Protected page

Newmath

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Minitrue mark New math (ambiguation) doubleplusungood crimethink.


Newmath approve by Minitrue for inclusion to state curriculum 1984. It part of Oceania newcurriculum, pluswith newspeak and goodthink. This document assist teachers, principals, parents understand newcurriculum.

Description

Newmath determine by researchers at Miniluv (oldspeak: Justice Department) to be doubleplusgood at promoting goodthink and discouraging crimethink. The inclusion of newmath in the core curriculum will also hasten the obsolescence of oldthink. As part of an interdisciplinary program in elementary and secondary schools, newmath will foster skills that students will need to fully function in society, such as blackwhite and doublethink. Newmath will also encourage patriotism and respect for the party.

The newmath curriculum emphasizes basic arithmetic, geometry, and goodthink (oldspeak: logic).

Examples

Students will learn newmath through a problem-based approach. Some problems included in the Minitrue-approved text, Newmath, 3rd edition, are excerpted below.

  • Last year, Miniplenty announced that chocolate rations were 30 grams per week. This year, chocolate rations went up to 20 grams per week. What is the error here?
Since chocolate rations went up, the claim that chocolate rations were 30 grams per week is inconsistent and must be a fabrication disseminated by agents of Emmanuel Goldstein. The error is the crimethink that was caused by lending credence to a fraud perpetrated by agents of Goldstein.
  • A statement from Minitrue (oldspeak: CNN) broadcast on prolefeed (oldspeak: television) states that 2 terror agents of Emmanuel Goldstein were captured in Basra. Another 2 terror agents were captured in Fallujah. The capture of 5 agents in one day is a triumph for Ingsoc (oldspeak: Labour Party). What is the error?
The 2 agents in Basra along with the 2 agents in Fallujah add up to 5 agents. Hence the statement on prolefeed is equivalent to the equation
This mathematical equation, as part of an official Party statement produced by Minitrue, must be true. The error was the crimethink produced by doubting or questioning a statement by Minitrue.
  • In June 2004, agents of Goldstein and allied Eurasian Eastasian terrorists effected the permanent retirement from peace operations of 50 Oceanian troops In Iraq. In June 2005, 83 troops were permanently retired from peace operations in the Iraqi theater. Calculate the number of permanent retirements that will take place in June 2006.
Minipax (oldspeak: Department of Defense) spokesman Inner Party brother Donald Rumsfeld Robert Gates states that the insurgency in Iraq is in its last throes. Hence, the number of permanent retirements must decline to 0 in June 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 as a doubleplusgood victory by Oceania will be assured by that time.

Implementation and Results

Standardized testing has shown full implementation of Newmath in all schools in Oceania. Minitrue reports that improvements in scores have been doubleplusgood since approval of newcurriculum.

See also

Potatohead aqua.png
Featured version: 17 October 2005
This article has been featured on the front page—You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.Template:FA/17 October 2005Template:FA/2005Template:FQ/17 October 2005Template:FQ/2005

‏‏‏