 0.999... (4 July)
- A Victorian Gentleman's Guide to the Trivialities of Courtship (23 May)
- Above Top Secret (17 April)
- Alternative legal systems (6 October)
- Amero (17 March)
- An infinite number of monkeys with typewriters (28 September)
- Anna Kournikova (17 February)
- Anti-humour (28 February)
- Antifreeze (22 March)
- Apathy (30 May)
- Aran Islands (24 February)
- Archaeology (18 March)
- Aristocrats (class) (21 March)
- Arizona (7 June)
- Asexuality (20 May)
- Ask.com (13 July)
- Astrology (14 September)
- Auld Lang Syne (31 December)
- Avenge my death (25 August)
- Baby boomers (20 June)
- Bad things have happened recently (22 January)
- Battle of Trafalgar (18 October)
- Battle of the Alamo (1 December)
- Being and Nothingness (20 November)
- Bhagavad-gita (2 May)
- Bing Crosby (3 April)
- Bipolar Girl (3 May)
- Bitcoin (14 December)
- Boardwalk Empire (16 December)
- Brian Sewell (23 September)
- Byronic hero (20 March)
- Cartilage (4 August)
- Chanupocalypse (10 December)
- Charles Mingus (11 January)
- Cheech & Chong (26 January)
- Chick-fil-A (13 August)
- Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission (7 September)
- Claude Monet (10 January)
- Clint Eastwood's Mule (21 December)
- Common sense (4 January)
- Compulsive cabin building (6 December)
- Confidence (5 May)
- Corn (3 November)
- Counting to potato (9 April)
- Cow tipping (15 April)
- Crumpet (8 June)
- Cum Dumpster (19 January)
- Dead Dicks (7 March)
- Deepwater Horizon oil spill (12 December)
- Disney (4 September)
- Donald Trump (27 November)
- Doody (19 August)
- DuMont Television Network (26 April)
- Earth's Children (29 April)
- Esperanto (23 January)
- Extra mega brownie points (28 May)
- Fall of Constantinople (5 January)
- Fancy (1 September)
- Fifty shades of grey (12 August)
- Finger Cancer (18 June)
- Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle (9 January)
- Frankly Disappointing Telescope (28 April)
- Freezer (6 August)
- Frog Semen (12 February)
- Function (mathematics) (12 September)
- Funny (3 March)
- GIANT NOVELTY FOAM HANDS!!! (13 March)
- Gangnam Style (11 December)
- Girl with a Pearl Earring (29 February)
- God's userpage (19 February)
- Grandmother paradox (18 December)
- Great Australian tourist destinations (29 January)
- Green ink (19 December)
- Guyana (14 November)
- Hairy ball theorem (7 November)
- Helen of Troy (21 August)
- Heraclitus (10 April)
- Hipster (14 October)
- Hiroshima (9 September)
- Hmor (22 October)
- Holding Open Doors (10 May)
- Homophones (grammar) (14 March)
- HowTo:Be Happy (22 February)
- HowTo:Be an American in Europe (29 November)
- HowTo:Become an Assassin (5 November)
- HowTo:Become the king of pop (5 September)
- HowTo:Build a Paper Empire (8 July)
- HowTo:Get things for free (5 March)
- HowTo:Kill Yourself With A Brick (21 November)
- HowTo:Make a sitcom (13 September)
- HowTo:Make your own Large Hadron Collider (6 September)
- HowTo:Meet women (10 July)
- HowTo:Persuade your husband (12 March)
- HowTo:Stalk your ex (1 November)
- Human anatomy (12 July)
- IBauer (15 August)
- India (23 April)
- Inter-Lights Inc (18 February)
- Is the bear a Catholic? (1 August)
- James Bevel (1 March)
- Japanese TV series centered around battles where powerful creatures are summoned using some small object that usually has a real-life equivalent of these battles in the form of a game, except in real life, you don't actually get to summon any creatures (16 September)
- Jaws (film) (17 September)
- Jeopardy! (14 August)
- Jew (5 July)
- JigSaw (25 November)
- Jim Morrison (30 December)
- John Travolta (17 December)
- Julian Assange (4 October)
- Kerala (25 December)
- Koch Brothers (23 December)
- Kwanzaa (24 May)
- Lance Armstrong (8 September)
- Lasagne (2 October)
- Lawn mowers (24 January)
- Luxembourg (city) (29 August)
- Magic Pantheism (21 June)
- Maine (22 June)
- Martin Luther King, Jr. (2 March)
- Mathematics (29 March)
- Medical school (16 June)
- Mensa (16 November)
- Michael Jackson (14 June)
- Minecraft (30 August)
- Minor League Baseball (4 May)
- Mohandas Gandhi (6 March)
- Monocle (8 April)
- Mountain Dew (12 October)
- Muffin the Mule (23 November)
- My Dog Has Fleas (18 July)
- My Lai Massacre (7 May)
- Nazi Eating (17 August)
- Newt Gingrich (30 April)
- Next Year's Australian Grand Prix (18 May)
- Nineteen Eighty-Four (26 March)
- Nuclear semiotics (31 March)
- Object Permanence (2 August)
- Objectivity (2 September)
- Peacock (11 September)
- Penis penis Penis penis penis penis Penis penis (17 July)
- Pierre Curie (20 February)
- Plant (25 January)
- Political correctness (26 May)
- Prime Directive (20 July)
- Professor X (8 August)
- Quebec City (31 August)
- RMS Olympic (27 April)
- Recent developments in Crypto-Zoology (30 March)
- Resident Evil (24 April)
- Reverse Holocaust (15 May)
- Richard Pryor (13 June)
- Rick Santorum (13 April)
- Rock and Roll (food) (20 September)
- Rocks (26 September)
- Romance of the Three Kingdoms (8 December)
- Ron Paul (21 April)
- Salvador Dalí (12 May)
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2011
- 1969 24 Hours of Le Mans (20 November)
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- A Day With My Son (1 April)
- A Fine Frenzy (29 January)
- A Man Getting Hit in the Crotch 800 Times (16 September)
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- A pizza a day keeps the doctor away (21 July)
- Adam West (16 March)
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- Why?:Categorise pages (22 April)
- Why?:Does Mads Mikkelsen not speak one line of dialogue in Valhalla Rising? (5 June)
- Why?:IPs can't edit the main page (16 August)
- Why?:Invade the Falklands (9 August)
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2010
- 5 Things Cracked Stole From Uncyclopedia (24 October)
- A Brief History Of Hot Bitches In Leather Kicking Ass (5 January)
- A Tinge of Minge (18 January)
- A wizard did it (28 April)
- A. A. Milne (7 November)
- Alfred E. Neuman (21 October)
- Amerigo Vespucci (1 February)
- Anal sex (11 August)
- Anderson Cooper (25 June)
- Animal Suicide (13 July)
- Ann Coulter (9 October)
- Anne Hathaway (13 February)
- Arachnism (5 August)
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- Batman (24 April)
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- Chicken (29 September)
- Chris Rock (15 March)
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- Collective Nouns (29 November)
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2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
Runners-up
Quasi-Featured Articles which were nominated for featured article status but only received a moderate amount of support.
- 101 uses for a dead cat 8/13
- 11-Wide 10/13
- A Message From Glenn Beck 7.5/15
- An Open Letter from "Protect the Overtly Offensive Foundation" 8/10 6/12
- Ancient Aliens 5/8.5
- Atlas Shrugged 9.5/12
- Bad Directions 9/14
- Bat Fuck Moped 6/10
- Beaux-Arts architecture 8.5/17
- Brittany 7/10
- Bureaucracy 7/14
- Canadians 10/17
- Captain's log 11.5/18.5 6.5/13
- Carry On Film 11/15
- Category:Quasi-Featured Images
- Comparative evaluation of the indirect immunoperoxidase test for the serodiagnosis of rickettsial disease 6/10
- Desperate Dates 9/13
- Eleventeen 9/2
- Emo Rap 6/11
- Facebook 6/12
- Ferocious Flesh-Eating Feet 6.5/12
- Forum:Funniest Article
- Forum:Pwn4g3
- Forum:Should Quasi-Featured articles that later get featured still be listed in Category:Quasi-Featured, and if not, how would I go about getting rid of them?
- H.R. Pufnstuf 16/20
- Happy Feet 10/18
- Hermaphrodite 15/17.5
- HowTo:Dig The Yardbirds 9/12
- HowTo:Live with UC 7/14 6/12
- HowTo:Misbehave in a Library 10/20
- HowTo:Properly Whore Your Article 10/18.5
- Hydrogen is being impersonated!! 7.5/12
- I'm an Ascended Master.....Get Me OUT of Here! 7/14.5
- Irish Potato Famine 7/13
- Laughter 6/11.5
- Leftism 7/11.5
- Lurking 10/15
- Lynx (Character) 6/11
- Mah Nà Mah Nà 7/11
- Making up Oscar Wilde quotes 6/1
- Marys lamb 1/15
- Mondo Uncyclopedia 9/13
- Mystery Science Theater 3000 (revival) 8/13
- Naruto 14.5/17
- Obesity Fines 7/14
- Pathological liar 13/22
- Pentium 4
- Pet Jesus 8/16
- Planet Google 6.5/12
- Pocket pussy 9/13
- Psycho-Knife My Pygmy 11/18
- Readme.txt 12/17
- Robot uprising 10/16
- Running of the Bulls 5.5/8
- Scots law 7/10
- Secret Governmental Report Number 244212 8/13
- Segue: a monologue 8/15.5
- Self-aggrandizement
- Shanty town 6/12
- Solid Gold (TV series) 13/19.5
- Star Trek: Voyager 8 of 16
- That time I nearly got an article featured by the community during my sojourn in Uncyclopedia an embarrasing -1.5 score
- The Baker's Dozen 9/17
- The Beatles: Ringo Needs Some Money 13/19.5
- The Future 10/17
- The Lost Vikings 13/23
- The Mementocrats 7/14
- UnBooks:The Idiot's Guide to Getting Your Own Back (Ex-Wife Edition) 8.5/16
- UnBooks:The Sun 12/18
- UnBooks:The Von Stauberg Institute for Extreme Cardiac Stress Tests 6.5/13
- UnBooks:The n00b Survival Guide 12/18.5
- UnNews:"Breastaurants" share their secrets of success 5.5/10.5
- UnNews:"Sexter" abused, possibly raped 10/13
- UnNews:23,000 police officers are actually ice-cream salesmen 6/10
- UnNews:Abortion debate ends in change of opinion 4/8
- UnNews:Australia to Aborigines: 'Sorry for the killing and the stealing and stuff' 9.5/17
- UnNews:Benny Hinn strongly opposes Obamacare 7/14
- UnNews:Boy found at home, alone 10.5/12
- UnNews:Dunkirk debacle may extend war 11.5/14
- UnNews:Embarrassed paedophile apologizes to children for poor sexual performance 7/12.5
- UnNews:Emos the world over voyage to Swiss death clinics 10/17
- UnNews:Government to distribute chocolate chip cookies to Americans in "stimulus package" 9/12
- UnNews:Iceland brings Europe to standstill, denies responsibility 6/12
- UnNews:In last weeks of presidency, Bush saves world 7.5/15
- UnNews:Ireland expectedly lowers drinking age to 4 9/10
- UnNews:Malik Obama loses election amid passport row 4/8
- UnNews:NASA boldly goes where no kiddy ride has gone before 12/21
- UnNews:Original Van Halen lineup to begin touring, fighting again 11/18
- UnNews:Saddam's tomb found empty after 3 days; resurrected leader appears to followers 10/16
- UnNews:Samsung sells phones, everybody cares 7/12.5
- UnNews:Scientific study reveals that David Bowie does not make sense 8/13.5
- UnNews:Swiss experiment shows no difference in the behavior of heterosexual and homosexual mice when married or unmarried 8/11
- UnNews:UnNews officially endorses Mike Gravel for president 10/18
- UnNews:Uncyclopedia Internal Security Department warns on Malaysia 9/14
- UnNews:Uncyclopedia launches first satellite 7/14
- UnNews:Unsung hero makes ultimate sacrifice 19/11
- UnNews:Various Niggas be Trippin 8/14
- UnNews:Virgin Shark gives birth to Aquatic Messiah 13/23.5
- UnNews:Whitey goes to Heaven 8.5/15
- UnPoetia:Why, oh why, Mister Cat! 6.5/13
- UnPoetia:Your "Eau aip Ods" 9/14
- UnScripts:The Sex Changer 11/19
- UnScripts:Winnegan's Fake 8.5/11
- UnTunes:Artsy and Misunderstood: A Bedroom Emo Song 7/10
- UnTunes:I Kissed a Girl (And I Threw Up) 9.5/11.5
- UnTunes:It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year 8.5/8.5
- Uncyclopedia 6/11.5
- Uncyclopedia Needs More Snakes 9/12
- Uncyclopedia:Accuracy
- Uncyclopedia:Confessions of an admin: Friends of gays should not be allowed to edit articles 13/19
- Uncyclopedia:Let's talk about something important 13.5/3.5
- Uncycloversity:Rejection Notice 5.5/8.5
- User:Gamma287/ITW/Nazi Zombies 8/10.5
- User:Manwithnoname/Naruto 14.5/17
- User:Mhaille/Awards 9/16
- Whore: A Retrospective 10/13
- Whose pussy is this? 5.5/11
- Why?:College is for suckers! 6.5/12.5
- Why?:I'm in court, Mum 15/7
- You 4.5/8
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