Water

100% liquid air

“What are you guys talking about, we aren’t poisoning the water. Maybe you’re just drinking it wrong.”

~ FBI

“It’s RAW! But Moist.”

~ Gordon Ramsay

Water is one of, if not the most, highly addictive drugs known to man. More than 99.9% of the entire world population have admitted to solely depend on water on a daily basis, arguing that they would fucking die were they deprived from this product. Scientists have shown that not giving a baby water will kill them, showing how the entire human species has become completely dependent on this substance.

Chemistry

Water is composed of a molecule known as dihydrogen monoxide, a highly corrosive substance. Dihydrogen monoxide is abundant in Earth's atmosphere and oceans, which can lead to mass extinction. One possible way to avoid consuming dihydrogen monoxide is to not drink anything at all, and that helps your life be happier as you do not have to go through the misery of school and work. Plus, it is also the main component of acid rain, which can kill a human immediately.

Water is often consumed from containers known as "glasses".

Symptoms

Symptoms of ingesting water may include, but are not limited to:

• Suffocation. Inhalation of water in profuse quantities has been documented to be the cause of drowning of thousands, if not millions, of people.
• Addiction. Water possesses many psychedelic properties, and is thus used in many hospitals and before sporting events.
• Stupidity. If someone is performing a stupid action, such as reading/editing/making up articles, they have likely ingested fatal amounts of liquid water.

Legality

Despite water's many known dangers, it is still consumed by many around the globe, blatantly ignoring said dangers. Many water companies have lobbied governments in order to keep their businesses, to the point where several countries have pushed propaganda-filled documents in which water is listed as one of the most necessary substances for the human body.

Fortunately, not every country endorses this dangerous practice. Countless governments in Africa have refused to dispense water to their citizens in order to stop this epidemic, and as a result, Africans are no longer indulging in water-induced addiction. However, this hasn't stopped the water business from entering these countries, which have formed several organizations with the aim of bringing water to helpless villages and getting them hooked on this addictive drug.

See also

• Phonics
• Weed
• Drug addiction
• Piss

Greek Periodic Table of Elements:  You wish studying the Periodic Table was this easy, dont'cha?

-2H Holiness

-1Ev Evilness

0Fl Fluffiness

1F Fire

2E Earth

3Wa Water

4Wi Wind

5A Aether