Portal:Society
The Society Portal
Society is an abstract thought of people and culture as an entity, thinking and acting alike. It is the collective goal of humans which is always mistaken to have been achieved, thus subjecting its value and usage to degradation.
Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor white Christians. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all.
Selected Article
Can you fantasize it yet? |
There’s nothing I enjoy more than long walks on the beach. Some of my other hobbies include watching the sunset from a picturesque grassy knoll, indulging in fine wine with a scrumptious foie gras dinner, and candlelight conversations on French film. But I think you'll agree that nothing is quite as sexy as me taking a long walk on the beach.
Can you Imagine it? Me with my salon-fresh sandy blonde hair flowing in the breeze (courtesy of Tina; you're a miracle worker, honey!) and a sporty J.Crew sweater tied casually around my waist, lobbing a stray Frisbee back at some snot nosed little urchin. You'll see me on the coast looking pensively out at the sea, reflecting back on all of the endearing little things I did that week.
Archive | Article credit: So So | (more ) |
Selected Image
The Illuminati's official diagram of the human brain.
|
Society in the News
Here's what it looks like if you're doing it right. I don't know what's holding the cardboard up. |
Topeka, KANSAS - So I'm laying around on my mattress, see, bouncing it around every now and then but for the most part just laying there, maybe with the tv running listening to it talk about things, when I get a call from the UnNews front office, person named RAHB. They start talking, doing that "Johnny, how are you old chap" thing. I thought they were a credit collector or some other kind of salesperson, and was about to hang up when I overhear them saying, "Back in March you said your next news report would be about stuff in your room, can you get around to it now, before the first of the year?" I chew on something as I answer 'Sure' and throw the phone down on its back, like a hooker I know named Lucy who doesn't do that for the cheap.
Stuff in my room. Is that what you guys want to read about? I'd think you'd be more interested in ghosts on Mars, or green onions, or what the Queen eats for midnight snack (worms...it's true!). But I'll just educate you on some of the stuff here, what I can see of it.
There's one of those slinky walking things, guy must have made some big bucks who figured out the exact torque on that contraption to make it move down a flight of stairs like a noisy rodent. This slinky has little spikes on it, tiny razors which are embedded in the metal with just enough size to not interfere with the walking movement but actually cuts the wooden stairs or the stairway carpet as it passes……
Archive | Article credit: Aleister | (more...) |
Quote of the Week
Did you know...
- ...that you don't exist?
- ...that circular logic is good because I read it in an article on circular logic?
- ...that in Russia, reversals reverse reversions?
- ...that petting zoos are gonna get a whole lot more fun?
- ...that anti-intellectualism be good?
- ...that picking up chicks is as easy as i, 0, e, π?
+Add to the List | (more...) |
Recent Articles in Society
HowTo:Install a ceiling fan without getting your dick stuck in it | Black sheep | Shit A Shitter Paradox | UnTunes:The Online Stalker Call from Grandma | Alternative Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous | Why?:You shouldn't take acid before riding a bicycle | High school: an essay by an old lonely man in a retirement home | Why?:Fight Club is a cop out? | Bad Directions | An Open Letter to the Cheese Growing in Between My Toes | Nursery | Tapheselachophobia | Let Someone Else Do It | Blacking Up | Dear Diary | If You Know What I Mean
Topics in Society
Activities | Concepts |
---|---|
Philosophy | Relationships |
---|---|
More Portals
Portals complement main topics in Uncyclopedia that nobody cares about, and expand upon topics that nobody cares even less about.
-
Art
Peak pretentiousness -
Business
Money, money, money! -
Comedy
The science of funny -
Culinary
Food for the soul -
Film
Enter the Matrix -
Games
Recess time -
Gay
A gay ol' time -
Geography
Get lost -
History
Factually wrong -
Literature
Literally illiterate -
Internet
A series of tubes -
Music
Rock on! -
Politics
Politically incorrect -
People
The people's portal -
Religion
Speak of the Devil -
Science
Playing to be God -
Society
We live in one -
Technology
Breaking stuff easier -
Television
Turn your brain off -
Theatre
To be or not to be -
Video Games
Better than sex -
Zoology
Beware of furries -
Portals
The Portals portal -
Community
The Community -
Main Page
The Uncyclopedia