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You have two cows

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"Beware of flesh-eating bovines"

Devour their flesh before they devour yours!

Correction: you had two cows.

You have two cows is the ultimate philosophical truth. All categories except Category Nine (How mooriginal) may contain contributions from the Internet as well as Uncyclopedians. Mathematical proof that you have two cows lies in moometric identity:

This mathematical proof can also be written with the second moometric identity:

Where Moo is the universal moometric constant.

A longstanding tradition of mathematics is discovering new truths pertaining to two-cow ownership. Currently, 45,893 45,894 45,895 45,896 45,897 45,898 45,899 45,900 are known.[1]

A related but much more difficult problem is the identification of philosophical truths involving the ownership of three cows. An infinite number of these is also expected to exist, although this is unproven. To date, very few three-cow truths are known to exist, all of which have yet to be proven. In coming years this problem is expected to become much more important, as Microsoft has announced that the next version of Windows[2] will require users to have three cows, or, alternatively, two overmilked ones. Linux however needs only a pint of milk, but you need to deliver it through the command prompt with the use of four pipes, an awk and a sed.

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  1. Nostradamus demonstrated in 1555 that the total number of two-cow truths is infinite.
  2. Ibid.
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