Portal:Technology

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Technology portal
Code Monkey's favorite page for computing, gadgets and machinations.
This is a magic box full of pixies that can do simple things like huffing kittens, performing mathematical operations (not real ones), and composing essays in piglatin. The technology contained hereign has been likened to an epic game of Ping Pong that sucks the user into addictive habitual behaviors. Once the user is exposed to teh internets and its wealth of hallucinogenic properties, the user is converted into an insomniac, craving more and more technology to sate their addiction. Addicts can be identified by restlessness when not in contact with a computer, the compulsive urge to turn a computer on as soon as they are conscious, excessive usage of technobabble, and often basking in the warm glow of an oversized monitor at four-six a.m. in the morning, bleary-eyed and craving coffee, still wishing to engage in acts such as browsing Reddit forums, shopping on EBay, editing Uncyclopedia articles and other useless cyber activities, all while watching a movie on DVD and listening to an MP3 player in one headphone - despite obvious signs of fatigue. Users are also known to take apart their remote controls and have at least 2 pairs of wire strippers, along with at least 4 different colors of electrical tape...
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File:Petronas-towers.jpg
Petronas Towers, in all their glory
The multinational corporation Samsung Group announced today that they have built the tallest building in the world for the third time. The building, Burj Dubai, built in the oil rich nation of The United Arab Emirates in it's largest city, Dubai, topped out at 818 m (2,684 ft) on September 21, 2009. The Burj Dubai now holds the record for tallest building in the world. This comes as no surprise to the builder and funder, Samsung, for they have held the world record tallest building for the last two projects that they worked on.

However amazing these feats may be, researcher John Patterson believes the South Korean company is really just compensating for something...  (more...)

Article Credit: MurroughOBrien View All
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Blue Screen of Death
It's better than a frozen DOS prompt.
Image Credit: Uyabba
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Did You Know...

 Google's first tweet was in binary?
 Google's first tweet was in binary?
 X-Y Position Indicator for Display Systems was the name of the first mouse?
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Quote of the Day

Bitcoin prices seem a bit high. 
– Elon Musk on Tesla purchasing over 1.5 billion dollars of cryptocurrency
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Highlighted Biography

File:Karlstallman.gif
Circa 1889

Richard Malodorous Stallman (born March 16, 1953), also known as "rms", "GNU/Stallman", 'Richard M. Stalin' and sometimes Karl Marx, is the author and most prominent proponent of the Grand Unified Theory of Free & Accessible Technology (GUTFAT), and the founder of the GNU. GNU is a clever and descriptive but decidedly non-recursive acronym standing for Generally Not Used.

Essentially, rms's theory states that it is more important for software to be free than to be usable. In later years he became the spokesperson for other freedom movements including free love, free Tibet, and free Whopper® with the purchase of a Whopper Ultra Value Meal®—for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary.  (more...)

Article Credit: Todd Lyons View All
Modern Computing 1985
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Technology Spotlight

File:Canadarm.jpg
Space Shuttles are large vehicles run by NASA that typically travel between the Earth and extraplanetary destinations like the Moon, Alpha Centauri, diverse areas of Texas and thus Hell. Widely viewed as the safest and most comfortable way to travel to any of those destinations, they have developed a cult following, being mimicked by such fictional television characters as Captain Kirk, Buck Rogers, and Ronald Reagan. The Shuttle system as a whole consists of three components: the orbiter (right) which carries people and cargo; the external tank, which holds an extra supply of coal for the shuttle to use during lift-off; and the SRBs (Smelly, Reeking Bums). Space shuttles fly regular missions from Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, sometimes at a rate of two or three per week.  (more...)
Article Credit: Rei View All
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Technology Index


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