Portal:Music

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.

By far the most musical portal you will ever find.



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To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews. She loves the sound of farting.

I love music. Sweet or savory music. Any kind of music. As long as it's groovy. And rock - it has to be rock....and it has to be straight....and it has to be from San Francisco...no wait, I don't like music. I hate music. It sounds like my dog farting. Really eggy. I'm more of a cat person.


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Highlighted Article

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OK, so, you're crying because the angel did something that warrants the death penalty. That's deep, Serj...

So you want to write effluvial lyrics like the official Armenian-American Lebanese-born Poet of the Overwrought, Serj Tankian of genre-challenged rock band System of a Down.

The first question to ask yourself up front is, whatever for? Have the countless critical articles about his inability to pull a well-crafted subtle lyrical image out of his ass told you nothing? If so, then this article is for you.…

Archive Article credit: GlobalTourniquet (more…)

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Music in the News

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Standish, ME, USA (USS) - Eyewitnesses say the once world famous rock band KISS has ruined another high school graduation. Parents report that students at Bonny Eagle High School were lining up to get their diplomas, when all of a sudden the rock band KISS "walked in and screwed it all up".

One student was walking across the stage towards the principal when the band kicked down the door, fell all over a bunch of chairs, then drunkenly told attendees that "KISS is back, and we're still rocking all night, every night!"…


Archive Article credit: The Woodburninator (more…)

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Featured Image

Paulrus

If John Lennon was the Walrus, then why is this Paulrus part of the Beatles exhibit at the Museum of Natural Science and History?

Nominate stuff Image credit: Zana Dark Image archive

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Featured Artist

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Sergei Rachmaninoff, no doubt stoned out of his mind.

Sergei Vasilievich Rachmaninoff was a famed Russian piano composer, whose primary goal in life was to make piano players really fucking pissed off by making his music as unplayable as humanly possible. He claimed to be a pianist himself[citation needed], but all he must have played was some easy shit like "Chopsticks" or "Mary had a Little Lamb". Seriously, if he had any actual knowledge of playing piano, he would have arranged his music in a way that was actually readable, as opposed to the messes he composed. Either that or he was on shrooms when he wrote them. Or both.…

Archive Article credit: Thekillerfroggy (more…)

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Lyric of the Week

“I'm a wizard who uses his wand in a very special way.”
– Harry Potter, from the musical: Harry Potter and the Inevitable Musical
(more…)

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Featured UnTunes

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UnTunes:Grill on fire
She's just a girl, but she is grilling.

Grill on fire


This song is a promotional piece written and performed by Iron Chef Bobby Flay for Food Network, sung to the melody of Alicia Keys' Girl on Fire.


It's just a grill, but it's on fire

Ready for the coals to set, fish is waiting in the net

I'm cooking with a grill and it's on fire

We can fix you up a steak, have a picnic by the lake


Ohhhh oh oh oh oh

We got some surf and turf now

Let me show you all how

Ohhhh oh oh oh oh

Brush the grate with some lemon

Oh, it smells just like heaven…

Archive Musical credit: Zana Dark (more…)

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Recent Articles in Music

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Musical Articles by Genre

Classical Country Genres of Music Hip Hop / Rap


Jazz Popular / R&B Rock (General) Other Musical Articles

  The Beatles
John LennonPaul McCartneyGeorge HarrisonRingo Starr
The Fifth BeatleSir Pete Best
albums
Thank Thank You (1963) • Without The Beatles (1963) • A Hard Gay's Night (1964) • Beatles For Sail (1964) • Hell!! (1965) • Steel Funk (1965) • Revolter (1966) • Revolver (1966) • Sgt. Lt. Pepper's Only Lonely Hearts Club Bandana (1967) • Ringo Needs Some Money (1967) • Tragical Mystery Tour (1967) • The White Album (1968) • The Beatles: Ecological Number Ones (1968) • Yellow Sub Machine (1969) • Crabby Road (1969) • Let It Be (1970) • Ask Masters (1988)
related articles
BeatleficationBeatlemaniaBeatles In IndiaBritish InvasionLiverpoolPaul is deadMcCartneyismThe Revolution: A historyMaxwell EdisonBBCBeatles AboutThe Beatles Tribute BandMark David ChapmanUnNews:John Lennon denied resurrection for fourth timeThe Rutles
notable songs
Back in the U.S.S.R.Hey JudeI Am the WalrusLucy in the Sky with DiamondsRevolution 393Why?:Don't we do it in the road?