Portal:Technology

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Technology portal

Code Monkey's favorite page for computing, gadgets and machinations.

This is a magic box full of pixies that can do simple things like huffing kittens, performing mathematical operations (not real ones), and composing essays in piglatin. The technology contained hereign has been likened to an epic game of Scrabble that sucks the user into addictive habitual behaviors. Once the user is exposed to teh internets and its wealth of hallucinogenic properties, the user is converted into an insomniac, craving more and more technology to sate their addiction. Addicts can be identified by restlessness when not in contact with a computer, the compulsive urge to turn a computer on as soon as they are conscious, excessive usage of technobabble, and often basking in the warm glow of an oversized monitor at four-six a.m. in the morning, bleary-eyed and craving coffee, still wishing to engage in acts such as browsing Reddit forums, shopping on EBay, editing Uncyclopedia articles and other useless cyber activities, all while watching a movie on DVD and listening to an MP3 player in one headphone - despite obvious signs of fatigue. Users are also known to take apart their remote controls and have at least 2 pairs of wire strippers, along with at least 4 different colors of electrical tape...
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Highlighted Article

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Petronas Towers, in all their glory
The multinational corporation Samsung Group announced today that they have built the tallest building in the world for the third time. The building, Burj Dubai, built in the oil rich nation of The United Arab Emirates in it's largest city, Dubai, topped out at 818 m (2,684 ft) on September 21, 2009. The Burj Dubai now holds the record for tallest building in the world. This comes as no surprise to the builder and funder, Samsung, for they have held the world record tallest building for the last two projects that they worked on.

However amazing these feats may be, researcher John Patterson believes the South Korean company is really just compensating for something... (more...)

Article Credit: MurroughOBrien View All
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Blue Screen of Death
It's better than a frozen DOS prompt.
Image Credit: Uyabba
Nominate Stuff View All Images
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Did You Know...

… Apple originally designed an apple shaped flip phone?
… the QWERTY keyboard was designed to slow down your typing speed?
… the first handheld mobile phone was a Motorola?
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Quote of the Day

Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window. 
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Lazer Not Charged – Firing Aborted
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Highlighted Biography

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Rohe, with his 1935 Munchen Ant Farm and Municipal City Center.

Ludwig Mies "Vander" Rohe (German for Ludwig Evil Of The Brutality) (March 27, 1886 – August 17, 1969) was a German (or possibly Austrian) fellow who reinvented architecture in the early-to-mid-20th century by creating buildings that looked like big glass cereal boxes.

Origins

Rohe grew up in a small suburban town in the southwest of Germany (or possibly Denmark). His father, Emilio Rohe, is widely credited with inventing the elevator call button-- before him, people had to shout what floor they wanted very loud and hope that someone already inside the elevator would come down to get them. His mother, Mikembe Rohe, died in a tragic blimp accident when Ludwig was three. As a result, Rohe was raised believing that he was pooped out by a pterodactyl... (more...)

Article Credit: MadMax View All
Modern Computing 1985
 ( v · t · e ) 
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Technology Spotlight

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A good way to cram in as much as possible.
DVD-Audio (commonly abbreviated as DVD-A; also known as "Double the Video, Double the Audio") is an optical disc storage media format that can be used for audio, video and data storage. DVDAs resemble compact discs but use two holes rather than one.

History

During the early 2000s, incredibly long movies such as "Lord of the Rings: The Two Four Hours" exceeded the storage space available on conventional DVDs by about two times. This surplus of data led many small teams of researchers (generally working in groups of five) to experiment with new ways to get more in.

Double-sided DVDs solved this problem by having two tracks (and double the capacity of a normal DVD), and storing one track per side(more...)

Article Credit: Huffers View All
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Technology Index

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