Portal:Music

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.

By far the most musical portal you will ever find.



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To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews. She loves the sound of farting.

I love music. Sweet or savory music. Any kind of music. As long as it's groovy. And rock - it has to be rock....and it has to be straight....and it has to be from San Francisco...no wait, I don't like music. I hate music. It sounds like my dog farting. Really eggy. I'm more of a cat person.


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Highlighted Article

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The Skin Flute has greatly increased in popularity due to additives that can increase comfortable playing time by nearly four hours.

The skin flute is a musical instrument of the woodwind family. Unlike other woodwind instruments, a flute is a reedless wind instrument that produces its sound from the flow of air against an edge called "blowing". The size and shape of a skin flute is both wide spread and varied, from the 3 1/2" "Pee Wee" through to the related hybrid Pink Oboe some of which have been known to top 14 inches, with substantial girth.

The Skin Flute is traditionally not a difficult instrument to master, although some might argue that it is an acquired taste, egged on by a deep desire to play with it and lave attention on it. Unlike the woodwind flute, it is not necessary to perfect an embouchure to play the skin flute, making the skin flute far easier to master than an orchestral flute - gag reflex excepted. As it only has one single hole, it is unlike its modern brethern; however should one encounter a skin flute with hole(s) along its sides it is best left alone. Careful manipulation with the fingers, tongue or lips can provide a variety of responses, allowing a master skin flautist to reach a crescendo or ease into a more subdued passage.…

Archive Article credit: Mhaille (more…)

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Music in the News

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Standish, ME, USA (USS) - Eyewitnesses say the once world famous rock band KISS has ruined another high school graduation. Parents report that students at Bonny Eagle High School were lining up to get their diplomas, when all of a sudden the rock band KISS "walked in and screwed it all up".

One student was walking across the stage towards the principal when the band kicked down the door, fell all over a bunch of chairs, then drunkenly told attendees that "KISS is back, and we're still rocking all night, every night!"…


Archive Article credit: The Woodburninator (more…)

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Featured Image

50 Mozart

Is it really him? (A grue just appeared.)

Nominate stuff Image credit: Marinos Image archive

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Featured Artist

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One of Miles' favourite things: Coltrane playing saxophone

Miles Davis was a jazz musician. He played trumpet. People say he's black, but that's because they're part of the predominantly white establishment who wanted to pigeonhole him into one category. Miles doesn't like categories, and he said himself: "I'm all races at once, baby. That's what fusion was all about, don't you know?" Throughout his long career, Miles also redefined jazz humour, by being the most humourless jazz personality to ever have existed. In effect, Miles taught his proteges that it was fine to ignore the audience while playing, not to announce tunes, and even turn your back to them (to be fair, a lot of audiences turned their backs to Miles when he started playing syrupy pop-jazz in the eighties). You might want to classify Miles' humour as "black comedy".…

Archive Article credit: Knucmo2 (more…)

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Lyric of the Week

“No, I'm not a stranger Look! I have an umbrella!”
(more…)

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Featured UnTunes

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UnTunes:Still Hurting
PLAY>MP3


So, after I broke up with Jenna, I was thinking, you know, just because we're broken up, that doesn't mean we shouldn't share our deepest feelings with each other, right? Chicks love that emotional shit.

So I wrote her this song about, you know, how much I miss her and how she makes me feel. I bet she'll be calling me any minute asking me to take her back.

Still Hurting

Well I'm still hurting so I'd be happy if you were hurting too.

Is it so much to ask that someone you love

be in constant unrelenting pain?


And I hope you stay up nights thinkin' of me

or maybe just lose your keys

So I'm waiting by the phone for you to call

and tell me, girl, that you misplaced your keys.…

Archive Musical credit: Hyperbole (more…)

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Recent Articles in Music

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Musical Articles by Genre

Classical Country Genres of Music Hip Hop / Rap


Jazz Popular / R&B Rock (General) Other Musical Articles

  The Beatles
John LennonPaul McCartneyGeorge HarrisonRingo Starr
The Fifth BeatleSir Pete Best
albums
Thank Thank You (1963) • Without The Beatles (1963) • A Hard Gay's Night (1964) • Beatles For Sail (1964) • Hell!! (1965) • Steel Funk (1965) • Revolter (1966) • Revolver (1966) • Sgt. Lt. Pepper's Only Lonely Hearts Club Bandana (1967) • Ringo Needs Some Money (1967) • Tragical Mystery Tour (1967) • The White Album (1968) • The Beatles: Ecological Number Ones (1968) • Yellow Sub Machine (1969) • Crabby Road (1969) • Let It Be (1970) • Ask Masters (1988)
related articles
BeatleficationBeatlemaniaBeatles In IndiaBritish InvasionLiverpoolPaul is deadMcCartneyismThe Revolution: A historyMaxwell EdisonBBCBeatles AboutThe Beatles Tribute BandMark David ChapmanUnNews:John Lennon denied resurrection for fourth timeThe Rutles
notable songs
Back in the U.S.S.R.Hey JudeI Am the WalrusLucy in the Sky with DiamondsRevolution 393Why?:Don't we do it in the road?