Portal:Science
The Science Portal
Science is a religion made by nerds, with the gods Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking and Richard Feynman as well as other lesser gods. It was first created when humans decided that sexual intercourse was the answer to all of life's problems that couldn't be resolved by booze. Since that time, science has evolved to the point where it no longer needs help from anyone, not even you.
Today, science is used mainly to draw the power out of cabbage and use said power to enlarge the size of a man's scrotum. It can also be witnessed lingering around elementary school grounds, often staying within close proximity to large white vans with enticing phrases drawn upon them in permanent marker. (Full article...)
Highlighted Article
Memory is the ability of the brain to retain information over long periods of time, and recall it when the information is needed later. To the best of my recollection, there are three main steps in the memory process.
Memory allows us to recall facts at will, and use those facts when needed. It is one of the most important functions of the brian.
Memory is also the the ability to...uhhhh......hmmm...
Highlighted Biography
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Louis Casserole (born 1585 in Paris (France), died 1684 ib.), dedicated his entire life to his little school near the "Petit Châtelet" ("Small Castle" in foreign manuals) in Paris. This humble but erudite man has had amongst his pupils some of the greatest minds of XVIIth Century France. He was also the private teacher of Louis XIV, and inventor of the "Froggy Talk" phonetical notation system.…
| Archive | Article credit: Mhaille | (more...) |
Did You Know...
Science Factoid
Daily Science Quote
“I had nothing to do with this.”
Featured Lab Equipment
The Frankly Disappointing Telescope can be found in the South East region of the United Kingdom. Its creator, Trevor McClaverty (a.k.a. Flaky Trevor), was inspired by both the Overwhemingly Large Telescope and the Very Large Telescope. Unfortunately, McClaverty did not have the tools, scientific know-how, or monetary capability to create such an impressive instrument. Hence the Frankly Disappointing Telescope.
Science in the News
- December 17: World renowned scientists discover dreams, inside of dreams, inside of other dreams.
- December 23: Scientist Alfred Hindsight proves that there is no air on the surface of the moon, his memorial will be held next month.
- June 11: Recent studies by NYU, New York University, show that women were indeed created first before men. Examples from the animal kingdom make the evidence even more undeniable includes, A species of lizard in which all males have died out, causing the females to turn into males during mating season, when testosterone level increase tenfold. In several species of fish, the population includes only females, except for one male. When the current male dies out, the next female with the highest testosterone level undergoes an automatic sex change in order to reproduce.
- May 11: Recent studies by Cambridge University indicate that men are less intelligent than women, on average. Men subdue women with hopes of becoming more intelligent.
- April 19: A new scientific study in London has found that most men have an average size penis.
- August 31: Study shows that aspirin might do more harm than good. Another study shows the opposite. A third study studies something completely different and utterly fails to mention aspirin.
- August 27: Extrasolar planet will most probably fall into its star. What with the light years between us and them, we will have certain information around the year 20.000 AD, if we still exist.
Interesting Findings
1,3-beta-galactosyl-N-acetylhexosamine phosphorylase • ATP • Abnormality • American (species) • Baraminology • Bezoar stones • Bioethics • Blank hole • Bluyiov Formula • Cell biologists are cooler than molecular biologists • Cis-zeatin O-beta-D-glucosyltransferase • Clean coal • Coffee dinosaur • Colon • Comparative evaluation of the indirect immunoperoxidase test for the serodiagnosis of rickettsial disease • Conversion • DNA • Discovery Channel • Frankly Disappointing Telescope • French XVII Disciples Oval Table • Gazebo • Heat death of the universe • Heroic Age of Antarctic Exploration Hydrogen • Idiotic Table of the Elements • Invention • Marie Curie • Matter • Nuclear semiotics • Obscurantism • Orange Construction Barrels • Proto-badger • Scrub typhus: the geographic distribution of phenotypic and genotypic variants of Orientia tsutsugamushi • Slime Cube • That time I accidentally miscalculated the date of creation during my sojourn in London • Turing Duck Test • Unfomercials:Uncyclopedia Krazy Kemistry Set
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