Portal:Technology

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Information technology is a relatively new concept created by Walkers Crisps. It was developed during the early stages of a campaign to raise the sales of the failing crisp company. At the time, a back office clerk named Derek came up with the idea of "it", however soon after Derek had created the idea, it was outsourced to India, and Derek lost his job. (Full article...)
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Look at yourself for a moment. You're in that chatroom. Internet Explorer is running in the background. In today's modern world, you need to be l337. Really l337. Close that browser window. You're better than this. Take out that trusty handbook. With Uncyclopedia's Official Guide to Choosing a Web Browser, you will become l337 in just 13 minutes 37 seconds, guaranteed!

Firefox - l33t p0in75: 1337

Pros:

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Blue Screen of Death

It's better than a frozen DOS prompt.

Nominate stuff Image credit: Uyabba Image archive
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Did You Know...

 the first handheld mobile phone was a Motorola?
 the first alarm clock could only go off at 4am?
 X-Y Position Indicator for Display Systems was the name of the first mouse?
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Quote of the Day

“It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.”

~ Albert Einstein on the atomic bomb
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Highlighted Biography

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Steve and Steve peddling their wares.

Stephen Gary Bozniak Wozniak, known as the "Wizard of Woz", is a magical garden gnome with curiously large nostrils who, along with Steve Jobs, is credited with creating the first personal computer, although his expertise really lies in the art of carpet sculpting.

Early Life

Steve Wozniak was born to a family of Keebler Elves, but he hated cookies and biscuit crackers because of his diabetes. Although it was short-lived, in his early teenage years he was inspired to run away from home after watching the movie Pinocchio, but his family eventually convinced him to stay home and pursue his interest in puppets and animatronics through education. After high school, he enrolled in Wyotech vocational school, but later dropped out to follow the Grateful Dead as a Jerry Garcia look-alike.…

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Technology Spotlight

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The secret formula for CDs.

The modern Compact Disc (also known as a CD) was first invented by Atlantian priest/scientists prior to Noah's flood. Due to their super advanced mumbo jumbo no one was able to understand the significance of CDs until the mid 1430's when the Evil Ming the Merciless used his secret decoder ring to translate certain Egyptian texts found inside the Great Pyramid (rumored to be a primitive fast food restaurant built by the Atlantians, but in fact the Great Pyramid was originally constructed by aliens from planet Paris25 as a way to keep their razor blades sharp, the Atlantians later modified it for fast food purposes, thus allowing the first ninja to deliver burgers to the ancient Babylonians. The secrets of the ninja/Atlantian alliance have yet to be fully probed).…

Archive Article credit: LeeHarveyKennedy (more…)



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