Portal:Technology

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This is a magic box full of pixies that can do simple things like huffing kittens, performing mathematical operations (not real ones), and composing essays in piglatin. The technology contained hereign has been likened to an epic game of Monopoly that sucks the user into addictive habitual behaviors. Once the user is exposed to teh internets and its wealth of hallucinogenic properties, the user is converted into an insomniac, craving more and more technology to sate their addiction. Addicts can be identified by restlessness when not in contact with a computer, the compulsive urge to turn a computer on as soon as they are conscious, excessive usage of technobabble, and often basking in the warm glow of an oversized monitor at four-six a.m. in the morning, bleary-eyed and craving coffee, still wishing to engage in acts such as browsing Reddit forums, shopping on EBay, editing Uncyclopedia articles and other useless cyber activities, all while watching a movie on DVD and listening to an MP3 player in one headphone - despite obvious signs of fatigue. Users are also known to take apart their remote controls and have at least 2 pairs of wire strippers, along with at least 4 different colors of electrical tape...
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Highlighted Article

File:Wife OS 2.jpg
Version 2
Welcome to the Wife Operating System online handbook.

Currently we are experiencing technical difficulties (ie. the Boss is watching), our IT department will upload the manuals of Wife OS asap!!

Wife OS is an operating system.

Wife OS versions

Versions by date of install

  • This can be checked by examining the signed "Marriage Certification" document. The version date will be listed as Marriage Date.
  • pre- 1959 - Most durable versions. Capable of taking a lot of crap without need of reset. Also includes largest self-auto-fix-tools set (not included in later versions).
  • 1960 - 1969 - Large degree of variability, highly dependent on Wife manufacturer as to which Wife OS was installed. (no manuals available, too many versions undocumented)  (more...)
Article Credit: Hawthorn Peebles View All
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Highlighted Image

How To Beat Jet Lag
It's better if you eat the donut than try to travel through it.
Image Credit: Funnybony
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Did You Know...

 over 6,000 new computer viruses are released every month?
 over 6,000 new computer viruses are released every month?
 you spend too much time on your cell phone?
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Quote of the Day

“If we keep putting great products in front of customers, they will continue to open their wallets.”

~ Steve Jobs on Apple
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Highlighted Biography

File:Karlstallman.gif
Circa 1889

Richard Malodorous Stallman (born March 16, 1953), also known as "rms", "GNU/Stallman", 'Richard M. Stalin' and sometimes Karl Marx, is the author and most prominent proponent of the Grand Unified Theory of Free & Accessible Technology (GUTFAT), and the founder of the GNU. GNU is a clever and descriptive but decidedly non-recursive acronym standing for Generally Not Used.

Essentially, rms's theory states that it is more important for software to be free than to be usable. In later years he became the spokesperson for other freedom movements including free love, free Tibet, and free Whopper® with the purchase of a Whopper Ultra Value Meal®—for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary.  (more...)

Article Credit: Todd Lyons View All
EPROM.png Your Uncyclopedia Guide to Really Modern Computing
AssemblerCTRL-ALT-DELFloppy diskMS-UNOMS-DOSFORTRAN
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Technology Spotlight

File:DvdaGraphic.jpg
A good way to cram in as much as possible.
DVD-Audio (commonly abbreviated as DVD-A; also known as "Double the Video, Double the Audio") is an optical disc storage media format that can be used for audio, video and data storage. DVDAs resemble compact discs but use two holes rather than one.

History

During the early 2000s, incredibly long movies such as "Lord of the Rings: The Two Four Hours" exceeded the storage space available on conventional DVDs by about two times. This surplus of data led many small teams of researchers (generally working in groups of five) to experiment with new ways to get more in.

Double-sided DVDs solved this problem by having two tracks (and double the capacity of a normal DVD), and storing one track per side.  (more...)

Article Credit: Huffers View All
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Technology Index