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From today's featured article 

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A student loan is, ostensibly, a financial device utilized to enable aspiring professionals to attend institutions of higher education, even when they lack the funds necessary to pay for their tuition and fees. In reality, student loans are a mechanism for modern day indentured servitude, as thousands of indebted students graduate into a marketplace that is either unable to employ them, or is only able to under-employ them.

The end result is that students are becoming slaves to debt that they cannot discharge in bankruptcy and that will cripple them until the day they die. They will spend their days toiling in coffee shops for minimum wage while going home every day to sleep in their parents' basement, living off of cheap fast food and driving used Honda Civics with hundreds of thousands of miles on the odometer. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
  • ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
  • ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
  • ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
  • ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
  • ... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons?
  • ... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman?

In the news 

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On this day 

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September 27: Being Fooled by Nigerian Scammers Day

  • 1822: Jean-François Champollion announces that he has deciphered the Rosetta stone. It begins, "Dear sir, I am the cousin of the former finance minister of Nigeria, Ngubo Mbobobo..."
  • 1882: Oscar Wilde is notified that he has been selected to receive £24.9 million from persecuted Nigerian businessman Mr. Mboto Nzuzuwawe! All he has to do is telegraph his checking account number!
  • 1942: Adolf Hitler gets scammed out of all of Nazi Germany's tank anti-freeze budget by a Nigerian claiming to need a small sum of money to export his emu stock and giant vast fortunes.
  • 2005: George W. Bush announces a 10,000,000 USD injection into the US economy, after receiving an email from "Dr. David Ngumutumutu" who has all this money from some American guy's Nigerian bank account, who died in a plane crash with the rest of his family.
  • 2010: You go onto Uncyclopedia.org and check what anniversary it is after you paid a Nigerian $500 because he claimed to know the secret of life and that it was on this website.

Picture of the day

1up Soda
 Quenching the thirst of millions of plumbers across the nation, it's the ultimate soda.

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