# Extreme mathematics

**Extreme Mathematics** (also known as "Mathletics") is a dangerous and highly boring sport/academia activity. It involves performing highly complex mathematics while in a dangerous situation, such as Algebra on Ponies, or Pre-Algebra in the Congo.

The favourite place for this activity is just off the Australian coast, where, using waterproof pen and paper, mathematicians can perform calculations while being chased by sharks. Sharks on jet-skis. ... With freakin' lazer beams...Yeah.

## Origins[edit]

This sport was unintentionally invented by Aristotle in 342 BC. As a young man, Aristotle was interested in the field of mathematics, however he was shunned by all of his peers because they were out killing vampires and cyclopses while he stayed home and did math problems. What a sad life. With no one to listen to his discoveries about circles, he deduced that there was no real point in pursuing his life-long dream of becoming a famous math teacher. So he quit and now everyone in the world is going to be dumb forever. (This didn't actually happen, but we wish it did.)

One day, when one of his buddies asked him mockingly if he wanted to come fight the Loch Ness Monster with the rest of the guys, Aristotle agreed; but he brought his math equipment along. When the group of young Greeks arrived at the beach where the sea monster liked to hang out, they promptly ditched Aristotle, laughing as they ran away under the impression that the Loch Ness Monster was just a myth. A huge beast emerged from the water, and Aristotle was the only piece of meat around. Aristotle could see the flashing red weak spot on the monster's neck, as all big boss bad guys have. He began to calculate the velocity at which he should throw a stone, while at the same time dodging the attacks of the great monster. Finally, he picked up a rock and threw the rock at the proper velocity. It struck the monster exactly in its weak point, and its HP was immediately reduced to 0. All of Aristotle's friends were boggled at the sight of the first-ever recorded presentation of extreme mathematics, and they proclaimed him a "mathlete."

## Extreme Mathematics Today[edit]

Today, the stereotypical mathlete is either a social misfit with no friends, save a TI-92 Deluxe Edition graphing calculator. While Aristotle had to use a compass and a stick to scratch in the dirt, human evolution has led us past the abacus, protractor, and calculus. Modern academic thrill-seekers are left with few choices outside of College and editing websites with little factual merit. Mathematics competitions are highly contested, occasionally featuring cheering sections. Like spelling bees, the BBC and ESPN have featured mathletics as filler programming during long, cold winters.

## Extreme mathematics tricks[edit]

- Doing multiplications with eyes closed, or standing on one's head.
- Insulting people's mothers by doing mathematics: Your mum is so fat that if there was a circle of people with radius xpir^2, she could sit in the middle and sit on everyone.
- Working out the answer to the apple dilemma: If have have 3 apples in my hands and one on my head, and the one on my head gets shot off by an arrow, how many apples do I have in my hands?
- Taking the Physics GRE. No calculators allowed. (Ooops...just contaminated the "content-free" uncyclopedia with "content").

**Mathematicians:**Al Gebra + Augustin-Louis Cauchy + Benoit Mandelbrot + Bernhard Riemann + Blaise Pascal + Isaac Newton =?

**Other People:**Asians + Mathemagicians + Nerds + Osum Bin Adden + Your Math Tutor =?

**Tools:**Abacus + Calculator + Flow chart + Glossary + Graphs + OEIS + Slide rule + Texas Instruments =?

**Algebra:**Equation + How to Divide by Zero + Linear Algebra + Polynomial + Pre-Algebra + Transitive property =?

**Calculus:**∫ + 2 Girls 1 Calculus Equation + Cauchy's theorem + Differential Equations + Integral + Lambda Calculus + Transcendental curve + Vector calculus =?

**Geometry & Topology:**Fractal + Hairy ball theorem + Invisible Geometry + Perfect Square + Tangent + Trigonometry =?

**Logic & Computer Science:**Monty Hall problem + Number Bases + Recursive + Turing test =?

**Numerology:**0 + 0.999... + 9/11 + 1+1 + Twenty + Nillion + Oodles + Infinity + The largest number =?

**Number Theory:**Complex numbers + Fermat's Last Theorem + Fermat's Penultimate Theorem + Fibonacci Sequence + Imaginary Number + Is one a number? + Link theory + Negative Numbers + Odd + Pi + Approximations of pi + Prime number + Rational numbers =?

**Paradoxes:**Achilles and the Tortoise + Fallacy + Pointless Paradox + Shit A Shitter Paradox + White Horses =?

**Physics & Mathy Sciences:**Einstein's Malicious Theories + Fourier Transform + Laws of Physics + Principle of Least Action + Quantum physics =?

**Probability & Statistics:**9 out of 10 + Random Statistics + The Popularity of War =?

**Veggie Maths:**Counting to potato + Negative potato =?

Extreme Ball Association × Extreme Baseball × Extreme Bath Snorkeling × Extreme Beach Chess × Extreme Deep Sea Sky Diving × Extreme Geocaching × Extreme Golf × Extreme Hide and Seek × Extreme Hunting × Extreme Ironing × Extreme Jenga × Extreme Knitting × Extreme mathematics × Extreme Olympics × Extreme Paranormal × Extreme Piano Playing × Extreme Ping-Pong × Extreme programming × Extreme Sarcasm × Extreme Stamp Licking × Extreme Surfing × Extreme Teabagging × Extreme Tiddley-Winks × Extreme Torch Relay × Extreme Twister × Extreme Waterboarding × Extreme Warfare Battleground × Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close