Protected page

Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

From today's featured article 

Blacksoldiers.jpeg

Jimmy Blackman is widely regarded as being tied for being the greatest man, tied with his brother, Jimmy Mozzarella. Enlisted in the Marine Corps at the age of three, he retired, obtained every medal, and became a professional bank robber in the Mozzarella crime family.

Jimmy Blackman was born on December 6, 1969. Born out of a can of beans, he was the only member of the Jimmy family to come out of the can of beans fully grown. At the age of three, Jimmy decided to enlist in the U.S Marine Corps. Blackman was quickly rising through the ranks until he became the General of the Military at the age of six. Deployed in Vietnam, he, just like his brother, fought in the Vietnam War. Except, Blackman fought every single battle in Vietnam. How? Who knows, it's Jimmy Blackman, he can do anything. Jimmy was severely injured in the Hue-Da Nang Campaign, due to an accidental explosion of white phosphorus. However, he remained in the hospital for only three hours before he returned to battle, making mince meat of the Vietcong soldiers. Months later, Blackman stole a shit load of white phosphorus and immediately launched it on unsuspecting civilians. Hilarious! (Full article...)

Did you know... 

Logic.jpg
  • ... that in 1933, the Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
  • ... that there is one imposter among us?
  • ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
  • ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
  • ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny?
  • ... that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation?
  • ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?

In the news 

On this day 

"You've been blocked!"

November 30: Vandalize Wikipedia Day!

Picture of the day

American Imperialism
Though the United States' new strategy in Iraq has proven effective at routing insurgent rebels, it has done little to relieve the stigma of what many perceive as American imperialism.

Image credit: Thetoastman
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Other areas of Uncyclopedia

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 37,155 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.