Portal:Society

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
edit 

The Society Portal

Main Page

Society is an abstract thought of people and culture as an entity, thinking and acting alike. It is the collective goal of humans which is always mistaken to have been achieved, thus subjecting its value and usage to degradation.
File:High-Society-Suspender-and-Stocking-zoom.jpg

Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor white Christians. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all.

All life on this planet is the intellectual property of Time-Life Magazine. All rights reserved.
edit 

Selected Article

Main Page

The protagonist begs the question for more in this classic scene from Oliver Twist.

Begging the question is a popular but difficult way of persuading interrogative statements to grant favors. Although many people have attempted to shake down questions for cash, gifts and other benefits, the questions make the following tacit assumption:

Only someone who does not need my money would ask me for it. The fact you are asking me for money is proof of this.

Many people use the phrase "begging the question" interchangeably with "raising (money from) the question," but the two are very different. Panhandling the question assumes you will get a quarter from "Where is the library?" by merely asking the query for change for the bus.

Written by Procopius
edit 

Selected Image

Main Page

ShitterParadox.png
You know what they say, "You can't shit a shitter". But M.C. Escher will be damned if he didn't try!
Image by KneeChee27
edit 

Society in the News

Main Page

Slinkydownstairs.jpg
Here's what it looks like if you're doing it right. I don't know what's holding the cardboard up.

Topeka, KANSAS - So I'm laying around on my mattress, see, bouncing it around every now and then but for the most part just laying there, maybe with the tv running listening to it talk about things, when I get a call from the UnNews front office, person named Cat the Colourful. They start talking, doing that "Johnny, how are you old chap" thing. I thought they were a credit collector or some other kind of salesperson, and was about to hang up when I overhear them saying, "Back in March you said your next news report would be about stuff in your room, can you get around to it now, before the first of the year?" I chew on something as I answer 'Sure' and throw the phone down on its back, like a hooker I know named Lucy who doesn't do that for the cheap.

Stuff in my room. Is that what you guys want to read about? I'd think you'd be more interested in ghosts on Mars, or green onions, or what the Queen eats for midnight snack (worms...it's true!). But I'll just educate you on some of the stuff here, what I can see of it.

There's one of those slinky walking things, guy must have made some big bucks who figured out the exact torque on that contraption to make it move down a flight of stairs like a noisy rodent. This slinky has little spikes on it, tiny razors which are embedded in the metal with just enough size to not interfere with the walking movement but actually cuts the wooden stairs or the stairway carpet as it passes……

Archive Article credit: Aleister (more...)
edit 

Quote of the Week

Main Page

“If a woman starts talking about a wedding you know you are entering a world of pain.”

~ 'From the article: Wedding
(more…)
edit 

Did you know...

Main Page

  • ...that walking is like running very slowly?
File:Question Mark.png
  • ...that walking is like running very slowly?
+Add to the List (more...)
edit 

Recent Articles in Society

Main Page HowTo:Install a ceiling fan without getting your dick stuck in it | Black sheep | Shit A Shitter Paradox | UnTunes:The Online Stalker Call from Grandma | Alternative Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous | Why?:You shouldn't take acid before riding a bicycle | High school: an essay by an old lonely man in a retirement home | Why?:Fight Club is a cop out? | Bad Directions | An Open Letter to the Cheese Growing in Between My Toes | Nursery | Tapheselachophobia | Let Someone Else Do It | Blacking Up | Dear Diary | If You Know What I Mean

edit 

Topics in Society

Main Page

Activities Concepts
Philosophy Relationships
edit 

More Portals

Main Page

Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.


Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Portal:Society&oldid=6369107"