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From today's featured article

“ Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. ”

— Oscar Wilde

Click on Oscar Wilde's handsome face to be taken to one of our best articles! Choose the next front page article. Write something funny. Do something pointless today.

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Did you know...

• ... that phone sex operators (Pictured) are not always that hot?

• ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
• ... that the person above me has probably committed a felony?
• ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
• ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
• ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
• ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
• ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news

• Jamie Lee Curtis returning in John Carpenter/Blumhouse Halloween (pictured)

• Meghan Markle to UK: I deepthroat your Prince

• Bullies take Prince lunch, sceptre

• Divine Message sent to UnNews
• Bannon gone, returns to Breitbart

• Trump presidency a dream, Bush in charge

• Trump warns against 'alt-left' and 'Ctrl+alt+del' groups

• Charlottesville: Stop the hate!

• Donald Trump confuses Presidency for Apprentice, fires Scaramucci

• Trump Jr. to make small daily confessions for the next four years

• Letter to the editor: Aliens ate my nephew!

UnNews – Archive – Podcast

On this day...

September 20: Sexual Innuendo Day

• 30,000 BC – Oonak of the Tribe of the Wolf tells Nooma of the People of the Lake that he's got a big, thick woody club back in his cave that he'd love to show her, inventing sexual innuendo.
• 1939 – Second World War declared. Churchill states in his first War-time speech: "We're going to be up against stiff opposition, and what we as a nation will experience in the coming months is going to be long and hard. "
• 1940 – First printing of "Biggles Goes Down".
• 1960 – Oil mining in Alberta, Canada goes wrong, causing the rig to get stuck pumping farther and farther into the hole while the rich liquid spewed out.
• 2005 – Israel pulls out of Palestine.

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Today's featured picture

And they said it couldn't be done. Image Credit: Tom mayfair Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Featured today a long time ago

Extreme Beach Chess, featured on 20 September 2015. See the featured version.
Cafeteria food, featured on 20 September 2013. See the featured version.
Rock and Roll (food), featured on 20 September 2012. See the featured version.
2 Girls 1 Calculus Equation, featured on 20 September 2011. See the featured version.

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	UnNews The news source on crack		Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia		Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid		UnTunes Where noisy things can live and prosper
	Games Another way to waste time		HowTo Instructions and guides for anything and everything		UnBooks Content-free books		Unquotable Useless misquotes galore
	Uncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it		UnPoetia Poetry for people who hate poetry		UnDebate Debating all the irrelevant issues		UnScripts We can ruin stage and film too
	Why? Don't make me explain it to you twice		UnReviews We'll tell you why things suck		UnCommons Broken media repository		UnVoyage Content-free worldwide travel guide