Portal:Geography

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Geography portal
This portal's location should show up on your GPS in a few minutes, please check the radar screen for more information. Where the hell are we, anyways?
The gods looked out from Olympus and there were too many continents. No one was really sure what to do about this, so Zeus threw a lawn dart and it landed on the continent of Never-Neverland. Artemis picked the continent up and threw it into space, beyond the second star to the right and straight on 'til morning.

The citizens of Neverland were surprised when they woke up in space. (more...)

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File:bermuda_triangle.png
IT'S A FUCKING TRIANGLE.
No, seriously. The Bermuda Triangle is fucking lame. Don't believe me? You're lame too. I have scientific evidence on my side. The Bermuda Triangle is a bunch of New Age horseshit, and may even be a pyramid scheme. Here's why.

The Bermuda Triangle is an imaginary area of ocean between Bermuda, Puerto Rico, and Myanmar. The idea is that you draw lines between these islands and then inside the triangle there are ghosts. Spooky!...if you're three years old. "Oh noes mommy!! Teh bad water is going to eat teh boats!!!" Grow up! The Bermuda Triangle is just a story made up by sailors, and here's a hint: sailors are drunk 95% of the time. These are the same people that came up with patent nonsense like mermaids and neap tides, and now you're letting them tell you that this one specific area of water shaped like a triangle is going to leap out like the alien does in that movie Alien and rip your face off? No way, because that alien was awesome and the Bermuda Triangle is definitely not awesome.  (more...)

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The most destructive civilization to ever walk the earth.
Aztecs

The Aztecs, long considered as the Mesoamerican equivalent of Spartans, were a collection of ethnic groups well known for perfecting the delicate art of ripping the still beating heart from a man's rib-cage.

Their intricate culture of random violence and ceremonial organ theft became known throughout the West through the chronicles of Spanish explorer Hernando Cortez in which he described the natives as "batshit insane lunatics" and "get me the f**k out of here".

Many of these unique cultural hallmarks stem from the Aztec’s religion which roughly dictates that their pantheon of gods require round-the-clock blood donations to continue functioning or the world would implode on itself.  (more...)

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The World According to Americans
The World According to Americans
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A new map of Europe.

EUROPE - European countries often have particularly funny and catchy names such as "Hungary" and "Turkey". When these names of countries get spoken, stupid people who believe they are funny often crack a flat joke like If you're Hungary I'm Tired! HAHA!, but the joke often results in a glare instead of a laugh. But do European governments laugh at these jokes? Apparently so, otherwise they would not have changed their countries' names to things like "Thirsty", "Tired", and "Sick".

Most of the countries to have taken part in this sensations were ones around the countries of Turkey and Hungary. The first country to act in this wide spread change was Slovakia, a country just north of Hungary. They officially changed their name from "Slovakia" to "Thirsty". The world gasped in shock at the news, but many countries followed suit. Ukraine, Romania, Austria and Switzerland quickly hopped onto the country name band wagon, and the theme was child's complaints often heard in a moving vehicle on a family road trip.  (more...)

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