Portal:Geography

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The Geographic Portal
Not pictured: the elephants holding it all together

The World is a big (theoretically) round place inhabited by many species of plants, animals and the dreaded Planimals. Many religions have different theories about the creation of the world, from Intelligent Design, to Unintelligent Design. However, the truth is far less dramatic. In actuality, the world was created by God, but He soon regretted this choice. Ownership of the world currently belongs to Great Britain who won the 2 competitions in deciding ownership which were held in 1914 and 1939. (See more...)

Geography is a valiant attempt to understand absolutely everything that happens on the Earth's surface. Geographers steal from Geologists, Geophyicists, Economists, Sociologists, Anthropologists, Philosophers, Physicists and Chemists to create pointless spatial analyses. As a result, Geographers know a shitload about many, many things, and fuck all about anything in detail. When being taught as a school subject, geography is known as colouring in for morons. (See more...)

Featured Article
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Assyria was one of the greatest empires of Antiquity, situated on the Northeast bank of the Tigris. The word Assyria is derived from mât Aššur, which is the ancient Mesopotamian term for "Land of Assyrius," the flying Minotaur god of Assyria. The western and eastern parts of Assyria consist of two alluvial plains, where irrigation enables agriculture; a vital part of Assyria's economy. The capital of Assyria, which is located between the eastern and western plains at the southern base of the Tigris, is named after the ancient Assyrian god Anuus.

It is believed that Assyria's civilization resulted from the immigration of a tribe of nomadic goat herders into the area from Middle Earth around 2500 BCE. These people settled in small villages on the wide open plains of Assyria, and then created an intricate system of irrigation that would eventually feed their thriving agriculture. Soon some of the small villages developed into larger cities, and these cites would eventually serve as trade and craft centers, driving Assyria's budding economy. (See more...)

Featured Explorers
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Vasco da Gama (c. 1460s – 23 December 1524) was the funniest guy ever. No, really, you should've seen him that one night. We were drinking late and Vasco said "I discovered the most peculiar thing, yesterday." And we were all like "What was it, Vasco? Tell us!" And then he said "Your mom's vagina. *trollface*" Oh God, we laughed so hard. I tell you, Vasco is one masterful son-of-a-bitch when it comes to entertainment. And I didn't just use that word because it had enter in it. Get it? Eh? Okay, maybe I'm not as good as the great Vasco himself. If only you could've seen him. You'd have laughed yourself to death. I'm not even kidding. He humored some Arabs to death once. It wasn't a pretty sight. He then stole all their gold. Hilarious!

Me and Vasco go way back. He was quite a scoundrel in his childhood. Like that one time the house was on fire and his father Estêvão asked Vasco who started the fire. And you know what the little pyromaniac told his father? "The cat did it." The poor cat was executed the following day. Oh, how we laughed. Priceless. (See more...)

Featured Image
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Generally speaking, this graphic is actually a very factual viewpoint.
Around the World
A handful of dong.jpg

SAIGON, Vietnam — The Americans spend their Dollar. The Britains buy with the Pound. Mexicans employ the Peso, Russians save the Ruble, and Germans parlay the Mark.

Vietnamese use the Dong and they're not happy about it.

"Why no one tell us?!" said Dien Phat, a store owner in Saigon. "Tourist laugh!" Tourists say; "How much one soda?" I say: "One Dong!" Tourist laugh! Tourist say: '"How much one newspaper?'" I say '"Two Dong!" Tourist laugh and laugh! I no know why! Tourist say "How much for bowl of soup?'"I say "Soup-10 Dongs!" Tourist fall on floor laughing! Tourist say; "10 Dong for one bowl of soup?! Big dong!' I say "Okay smaller Dong." Tourist laugh and laugh more! Say "You lowering your Dong?!" Tourist pee pants, go to hospital, no breathe! I think "What happening?! Dis always happen! Happen 6 times last month!" Turns out, 'Dong' mean's 'Pee-pee' to tourist! I so angry at Government!". (See more...)

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