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From today's featured article
Fuck Around and Find Out, often abbreviated to FAFO, is a philosophy often used by parents, teachers and scholars worldwide to explain why a person may suddenly find out they have a boot solidly lodged 14 inches into their rectum. It is mainly used on children whose sense of entitlement and petulance has reached a breaking point and their parents feel that talking won't work and grounding will make fuck all of a difference. The kid fucked around, the kid then found out. They didn't quite realize they were finding out right away because before awareness of said boot up their ass sent in, their head was being whacked so hard by rolled up newspaper their brain shifted and the boot in anus processed 0.5 seconds later. Eventually they all find out, even if it is delayed by a minor concussion. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured)
- ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
- ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
- ... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?"
- ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?
- ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
- ... that Alaska's principle exports include snow, ice, frozen water, and permafrost?
- ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
In the news
- Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches! (Pictured)
- ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America
- North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island
- Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up."
- 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong
- Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth"
- The New York Yankees now fucking suck
- Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes
- Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs
- Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter
- The UK to ban the resale of tickets
- Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not?
- Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents"
- Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd
- Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues
- Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Pats fans accusing NFL refs of kissing the Bills' asses • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirement
Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff • Warner Bros. • Sheen Estevez • Chet Ubetcha • Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Patrick Mahomes' ACL and the Kansas City Chiefs' season • Rob Reiner.
Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Dallas Cowboys' and Indianapolis Colts' season • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard • Dick van Dyke, eventually
On this day
December 16: Fun With Typos Day
- 785 - The Knights of the Round Tablet go in search of the Holy Grail. They fail to exit the bottle, which is child-proofed.
- 1453 - The Hundred Rear War ends after the French agree to stop mooning British monarchs.
- 1982 - South Africa ends its fan on interracial marriages, replaces it with an air conditioner.
- 1983 - United Airlines Pilots go on trike for twenty-nine days, are later treated for head injuries after not wearing their helmets.
- 1985 - In Ukraine, one of the reactors at the Chernobyl Unclear Plant explodes, disaster blamed on lack of transparency.
- 1986 - The Soviet Union launches the Bir space station. Vodka distillers complain.
Picture of the day
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Popular childrens' game involving cocaine. The "I'm a Romanian immigrant snorting myself to death" version will be available in stores in the near future. Image credit: Freebasser |
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