Portal:People

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PotatopeoplePortal.jpg
Welcome to Uncyclopedia's People portal.

This is by far the most biographical portal you will ever find.


People are evil. Fear people. They are known to eat oranges. People are everywhere these days, as they constitute the final phase of the STD "baby." Their prevalence in history is rarely notated, so we're going to drop some knowledge, old school style.


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Featured Biographical Article

Joe Namath

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Joseph William "Joe" Namath (born May 31, 1943), nicknamed "Broadway Joe" or "Joe Willie", is a former American football quarterback for the New York Jets, and is widely considered the greatest bad quarterback in NFL history.

In a dazzling 13-year career, Namath threw 173 touchdowns and 220 interceptions, completed 50 percent of his passes, appeared in one Pro Bowl and amassed a quarterback rating of 65.5, putting him on the short bus of NFL players. Nevertheless, his Super Bowl III "guarantee", his 4,000 yard passing performance in 1967 and his 161-game streak of drinking Jimmy Breslin under the table landed him in the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1985, forever disproving the "East Coast Bias" of sportswriters.

Namath's "intangibles" are often cited in his listing among football immortals. While Fran Tarkenton and Roger Staubach were better quarterbacks, "Broadway Joe" did sleep with a lot of beautiful women, and his Hall of Fame enshrinement gave hope to charming fuck-ups everywhere.

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Selected Picture

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After the scientist invented the time-travel machine, Vin Diesel goes back in time to pose for Leonardo Da Vinci in 1508. Tabloids read: "MONALIESEL is complete!" though the actual title of the painting was Manalisa.

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Did you know...

  • ...that if the entire population of earth was reduced to exactly 100 people,50% of the world's currency would be held by 6 people.
  • ...that Adolf Hitler had only one testicle.
  • ...that not everything you read is true.
  • ...that former enemies, America and Russia now have a great deal in common - they both lead the world in locking people up.


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People in the news

UnNews:CIA using leprechauns to hook African-Americans on drugs



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Other remarkable people

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Quote of the Day

“Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are the whole damn ocean. ”
– Ryunosuke Satoro



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Things You Can Do

  • Find a remarkable article about someone and suggest it for promotion.
  • Help re wright articles about people. Some will be healed by a simple spell check, others need something a little more drastic.
  • Be as social as you possibly can.