A Dead Rat
is a fine choice as a pet. If
well cared for, it can provide many years of companionship, all the while making very minimal demands on you, its new owner. If you've had other pets in the past, you'll find that Dead Rats are truly exceptional companion animals
. With a very small investment of your time and money, they can become almost entirely self reliant, while still being there
for you 100% of the time. Unlike some other pets, which would prefer to spend some nights outside the home hunting for small game, or which may want to spend part of the day sleeping and don't want to be awakened, Dead Rats will never leave you alone, and will never object to being awakened from a nap.
Acquiring your Dead Rat
If you haven't yet acquired your Dead Rat, or if you're thinking of bringing home a few more Dead Rats, you should give some thought to what sort of Dead Rat will best suit your needs. There are several ways to obtain Dead Rats, and which one you choose will depend on exactly what sort of rat you want.
Roadkill - By far the cheapest and easiest method for obtaining a Dead Rat! Just look for a dead rat lying in the road, and take it home. (more...)
) is a box-shaped gap-toothed mammal known for eating humans, though more recently they have been known to kill certain lone wolves
, construction workers, a gerbil or two, speranah
, the occasional monkey, people who send annoying chain e-mails, your pets, and...well, Grues like eating a lot of things. Grues are not
often seen roaming the wilderness in herds, whistling old-time Irish pub songs, working on crossword puzzles, and calculating the amount of back taxes owed by car salesmen
. The reason Grues are not often seen doing anything is because grues live in total darkness
, so the whole "seeing" thing would be kind of hard to do. The likelihood of being eaten by a grue is probably non-zero.
It is widely believed that all emeralds are grue, but in fact, all emeralds are bleen.
There are an estimated 47 grues left in the United States today due to the Grue conservation program - luckily all grues are kept under heavy rocks, or locked away in abandoned biker bars. (more...)