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Donald Trump vs. Joe Biden, billed as Capitol Punishment, was an undisputed president-elect championship boxing match between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. It took place on Tuesday, November 6, 2020, on the South Lawn of the White House in Washington, D.C. The South Lawn was briefly renamed the "Presidential Lawn" for the fight. It sounds fancier.

The fight is often regarded as the biggest moment in American politics history, and arguably the most publicized sporting event of all time. It's estimated that the total viewership for this fight was 3.7 billion. It was the first time two presidents ever fought each other with their fists and not their words.

The bout was highly anticipated by many people all over the globe, including American citizens that were non-sports fans and also weren't into politics.

Biden won in ten rounds by knockout. Trump dealt with the backlash that came from getting his ass beat. The criticism and insults online caused Trump to deactivate all his accounts on social media temporarily. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that your nipples (Pictured) can fall off?

... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?
... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
... that Alaska's principle exports include snow, ice, frozen water, and permafrost?
... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?
... that the White House is really off-white?
... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?

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In the news [edit]

Kim Kardashian gets ready for a facial

Cicely Tyson demolishes Aaron Paul in Netflix boxing match
Project 2025 to be implemented in 2026, riots ensue
The Onion buys InfoWars. Extra true conspiracy theories coming soon!
Epstein pal Trump picks sex pest pedophile as attorney general... and another sexual assaulter as defense secretary
Trump picks Led Zeppelin to lead EPA
Obama smears poop on daycare
Kardashian and Aniston endorse bestiality (Pictured)
UnNews publishes official 2024 post-election guide for liberals having to deal with Trump
Joe Biden named winner of 2024 election, confusion erupts in America
2024 U.S. election cancelled due to absence of electoral votes, anarchy likely to follow
TikToker Peanut the Squirrel swatted, killed for "illegal guns and drugs"

Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • NBA and NHL seasons • Athletes doing the "Trump dance"
Recent deaths: Quincy Jones • The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet • Democrat party • Tony Todd • The Dallas Cowboys' and New York Jets' seasons • Boxing
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • The Chicago Bears' and Cincinnati Bengals' playoff chances • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Coldplay • Joe Biden • Donald Trump

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On this day [edit]

November 21: International Couch Potato Day

1783 - Oprah and Shoobily Boobily ze French Guy had the first untethered hot balls flight.
1847 - The Great Irish Potato Famine reduces the number of Couch Potatoes in Scotland and Ireland by 25%. Tragically, this results in a global Deep-fried Mars Bar recession.
1877 - Thomas Edison announced his invention of the pornograph.
1963 - Lee Harvey Oswald gets laid for the last time.
1996 - Couch Potato Day is established to encourage nations to collectively sit on their asses watching pointless programs at the same time. Scheduled programs for this day included 100 Ways to Watch Paint Dry, and 20 Things You Didn't Know About Carpet.

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