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From today's featured article
Charlie Kirk was a right-wing political activist, master(de)bater, possessor of the world's largest non-equine set of gums, and penitent God-fearer. He was best known for being a follower of Christ, having a perfectly proportioned smile, and for founding Turning Point USA, a conservative advocacy group which sought to bridge the political divide wrecking our nation by browbeating and clip-farming America's most retarded liberals for social media clout. His viral debate clips garnered tens of millions of views, and his staunch defense of pro-life, pro-gun, and pro-America viewpoints earned him comparisons to the inimitable William F. Buckley Jr., minus the part where he was a closeted homosexual. An ardent supporter of President Donald Trump, he dedicated his life to spreading the Judeo-Christian values of free expression, America First, and branded hat salesmanship. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
- ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers?
- ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
- ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
- …that it’s offensive to call them “black pencils” and we should call them “pencils of colour isntead”?
- ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
- ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
In the news
- Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years
- Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake (Pictured)
- BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children
- Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers
- Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah
- Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland
- Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK
- Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year
- Some mega pop star and her football player boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay.
- NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C.
Recent deaths: Terence Stamp • The Devil's Rejects Unrated 4K Director's Cut • Trump's pet sloth • Joe Burrow's toe • Robert Redford • Baltimore Ravens' morale • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • The Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Windows 10
Upcoming deaths: DEI • R. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • Cowboys', Bengals' and Ravens' season • MSNBC • Lil Nas X • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career and freedom
On this day
October 14: International Hit an Annoying Person in the Head Day
- 1066 - William the Conqueror punches an opposing soldier in the head at the Battle of Hastings.
- 1922 - A man is punched in the head after he uses the elevator to ride a single floor instead of taking the stairs opposite the elevators.
- 1999 - A PC spits a CD out of its CD-ROM drive, hitting Bill Gates in the head. This is the first confirmed instance of artificial intelligence.
- 2003 - George of the Jungle was captured by a nearby tree, which promptly clubbed him in the head. Apparently the tree was meditating when George's distracting collisions occurred.
- 2025 - <insert name here> is brutally hit over the head with clubs for being an Uncyclopedian.
Picture of the day
9-Eleven, a world-wide chain of convenience stores serving the needs of those who seek to overthrow whichever hated oppressor is in vogue at the time, is now owned by a conglomeration of businessmen operating out of Afghanistan for tax purposes. People often call them when they need fat. In a bun. Image credit: FreeMorpheme |
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