Water
“What are you guys talking about, we aren't poisoning the water. Maybe you're just drinking it wrong.”
“It’s RAW!”
Water is one of, if not the, most highly addictive drugs known to man. More than 99% of the entire world population have admitted to solely depend on water on a daily basis, argumenting that they would most likely die were they deprived from this product. Scientists have shown that not giving a baby water will kill them, showing how the entire human species has become completely dependant on this substance.
Chemistry[edit | edit source]
Water is composed of a molecule known as dihydrogen monoxide, a highly corrosive substance. Dihydrogen monoxide is abundant in Earth's atmosphere and oceans, which can lead to mass extinction. One possible way to avoid consuming dihydrogen monoxide is to not drink anything at all, and that helps your life be happier as you do not have to go through the misery of school and work. Plus, it is also the main component of acid rain, which can kill a human immediately.
Symptoms[edit | edit source]
Symptoms of ingesting water may include, but are not limited to:
- Suffocation. Inhalation of water in profuse quantities has been documented to be the cause of drowning of thousands, if not millions, of people.
- Addiction. Water possesses many psychedelic properties, and is thus used in many hospitals and before sporting events.
- Stupidity. If someone is performing a stupid action, such as reading/editing/making up articles, they have likely ingested fatal amounts of liquid water.
Legality[edit | edit source]
Despite water's many known dangers, it is still consumed by many around the globe, blatantly ignoring said dangers. Many water companies have lobbied governments in order to keep their businesses, to the point where several countries have pushed propaganda-filled documents in which water is listed as one of the most necessary substenances for the human body.
Fortunately, not every country endorses this dangerous practice. Countless governments in Africa have refused to dispense water to their citizens in order to stop this epidemic, and as a result, Africans are no longer indulging in water-induced addiction. However, this hasn't stopped the water business from entering these countries, which have formed several organizations with the aim of bringing water to helpless villages and getting them hooked on this addictive drug.
See also[edit | edit source]
Liquid ~ Alcohol ~ Drinking games ~ Hyperdrinking
Artificial Fruit Juice Alternative ~ Arizona Iced Tea ~ Blood ~ Breast milk ~ Chocolate milk ~ Champagne ~ Capri Sun ~ Cider ~ Coffee ~ Cocktail ~ Coke ~ Cthulhu Tequila ~ Cum ~ Dr. Pepper ~ English beer ~ Frappe ~ Frog Semen ~ Gatorade ~ Gin ~ Glass ~ Guinness ~ Grape drink ~ Ginger ale ~ Grimace Shake ~ Irn-Bru ~ Jack Daniel's ~ Juice ~ Karsk ~ Leninade ~ Milk ~ Missing milk ~ Mocha ~ Mountain Dew ~ Powerthirst ~ Slurpee ~ Soda ~ Orange juice ~ Pee ~ RC Cola ~ Red Bull ~ Rum ~ Soy milk ~ Spilt milk ~ Sunny D ~ Tea ~ Tequila ~ Truthful Vending GmbH ~ Ţuică ~ Whisky ~ Wine ~ Water ~ Russian water ~ More...
