Portal:Culinary
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Culinary Portal We make Julia Child look like Julia Louis-Dreyfus. CATEGORIES: Bread and Pasta - Candy - Cannibalism - Cereals - Cheese - Chicken - Chocolate - Cooking - Condiments - Cuisine - Desserts - Drink - Eggs - Fast Food - Featured Articles - Food Images - Fruit - Kitchen Implements - Meat - Mushrooms - Pie - Poop Cuisine - Recipes - Restaurants - Snack Foods - Things You Can Eat - Vegetables - All... |
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I'm not sure you even understand the concept of estimating. When you estimate, you're supposed to make an educated guess based on prior experience. You are not supposed to select a completely random number of any size and run with it.
I guess you've learned your lesson. But let's just take a moment to run through all the clues you had that you are a poor estimator.
The microwave beeped the instant you hit start. In retrospect, I'm sure you would agree that it was not reasonable to believe that your lasagna would be warm within one ten-thousandths of a second. (more...)
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CLEVELAND, OHIO - Hi, I'm not trying to seem like a prude here, but I would really appreciate if you stopped everything you have been doing with my daughter. Look, I get it. You are a chef at one of these fun, hip Japanese Steakhouses. It is your job to somehow cook a gourmet meal while also being the night's entertainment. You started off so well, but, ah, what can I say? You're starting to make me a little uncomfortable. No offense.
So, look, I've been to one of these places before. I kind of know most of the tricks they teach you in whatever hibachi grill school that you all must have attended at some time. It is my daughter's first time at one of these places, however, and I don't want her to get the wrong idea. (more...)
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The rutabaga is an alleged vegetable that began life as a cross between a cabbage and a turnip, much like the mule is a cross between a horse and a donkey. Unlike Rutabagas, all mules are good for is... hmmm... Well anyway, if you wanted to learn about rutabagas from an expert you came to the right place. If you wanted to learn about the bright side of rutabagas, look out: They suck, and there is no bright side to them.
Much of the history of rutabagas has been lost in a shroud of disinterest. Fortunately, some facts remain... (more...)
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Culinary Index
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7-Up ~ Cola ~ Cream Soda ~ Cum in a Can ~ Dr. Pepper ~ Frog Semen ~ Ginger Ale ~ Jolt Cola ~ Mountain Dew ~ Orange Soda ~ Juice Alternative ~ RC Cola ~ Red Bull
COKE: Coca-Cola ~ Coca Cola ~ Coca-Cola 600 ~ Coca-Cola Duck ~ Coke Zero ~ Cokeman ~ Diet Coke ~ Glaceau ~ Real Coca-Cola ~ Turkey Coca Cola
RELATED ARTICLES: Cola Wars ~ Fecal E.Coli ~ Italian Soda ~ Pop Bomb ~ Pop v. Soda ~ Soda Bread Bombs ~ Soda Jerk ~ Soda Siphon ~ Sojourn to a Soda Machine
SODA NEWS: Coca Cola Outraged ~ Coca-Cola Gets Sued ~ Coca-Cola Recycles ~ Coco Cola Sponsors Painting ~ Fat Kid Drinks Caffeine ~ Throwback Throwback ~ US Allows Coke on Planes
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Stimulants |
Banana | Cherry | Cranberry | Dole Apples | Fig | Grape | Kiwi | Lemon | Mango | Orange | Orange Soda | Pineapple | Tomato |
Depressants |
Coconut | Cucumber | Date | Grape Drink | Lime | Limón | Olive | Orange Juice | Pear | Tomato | Valencia Grapes |
Psychedelics |
Anti-Orange | Apple Juice | Avocado | Durian | Grapefruit | Guava | Peach | Raspberry | Strawberry | Watermelon |
Commonly Mistaken for Fruit |
Agent Orange | Apple | Clementine Attlee | Don Cherry | Cocomelon | Fruits Basket | Lychee | No Cucumbers | Orange Sherbet | Orangology | Order of the Communist Pear | Peaches Geldof | Piña Coladatown | "Pineapples of Wrath"? | Pineapple Titties | Sir Humphrey Watermelon | Strawberry Fields | Talking Pear | The Annoying Orange |
Bacon Products | |
Bacon | Bacon fat | Bacon Shrub | Choco-Butter-Cheez-Bac'n Pops | Pork Products | Pigs | |
People Named Bacon | |
Richard Bacon | Kevin Bacon | |
All things Bacon | |
Bacon's Rebellion | Bacon and Cheese Sandwich of 1905 | BLT |
All Things Sausage |
Bologna - Borscht - Fish Wangers - Hot dog - Hotdog - Salami - Sausage - Sausage Butty Batter Nugget
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Other Sausage Related Things |
• • I T A L Y • • |
Places |
Roma • Venezia • Firenze • Bologna • Kingdom of the Two Sicilies • Pisa • Vatican City • Paneveggio • Grimsby • Portofino |
People |
Mussolini • Berlusconi • da Vinci • Machiavelli • Michelangelo • Corleone • Vespucci • Boyardee |
Gastronomy |
Pizza • Pasta • Alfredo • Spaghetti • Worms • Genitalia |
Big Candy |
Haribo • M&M's • Mentos • Peeps • Pop-Tarts • Skittles • Smarties • SweeTarts • Tootsie Rolls • Twinkies • Werthers |
Candy Land |
ABC Gum • Bubble Gum • Candy Corn • Candy Cane • Cotton Candy • Gingerbread Men • Gummi bear • Jelly beans • Marshmallows • Nougat |
Airplane peanuts • Animal Cracker • Chips • Fries • Funyuns • Popcorn • Potato Chip • Pringles • Ritz Bits • Tater Tots |
Burnt Fries • Fear Mints • Get Your Candy Back • Potato Chip Situation • Strange Candy |
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Alfred Packer • Baby Eating • Baby farming • Baby food • Baby meat • Cannibal Corpse • Cannibalism • Cannibals • Celebrity Roast • Communion • Cunnilingus • Dinner Party • Fellatio • Fishing For Children • Flying Purple People Eater • G-Rex • Hannibal Lecter • HowTo Cook A Human • HowTo Cook Children • HowTo Cook A Fetus • Human head • I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green • McDahmer's • Meaty Amin • Mike Tyson • Nazi Eating • Recipes • Supergirl • Sweeney Todd • Uncle John's Fetus Burgers and Abortion Clinic •UnNews Cannibalism becoming increasingly popular • UnNews Cannibals Stopped • UnNews New TV Trend • UnNews Soylent Green Defamation • Why? Don't Be A Cannibal • Vore • Why? Eat People • Zombies |
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