Fantastik Flavored Hallucinogenic Ham with Uranium Seasoning
Now that you have the required ingredients and the proper gear, let's go!
Hello, ladies and gentlemen! I hope you are doing fine since our last week rendez-vous
, when we cooked the pickle-stuffed turkey with amber paint sauce
. Today, we are going to prepare a delicacy that has been passed on for generations in my family
since my great-grandmother, a gypsy and always typsy refugee, invented it in 1923. As is the case with all amazing discoveries, this came about as a result of both sheer luck and bad timing. It was later improved by my grandfather Yuri Larionov, who was a leading USSR
scientist employed at the Chernobyl
nuclear plant when an inauspicious work incident forced him into retirement. He then had ample time to improve the family recipe book with his lone remaining arm and deeply fried brain
. Anyway! Enough babbling, let's get on our way, shall we? My mouth is already producing radioactive secretions. (more...)
Suspect Sought in Meatball Misadventure
Crime scene reconstruction...
SMITHVILLE, Arkansas - Residents of Smithville, a sleepy hamlet with a population of just over one hundred, are shocked and aghast after a simple meal went horribly, terribly wrong. The dinner, consisting of spaghetti, tossed salad, onion rolls and fresh-squeezed apple juice, was interrupted by an act that shocked and aghasted the family gathered around the family dinner table for a hearty family meal. A meal for dinner. A dinner of spaghetti. Spaghetti and meatball.
"I was just about to dig in to my pusghetti when it happened." said little Cindy Newnan, the youngest child of the Newnan family... (more...)