Portal:Geography

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The Geographic Portal
Not pictured: the elephants holding it all together

The World is a big (theoretically) round place inhabited by many species of plants, animals and the dreaded Planimals. Many religions have different theories about the creation of the world, from Intelligent Design, to Unintelligent Design. However, the truth is far less dramatic. In actuality, the world was created by God, but He soon regretted this choice. Ownership of the world currently belongs to Great Britain who won the 2 competitions in deciding ownership which were held in 1914 and 1939. (See more...)

Geography is a valiant attempt to understand absolutely everything that happens on the Earth's surface. Geographers steal from Geologists, Geophyicists, Economists, Sociologists, Anthropologists, Philosophers, Physicists and Chemists to create pointless spatial analyses. As a result, Geographers know a shitload about many, many things, and fuck all about anything in detail. When being taught as a school subject, geography is known as colouring in for morons. (See more...)

Featured Article
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I HATE THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE!!! No, seriously: it's fucking lame. Don't believe me? You're lame, too. I have scientific evidence on my side. The Bermuda Triangle is a bunch of New Age horseshit, and may even be a pyramid scheme. Here's why.

The Bermuda Triangle is an imaginary area of ocean between Bermuda, Puerto Rico, and Myanmar. The idea is that you draw lines between these islands and then inside the triangle there are ghosts. Spooky!...if you're three years old. "Oh noes mommy!! Teh bad water is going to eat teh boats!!!" Grow up! The Bermuda Triangle is just a story made up by sailors, and here's a hint: sailors are drunk 95% of the time. These are the same people that came up with patent nonsense like mermaids and neap tides, and now you're letting them tell you that this one specific area of water shaped like a triangle is going to leap out like the alien does in that movie Alien and rip your face off? No way, because that alien was awesome and the Bermuda Triangle is definitely not awesome. (See more...)

Featured Explorers
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Sir Francis Drake was born in Tavistock, Devon, in February 1540. He was the eldest of the twelve sons of Charlie Drake, a Protestant farmer, preacher, and comedian known for his ferocious hatred of Catholics and cheerful catchphrase "Can I burn you now, Paddy?" Unlike other famous British explorers, Drake's family were not wealthy but astute self-promotion and an unparalleled ability to kill Spaniards endeared him to the Queen and common people alike.

But it could have all ended much differently, and Drake was in many ways lucky to survive childhood. He was nine when the Prayer Book Rebellion swept seemingly unstoppably across England’s South West. Tavistock was soon threatened by an army of pro-Catholic protestors bent on destruction. These men, mostly landless Cornish peasants, had turned their pitch-forks against their overlords to seek the restoration of the true church, the abolition of the Book of Common Prayer and greater access to pasty-grazing land. (See more...)

Featured Image
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Generally speaking, this graphic is actually a very factual viewpoint.
Around the World
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SAIGON, Vietnam — The Americans spend their Dollar. The Britains buy with the Pound. Mexicans employ the Peso, Russians save the Ruble, and Germans parlay the Mark.

Vietnamese use the Dong and they're not happy about it.

"Why no one tell us?!" said Dien Phat, a store owner in Saigon. "Tourist laugh!" Tourists say; "How much one soda?" I say: "One Dong!" Tourist laugh! Tourist say: '"How much one newspaper?'" I say '"Two Dong!" Tourist laugh and laugh! I no know why! Tourist say "How much for bowl of soup?'"I say "Soup-10 Dongs!" Tourist fall on floor laughing! Tourist say; "10 Dong for one bowl of soup?! Big dong!' I say "Okay smaller Dong." Tourist laugh and laugh more! Say "You lowering your Dong?!" Tourist pee pants, go to hospital, no breathe! I think "What happening?! Dis always happen! Happen 6 times last month!" Turns out, 'Dong' mean's 'Pee-pee' to tourist! I so angry at Government!". (See more...)

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