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Portal:Film

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Film (pronounced fill-um) is as much an artform as it is a business. It was originally developed as a means to display naked people "getting it on" and distributing it to the masses. Films are more commonly known as Brainwashing Sessions (pronounced Ber-rainwashing Sessions). This name came about from the Baze'd faces people get after watching films.

Movies have baffled psychologists as it was found in a study conducted by the government that the majority of movie goers remain expressionless when watching the loss of life, limb, heartbreak, hatred and racism. Moreover it was found that people were often willing to pay money to see such movies, as well as buy food to enjoy themselves while watching it. To this day psychologists still do not fully understand why human beings enjoy watching such movies. Perhaps it is the thought of paying a lot of money to the movies, sitting with stupid noisy people crunching their popcorn, while getting your eyes and ear bombarded by huge screen and noise. Yes, we love movies.. (See more...)

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The sequel to Being John Malkovich, Becoming John Tesh.
Featured Article
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The Bourne Pottery Class is the fourth film in the popular Jason Bourne series, starring Matt Damon. The film tells the epic tale of Jason Bourne, the ex-CIA assassin, as he enrolls in a pottery class and learns to make ceramic pots and pans. The film was hailed by critics as "one of the most thrilling depictions of ceramic plate-making since the James Bond movie from the '80s, 'The Spy who Helped Glaze my Clay Vase.'"

The film picks up directly where the last installment, the Bourne Ultimatum, left off--with Jason Bourne swimming in a New York river after falling approximately eight miles from a nearby skyscraper. Bourne swims to the shore and sees a building marked "Mrs. Wheeler's Pottery School." He walks inside, as extremely loud, guitar-driven industrial music plays in the background. The camera shakes dramatically as the first of many exhilarating sequences begins. Bourne tries to enroll in the class, but Mrs. Wheeler (Winona Ryder) wants to charge him $20 an hour. He says this is outrageous. As they argue, the camera shakes violently to the point that it is no longer possible to tell what is going on onscreen because it is an incomprehensible blur. (See more...)

Featured Biography
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Sofia Carmina Coppola (born May 14, 1971) is an American screenwriter, director, producer, and occasional actress who makes films about nothing.

Coppola was born in New York City, New York, the youngest child and only daughter of Eleanor Neil and Francis Ford Coppola, granddaughter of the composer Carmine Coppola, sister of Roman Coppola and Gian-Carlo Coppola, niece of August Coppola and Talia Shire, cousin of Nicolas Cage, Jason Schwartzman and Robert Carmine, goddaughter of Al Pacino and Diane Keaton, pen-pal of Steven Spielberg, fuckbuddy of Andy Garcia and bitter enemy of Kathryn Bigelow.

Her young life involved nothing but the tedium of being a pretty rich girl wandering around a vast, empty mansion while her parents were off making something of themselves. (See more...)

Did You Know?
  • ... that Adam Sandler in Uncut Gems proves that sports gambling is great, and you're one parlay from becoming a millionaire?
  • ... that Christian Bale is the American Psycho?
  • ... that the Straw Man was a prominent silent film actor until the end of Hollywood's "Golden Age"?
  • ... that Nicolas Cage started life as Nicholas Coppola, but became known by his current surname because famous film director Uncle Francis Ford Coppola used to keep him confined for protection?
  • ... that Michael Bay is a shallow estuary located near Los Angeles, in which eighty percent of SoCal's clichéd, formulaic action sequences occur?
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