Huntress Thompson
Historical Context[edit | edit source]
During the dark ages of infinite crime and hippies running rampant (c. 1972), there was a need for a superhero that could take care of this problem in one fatal swoop, and burn Richard Nixon at the same time. Hence emerged Huntress Thompson. Some may believe that Huntress Thompson was the secret, feminine and sultry superhero identity of the journalist Hunter S. Thompson, but most realize that the only way that could have possibly happened is if the straight-edged man that Hunter S. Thompson is, was on drugs. Others have speculated, incorrectly, that Huntress Thompson was a cunning disguise adopted by a Marvel super-heroine in order to infiltrate the DC Universe and steal its secrets and return home with new crime-fighting technologies on behalf of The Avengers.
The Early Life of Huntress Thompson[edit | edit source]
Huntress Thompson was born in 1956 in a small hospital wing on board the JLA statellite headquarters, by the miracle of retroactive continuity. Huntress, the whore that she is, had a baby with Superman and secretly told everyone that she was raped by a stranger, in order to avoid getting her ass handed to her by Wonder Woman for going with Wonder Woman's man behind her back. Huntress Thompson was flown down to Earth where she was taken in by a pair of hippie anti-socialists. They raised her upon the ideas and readings of the famous journalist Hunter S. Thompson. The little girl grew to become a woman, a very sexy woman that would become a superhero and would full fill every male nerd's fantasies.
"Huntress Thompson? Is he black? It's a she? Those black women are very manly... Those damn Black Panthers ate my cat. Poor Mr. Whiskers..."
~ Mark Twain on Huntress Thompson.
The Crime Fighting Years: The 1970's[edit | edit source]
Huntress Thompson fought her way through several cities, making them safe and destroying them whenever it was "that time of month". Her record still stands:
Kills: 164 Deaths: .9 (it was really close, I'm telling you) Assists: 148562 Total Medals: 154 Cities Destroyed: Chicago, San Francisco, Denver, New Orleans, Atlantis (the city under the sea), Queensbury
Huntress Thompson actually ran into her idol Hunter S. Thompson while he was digging his way into his car through his trunk while escaping a mob of the Hell's Angels. Subsequently, she introduced Hunter S. Thompson to the Hell's Angels and later had a huge orgy with them.
