From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.

By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded man in the sky that flies around granting wishes, but there are some variations.


Highlighted Featured Article



Drugs are gifts from God to bestow the feeling of ambrosia on mere mortals. Not only are Jesus's Necessary Accessories, as He would have liked to call them, extremely cool, but they are multifunctional as well. Drugs have the unique and beneficent properties of:

  • Making a person feel happy
  • Making him simultaneously cool
  • Making everyone else uncool until they start using drugs too.

Drugs throughout history[edit]

Drugs have a long and fruitful history full of magic, fancy, significance, and extremely likely exaggeration. Drug use dates back to the twentieth century B.C., where the Ancient Sumerians discovered and cultivated the drug opium. Opium served the useful purpose of keeping the Sumerian civilization occupied and satisfied when the grain crop was insufficient. A crisis occurred when the opium crop failed, but this was solved with the cultivation of codeine some two hundred years later.



Highlighted Image

Jesu rifle.jpg
Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.

Main Page


Books and Other Media


Religion in the News


Quote of the Week

Bruce Campbell on Necronomicon Ex Mortis.


Did you know...


Spiritually Bankrupt Articles


Religious Articles That Need Help