Gah
- Gaah!-Ryan Battelli
Corey cant say gah
Gah is the youngest brother in the God family.
However, he didn't show up for work, so his position was taken by a pompous angel.
History[edit | edit source]
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth, the angels, and man. Among the angels, he created Gosh and Gah. Gosh showed up for work everyday, but Gah disappeared. He cannot be found and currently has a search team looking for him.
So when his position opened, Mr. I Think I'm so High and Mighty jumped in and took the position for him. He is now serving as a devils advocate in hell.
Powers[edit | edit source]
Gah, like his brothers, has been blessed with powers. However, they are much lesser than those of God and Gosh.
Gah can however, punch you when you blaspheme against him. In fact, when you say his name, he'll teleport in front of you and punch you in the gut if he's feeling like it. He also has a bow that shoots a stream of arrow, that he uses to torture environmentalists that believe we shouldn't eat meat(Gah however, doesn't eat, being a lifeless being demigod. He just likes to pester vegans though. The angel chicks think it's hot).
Overall though, Gah's nothing too splendid. He however, makes up for this by his coolness factor, which is agreed by many theologians to be "...off the charts."
Coolness Factor[edit | edit source]
Gah is worshipped for his coolness. I mean, he's the master race, he wears sunglasses, a matching outfit, and he's single.
Earth women find him hot, and every guy wants to chill with him.
Except the homosexual men, who find him hot as well. The lesbians immediately change their sexual preference. As do the heterosexual men.
Accomplishments[edit | edit source]
Gah(Or Gah's replacement, renamed Gah, so still Gah) mainly joined the position for the sake of getting other hot angels. Everyone likes someone with power, and that's the same with Gah.
In which case, Gah made sunglasses fashionable in heaven, as well as ghetto old-English speak ("Word to thy forebearer, bitches!"), which he blessed man with.
He also beat up Stan while Gosh was busy taking his vitamins. He however, had trouble with Santa whom often jumped on his back and road him around like a piggy... Gosh had to jump in then.
Campaigns[edit | edit source]
Gah is currently in several campaigns, against those who go against the Holy Trinities.
Satan[edit | edit source]
Gahs current battle on Satan is not going to well for him. Gah has already been beaten up, and his almighty gut punch is wearing him out. Everytime he gets in a fight, Jesus has to bail him out.
Stan[edit | edit source]
Gah pretty much beats Stan at everything. I mean, come on. Stan is pathetic, and Gah knows that. In high school, while Stan was doing his math homework, he'd give him wedgies. So while Gosh is busy with Stan Gah is working in the background.
Santa[edit | edit source]
Gah just looks at Santa and calls him "an inferior being." Santa often gets ticked at this, and gives him coal. It's heard recently though, that Gah is starting a career in energy.
Stahn[edit | edit source]
Who?
May be the alter-ego of Stahn Aileron...
Gah's locations[edit | edit source]
Where can you find Gah, not find Gah, and help find Gah? Read below.
Places to find Gah[edit | edit source]
The following are places to find the new Gah. The other Gah is being searched for as we speak. Please pray for him.
- Nightclubs
- Bars
- Tall Towers
- Endless Towers
- Under the seals on your postage stamps.
- Church
- Church Bars
- Church Nightclubs
- Church of Martel
- Macking on yo woman
- Giving Stan wedgies
- At the Official Namco Forums
- Tales of Symphonia
Places to not find Gah[edit | edit source]
You cannot find the new Gah in the following places. You might however, find original Gah there. If you do, please contact authorities.
- At Home
- In Your Window
- Kitten Huffing
- Inside Yourselves
- At Zombo Com
- Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
- Anywhere near Fayt Leingod
- The planet zog, he was indeed once sighted here, but only to take a dump, Stan and Satan were playing tic-tac-toe at the time, then stan realised who he was playing tic-tac-toe with and threw a rubber duckie at him.
The Search for Gah[edit | edit source]
Gah is currently being searched for as we speak. If you have seen Gah (original) please call your local police station.
| The Christio-Religio Ladderal Hiearchy | |
|
Top Rung, the Holy Trinity: God, Jesus, & the Holy Spirit, opposed by Satan Middle Rung, the Holy Triforce: Mrs. God, Jesús, & The Holy Ghost, opposed by Stan |