Portal:Technology

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Technology portal
Code Monkey's favorite page for computing, gadgets and machinations.
This is a magic box full of pixies that can do simple things like huffing kittens, performing mathematical operations (not real ones), and composing essays in piglatin. The technology contained hereign has been likened to an epic game of Twister that sucks the user into addictive habitual behaviors. Once the user is exposed to teh internets and its wealth of hallucinogenic properties, the user is converted into an insomniac, craving more and more technology to sate their addiction. Addicts can be identified by restlessness when not in contact with a computer, the compulsive urge to turn a computer on as soon as they are conscious, excessive usage of technobabble, and often basking in the warm glow of an oversized monitor at four-six a.m. in the morning, bleary-eyed and craving coffee, still wishing to engage in acts such as browsing Reddit forums, shopping on EBay, editing Uncyclopedia articles and other useless cyber activities, all while watching a movie on DVD and listening to an MP3 player in one headphone - despite obvious signs of fatigue. Users are also known to take apart their remote controls and have at least 2 pairs of wire strippers, along with at least 4 different colors of electrical tape...
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Highlighted Article

Wife OS 2.jpg
Version 2
Welcome to the Wife Operating System online handbook.

Currently we are experiencing technical difficulties (ie. the Boss is watching), our IT department will upload the manuals of Wife OS asap!!

Wife OS is an operating system.

Wife OS versions

Versions by date of install

  • This can be checked by examining the signed "Marriage Certification" document. The version date will be listed as Marriage Date.
  • pre- 1959 - Most durable versions. Capable of taking a lot of crap without need of reset. Also includes largest self-auto-fix-tools set (not included in later versions).
  • 1960 - 1969 - Large degree of variability, highly dependent on Wife manufacturer as to which Wife OS was installed. (no manuals available, too many versions undocumented) (more...)
Article Credit: Hawthorn Peebles View All
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Quintessential Russian propaganda poster from early 2002.
Image Credit: Borrell
Nominate Stuff View All Images
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Did You Know...

 Monty Python was responsible for naming junk e-mail Spam?
 Nokia used to sell toilet paper?
 the QWERTY keyboard was designed to slow down your typing speed?
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Quote of the Day

Simplicity is often overrated when it comes to technology. 
– Brian Reed on comic book illustrations
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Highlighted Biography

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Circa 1889

Richard Malodorous Stallman (born March 16, 1953), also known as "rms", "GNU/Stallman", 'Richard M. Stalin' and sometimes Karl Marx, is the author and most prominent proponent of the Grand Unified Theory of Free & Accessible Technology (GUTFAT), and the founder of the GNU. GNU is a clever and descriptive but decidedly non-recursive acronym standing for Generally Not Used.

Essentially, rms's theory states that it is more important for software to be free than to be usable. In later years he became the spokesperson for other freedom movements including free love, free Tibet, and free Whopper® with the purchase of a Whopper Ultra Value Meal®—for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. (more...)

Article Credit: Todd Lyons View All
Modern Computing 1985
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Technology Spotlight

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The user-friendly touch-screen interface...
The Poopenheimer Mainframe Mk XII Computer is known as the first ever computer on earth. Legend has it that Julius Caesar and his friend Brutus dropped out of Rome University about 90 BC to pursue their dream of becoming icons in the technology industry. They worked and they worked, meeting many failures. The Poopenheimer Mainframe Mk versions I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, VIV, X, and XI all had major flaws. However, they believed they had a breakthrough with XII.

Inspiration Strikes

One day, while working in their dark downtown Rome apartment, Caesar had a sudden idea.

"Great Brutus, shall we instead of basing our code on the Socratic Method/base it on that which hath preceded: the Altair 8800!" (more...)

Article Credit: Savethemooses View All
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Technology Index


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