Portal:Games

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The Games and Sports Portal

Hey, gimme a go.

Going back thousands of years through the anals of time, man's penchant for sport (pronounced spurt) is limitless and bounding. Competition has both raised the blood to passionate fervency and reconfirmed the eternal greatness of mankind throughout the centuries. Among the first sports was rungold, which consisted of one man standing at the top of a hill next to a huge boulder, and another man one hundred paces down. The first man would push the massive rock down the hill, and the object was that the second man had to "return it."

Another early sport was Sokur, an archaic game in which players would kick a round object with their feet with the object being to get the ball into either of two makeshift structures called "nets" (usually made out of tungsten weed, or spiderwebs). This game quickly fell out of favor when it was discovered that the object could be picked up with the hands, eventually leading to modern-day Rugby.

Modern sports include Real Football, Baseball, Kitten Huffing, Curling, Snooking, Sockey, Kitten Hurling, Chucking loads of Elephant Poo at each other, Sailing and Monkey Waxing. Every 5 years the Olympiad is played in these and three other grand sports. It is an international competition open to all nations, which originated with the Geeks, an ancient civilization of people with thick glasses and a penchant for VRML tags. People have been throwin' the pigskin, hurlin stones, and waxing monkeys for decades with no stop in sight. This event is ultra-telecast on multilive video feeds on a number of stations worldwide. The soft drink revenues from the event are in the billions, but hey you don't need to know that, you're too busy watchin koko get a clean wax job. (Full article...)


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Baleog, Erik, and Olaf

The Lost Vikings are a group of sports newscasters who were once under the employment of Blizzard Sports News. Consisting of Erik "The Swift" Ronnson, Olaf "The Stout" Starke, and Baleog "The Fierce" Gundersenn, the three worked together effectively to bring the world amusing coverage of many sports topics. Although they delivered their stories with great skill, humour, and an amazing neutrality, they are perhaps more known by their video game appearance, as well as the Super Bowl half-time commercial that inspired it. Both of these featured the newscasters in stereotypical Viking garb attempting to traverse multiple obstacles, all the while making "witty" quips and subtle jabs at one another. As a minor note, they also carry the dubious distinction of being the only sports figures parodying a civilization of one sort or another that have not yet been targeted by multiple lawsuits.

Anchors

Although there are generally only the three above-mentioned anchors within the group of Vikings at any time, a couple of other faces have shown up.

Olaf "The Stout" Starke, defensive play expert, is generally the butt of many jokes by his two co-anchors, helped in no means by his large stature and poor hygiene. (Full article...)

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FIFA 2010

The revised logo for the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa.

Nominate stuff Image credit: Sonje Image archive


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Did You Know...

  • ...Pie charts are visual graphs meant to express quantities relative to each other. They are available in many flavors, and are especially popular during the holiday season. They are used far more frequently than their relatively new cousin, the Sphere Chart, and are widely considered to be the most informative variety of pastry available.
  • ...Jingo! is a game of physical and mental skill, first played in Europe during the 17th, 18th and 19th Centuries, particularly popular in England, where it is said to have been invented, but that has recently become de rigueur amongst American culture, especially throughout the nation's many colonies worldwide.
  • ...The Lost Vikings are a group of sports newscasters who were once under the employment of Blizzard Sports News. Consisting of Erik "The Swift" Ronnson, Olaf "The Stout" Starke, and Baleog "The Fierce" Gundersenn, the three worked together effectively to bring the world amusing coverage of many sports topics.
  • ...The Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament is an annual event hosted by the Elite General Blundering Around Division of the British armed forces. It is open to all pointless forces members, from those who are no good at fighting but can march very well, to the man in charge of feeding the regimental mascot sheep.
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Recognized Articles

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Categories

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Board Games - Cards - Computer Games - Departure of Fun - Drinking Games - Fighting Games - GameFAQs - Games for Mac OS - Grand Theft Auto - MMORPGs - Mortal Kombat - PacMan - Puzzles - Role playing games - RuneScape - Sports - Uncyclopedia Games - Uncyclopoly - Video games - Vile racism - War Games - World of Warcraft - Xbox Live Members

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