The Joker

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Are you into magic tricks?

“Say peacock and nobody bats an eye. Say poopcock, and society calls me gay!”

~ The Joker (Batman issue #311 (1498)

The Joker, also known as the Man Who Laughs, the Jerker, the Jonkler or simply Lil' J, is a psychotic clown who terrorizes Gotham City. The Joker, despite his strange ego, serves as the archenemy of the vigilante Batman, who is secretly his fuckbuddy.

The Joker was created by Stan Lee following a crazy summer night in Las Vegas back in '53. Originally, the Joker was meant to hysterically portray John Wayne Gacy but the idea was rich and therefore became stamped into comic history. The Joker was also originally suppose to be called the Mime but it was lethally tedious to shape the character's personality into a twisted ego without using words. Lee was baffled and decided to sell the rights to Jack Kirby, Bill Finger, and Bob Kane for at least one penny, something that he had gone on to regret.

Who is he?[edit | edit source]

Joker tops Criss Angel with his Oscar winning magic trick.

Nobody knows who the Joker really is, but nobody really cares. The Joker is the mpreg king of The South and is the second most dangerous enemy that Batman has ever faced, the first is Superman who sued Batman for stealing his outfit design (the judge let Batman win the case because he made it look much cooler than Superman ever could). The Joker is named after the cards he carries around and even calls them his calling cards, even though they have absolutely no helpful information printed on them. These cards are handed out to all the criminals whom he's willing to make a deal with (who quickly put under a soda can). He gets these cards by traveling across the country and picking out the two joker cards from every deck he finds (they're actually quite easy to come by in Montana). Joker is actually clueless about who he really is or why he looks this way. So to help cope with his problem, he created a real name and all sorts of stupid origin stories. However he changes this name and origin each day because he can never remember what the story he told the previous day was.

Ronald McDonald[edit | edit source]

Ronald McDonald is revealed.

Though it is not his true identity, the Joker was often speculated to actually be the owner of the McDonalds Empire, Ronald McDonald, who is just several steps away from conquering the world.

The Joker stated himself that it wasn’t true, that in fact he had the look 15 years before Ronald McDonald, and he had sworn revenge on the scene-stealing clown. 

He has been linked to several cases of trying to thwart the persona-burgerlering McDonald, especially after discovering that Ronald had Jacked his catch phrases "Have it your way” and "Put a smile on" without credit. Joker’s first attempt is highly speculative. Witnesses claimed that, dressed in a short blonde wig disguise, he had been hired on as a McDonald’s Manager in January of 1992, going by the name “Karen Lastnamerly.” “Karen Lastnamerly” was fired a week later after when it was revealed that she had been caught licking the burgers before wrapping them up...but the damage had already been done... When tapes were reviewed, “Karen” was seen after hours laughing hysterically as “she” replaced the kids meal toys with various dangerous replicas. Ronald McDonald and his team worked tirelessly to find and destroy the toys, only to have his own toy, the “Doc DeLorean Car”, revealed as a choking hazard in May of 1992 and lawsuits ensued.

In response to the law suits, Joker dressed up as a “Lil’ Timmy”, to sue Ronald McDonald for damages to his throat from the time-bending car toy, making it impossible for him to lick his lollipop, which he brought to court as evidence-showing pathetically his inability to lick it. During trial, everyone but Ronald could clearly see that this was in fact THE JOKER and NOT a child, and after an extremely awkward 5 minutes of questioning, the Joker was asked to leave, and he sulked out of the courtroom.

Several other attempts to thwart McDonald have been mentioned. [[

]] However, only one of them resulted in the Joker being jailed temporarily. He was released, ironically, when a new guard mistakenly identified him as Ronald McDonald.

Joker Today[edit | edit source]

Let's just say this was a... bad joke.

Joker currently lives in a society, residing in a deserted theme park with his boyfriend (A Twilight body pillow of Edward Cullen) after Harley Quinn wised up and dumped him. His hobbies include killing people with laughing gas, Joker venom, knifes, guns, and pickles that explode. He also likes to collect bottle caps, and enjoys Tim Burton films. (Besides Burton's Batman film, which he hates for killing him off and making him old, and Todd Phillips' Joker film, which he also despises for making him a poor, awkward incel). He also went through a stage where he started wearing grills, got numerous face tattoos and started acting like an emo punk, then got over it, killing anyone who dared mentio — what the — gagagasdfsdafeirakjsfdalbkafgupifdhjkhgunshots

Also See[edit | edit source]