Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal
By far the holiest portal you will ever find.
Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded man in the sky that flies around granting wishes, but there are some variations.
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His Noodliness, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the ultimate truth in the universe. It is the central point of worship in the religion commonly known as Flying Spaghetti Monsterism or Pastafarianism, according to which it is The Creator and Overseer, watching our lives and our world, changing them as it sees fit, by use of his most holy noodly appendage.

Incredibly, this ancient religion was not well-known until its rediscovery in 2005 by graduate student Bobby Henderson. He shall live on forever in the afterlife next to the Beer Volcano. Due to this incredible rebirth, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is now one of the world's most edible and fastest-growing religions.…

Archive Article credit: Flammable (more…)


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Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the official mascot for the Church of Later Day Saints, a satirical parody of the Roman Catholic Church (as if the Catholics weren't funny enough). He is essentially the same as regular Jesus, only he happens to be blonde and 100% pure, red-blooded American (not to be confused with Stephen Colbert). Disgruntled fans consider him an Expanded Universe addition only, and discount that Jesus ever had blonde hair, since he was a Palestinian Jew and all.…

Archive Article credit: Kevin1078 (more...)
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Cheese Jesus

Jesus loves Wisconsin, as seen in the movie Dogma.

Nominate stuff Image credit: Zana Dark Image archive


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Quote of the Week

“Eh, it's fine, really. No big deal. I'm not offended.”

God on Apatheism
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Highlighted News

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BNEI BRAK, Israel -- Local conservative rabbis are sick with worry, anxiety and unease at the increasing popularity of practical, comfortable fashions; more so even than the worry, anxiety and unease that causes their usual kvetching. After much bickering they have responded with the tact, sensitivity and delicate touch for which fundamentalists of all stripes are known; by burning down stores that sell offensive clothing and spraying bleach on women that Rabbi Yosef Elyashiv refers to as "...those nasty whores with their whore legs, whore skin and whore bulges. Whores!".…

Archive Article credit: Modusoperandi (more...)
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More Religious News

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Further Reading

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Did You Know...

Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
Zoroaster drives Uhuru's Mazda?
Zoroaster drives Uhuru's Mazda?
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