Portal:People

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The People Portal

People are evil but some people are questionable, and other people are good. Fear people. They are known to eat oranges. People are everywhere these days, as they constitute the final phase of the STD "baby." Their prevalence in history is rarely notated, so we're going to drop some knowledge, old school style, The fear of people intensifies from the score of the hatred of people.

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Selected Biography

Samuel L. Vacuum is an African-American / Vacuum (Blackuum) actor who does not like mothersucking dust on his mothersucking carpet.

Maybe you didn't find that funny.

While it is certainly arguable that the above sentence, which took me an approximate amount of a month to get precisely the right pacing and accenting, is not in the slightest bit funny, I must contest. You may have reached toward the "Edit" button atop the screen, perhaps to add a deletion tag or perhaps add some qualified wittiness, such as perhaps claiming that Mr. Samuel L. Vacuum "raped Tim Allen in the ass", or perhaps was "the inventor of ragtime music." Both of these viable options would not serve as a suitable addition to a sentence... nay, masterpiece, of this quality because I have specific reasons to counter you, as I am well prepared, and you are not.

It has clever wordplay. Shaming any mindless garbage that you have come up with, the perfection of a sentence that I have come up with contains a key element in wit; wordplay.…

Archive

Article credit: Mrmonkey72

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More Remarkable People

Below is a list of popular people:

• Akira Kurosawa
• Alec Baldwin
• Alfred Hitchcock
• Anderson Cooper
• Anne Hathaway
• Buster Keaton
• Captain Beefheart
• Charles Dickens
• Charles Lindbergh
• David Bowie
• David Lynch
• Enid Blyton
• Humphrey Bogart
• Issac Newton
• Leonard Cohen
• Leonardo DiCaprio
• Marie Curie
• Michael Bay
• Otto
• Pat Garrett
• Quentin Tarantino
• Rafael Nadal
• Robert De Niro
• Roger Moore
• Thomas Aquinas

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Quote of the Day

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.”

~ Albert Einstein

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Did You Know...

...that Sweden is the largest spender on ketchup.

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People in the News

• Proof the CIA is using leprechauns to keep the black man down (pictured)
• Airport staff want to see your junk.
• Organized crime, America's farmers, no match for millions of bored Facebook users.
• America's politicians decide to become disc jockeys.
• Satan lets loose evil opossums, demon-possessed proctologists.
• Kanye wins against Lil Wayne in a Twinkie eating Contest
• Charlie Sheen arrested for assaulting the fat kid from Two and a Half Men
• Even Dick Cheney may become a Wolf when the Wolfbane blooms
• Boxer Mike Tyson new spokesperson for General Mills cereals.
• Aliens shut down high-value UFO sighting reporting unit, now prepared for all-out invasion of UK.
• Gary Kirsten presents his revolutionary methods of training for Indian cricketers.
• Tigger Woods Loses His Bounce in the Pooh Sticks Gate Scandal.
• Europe has a new Emperor with a funny name.
• British actor dies . Americans may know who he was.
• Grim Reaper commits suicide after massive week of celebrity deaths
• Some old guy died, or something (ask your parents)

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Selected Picture

This rare and beautiful flower has the same effect as the head of Medusa, but it obviously resembles Dick Cheney. Nominate stuff Image credit: Safcdude Image archive

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Things You Can Do

• Find a remarkable article about someone and suggest it for promotion.
• Help rewrite articles about people. Some will be healed by a simple spell check, others need something a little more drastic.
• Be as social as you possibly can.

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