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Portal:People

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The People Portal
Normal people

The following text is from a pamphlet which was seen drifting down from a clear sky one Sunday afternoon. It's not known what sort of creature might have dropped it, but it was apparently something which lives in the sky.

People make the very best pets! They're more affectionate than pythons, they're easier to litter train than guinea pigs, they take up less space than elephants, and they don't need a fancy salt water filtration system in their tank the way dolphins do. Furthermore, unlike trees, they're mobile, so you can easily take them with you when you move. If you don't want your pet to die, get a human! They can live over 100 years! There are a few things you should know in order to get the most out of your human, and that's what this page is for. It contains everything you need to know to get off to a good start! (See more...)

Featured Biography
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Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder (February 7, 1867 – February 10, 1957) was an American author. She wrote a series of books for children: Little House in the Big Woods, Little House on the Prairie, Little House on Plum Creek, Little House in the Long Winter, Little House on Silver Lake, Little House in Misery, Little House in a Parkdale Rest Home, Little House in the Housing Project and Little House on Pluto.

While these books are loosely based on her experiences, Wilder's private journals—revealed for the first time here on Uncyclopedia—show that her life was not always as described in the books. Laura was born in midwinter in a log cabin in the Wisconsin wilderness. This was, of course, back when Wisconsin had wilderness and not just cheese. The Civil War was recently over, Andrew "Yowza!" Johnson was in the White House, and the territory of Alaska had just been purchased from Emperor Meiji of Japan for fifteen tons of American squid.

Featured Image
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After Vin Diesel invented the time machine, he met with Leonardo da Vinci to lecture him on the importance of family.
Image by Reff
People in the News
It's good to cry. It separates us from the animals.
Did You Know?
  • ... that one of the major themes in Kurt Vonnegut's work was that technology is almost always beneficial and will cause no harm to humanity?
  • ... that Penn and Teller have performed at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas for the last 20 years, and will bring towels and soft drinks to your room if asked politely?
  • ... that TV presenter and child-predator catcher Chris Hansen was once accosted by a man known as "The Booty Warrior"?
  • ... that TV presenter and child-predator catcher Chris Hansen was once accosted by a man known as "The Booty Warrior"?
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