Portal:Business

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Business & Economics Portal
Star Wars empire currency.jpg

Money is the means by which anthropologically weaker people exert power over the strong. It has mysterious origins; however, modern economic structures have originated chiefly out of the West, as the East's values have strayed towards Collectivism. Money is seen as the symbol of status and showing you have affluence through consumption is the goal of modern life in the Free World.

The medium has always been thought of as a system of control. It isn't– it's a system of self-enforced enslavement as most people are too lazy to be bothered doing anything else. The activity of acquiring money such as employment is the main goal in life after adolescence as personal fulfillment dwindles and the pressure of society increases. Here money is pivotal in gauging personal success. Money was once dominated by men, who were seen as providers; however, women and children are increasingly taking part in the acquisition of money. (See more...)

Featured Article
The Market speaks to those who listen...

The Hillyard & Brickman Corporation is a dynamic young company founded in 2002 with one central goal for the 20th century: Excellence through Synergy, and Capital through Innovation™. Leading the field in cutting-edge market endeavors that enhance consumerism and inversely decrease domestic quality of life, mankind is already benefiting greatly from the ingenuity and completely ethical practices of the company that employees affectionately refer to as "The Company".

Several prominent, prestigious and highly televised media outlets have even suggested that Hillyard & Brickman is in fact one of the world's most global leaders, internationally championing production of net happiness for all consumers great and small, and greatly streamlining the subsequent distribution of said product to all ports of call. In simple terms, Hillyard & Brickman is a company that works for you. How could that possibly be evil? (See more...)

Featured Image
Bust5.gif
Hardee's Burgers: Fresh out of the Deep Fryer!™
Image by Nikau
Business News
CouchPotato.JPG

NAPERVILLE, Illinois – After two hours of skilled persuasion, the infomercial for Buck Johnson's Xtreme Home Gym Ab Workout System finally convinced local resident Mark Taylor to pick up his phone and dial their toll free number.

"It was a long process," said Taylor after completing the order, "I probably wouldn't have watched the infomercial anyway, but the remote was on the other side of the couch and I didn't want to move. Then it began to suck me in with the offerings of a six pack, the kind all the ladies like... suddenly, I knew this was the expensive mail-order home gym for me."

Taylor continued to describe the commercial in depth, carefully outlining the vital decision making process. "At first, I was less than impressed," he explained, carefully choosing his words. "To be honest, it was just like a lot of other infomercials I've seen for similar products. Frankly, it was a little bit derivative of the Bill Hammond Workout System commercial, which is one of my all-time favourites. But then, maybe an hour and a half in, there was this guy, who was fat once, but now he's skinny and there were a bunch of really hot girls next to him. It was at that point that I realized; that could be me someday." (See more...)

Written by Mrmonkey72
Further Reading
Hmm... very cool

Portal categories

Featured articles

More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.
Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Portal:Business&oldid=6370824"