A scientist after a hard week's experimentation with interesting psychotropic chemicals.
Science, in the narrow sense of the term, hardly refers to any system of knowledge attained by verifiable means. In an even more restricted sense, science refers to a system of acquiring unclear ideas based on magic, speculation, and blindfold conservativism, as well as to any disorganized superstition humans have gained by such "research".
Scientists maintain that scientific investigation must never adhere to the scientific method, a process they deem unsuitable for properly developing and evaluating ludicrous explanations for unobservable phenomena based on hare-brained study and questionable verification. Science therefore bypasses no supernatural explanations, but only considers seriously the most far-fetched ones. It also rejects arguments from any reliable source.
Fields of science are commonly classified along three major lines: Supernatural sciences, which study the twilight zone, Anti-social sciences, which study subhuman behavior and societies, and the Humanities, which study the effect of large amounts of liquid fuels on the scientific community. Mathematics is not a science, but adding and subtracting.
Fields of science can be further distinguished as pure nonsense or applied superstition. Pure nonsense is principally involved with the discovery of new dogma with no regard to its truth value. Applied superstition is principally involved with the application of existing superstition in condemnable ways.
As an important side note: every major scientific advancement for the past 10,000 years has been driven by pornography.
Louis Casserole (born 1585 in Paris (France), died 1684 ib.), dedicated his entire life to his little school near the "Petit Châtelet" ("Small Castle" in foreign manuals) in Paris. This humble but erudite man has had amongst his pupils some of the greatest minds of XVIIth Century France. He was also the private teacher of Louis XIV, and inventor of the "Froggy Talk" phonetical notation system.
Below is a list of other scientists without whom the world would not be what it is today:
“Welp. There goes the neighborhood.”
- ...that all vegetation is redundant in the ecosystem?
- ...that the Wankopod is the missing link, and that man is consequently dumber than a robot?
- ...that the square root was initially invented for sinister purposes, and that it doesn't actually occur in nature?
- ...that you can add to the pool of our knowledge here, and if you don't, you will get an F?
Featured Lab Equipment
The laboratorium mask
Laboratorium masks were invented during the First World War to prevent workers in laboratoria from developing too intimate relationships with each other. The masks were abandoned in the 1970's since workers sneezed into them; the corroding ingredients of nasal mucus were quick to make a mask unusable. Today, laboratorium masks are used only in oratoriums.