American Justice Coalition
“That is an American guitar.”
— Oscar Wilde on the Founding Fathers
- This article is about the Golden Age of the American Justice Coalition. For the retcon Silver Age version of the team see American Justice Coalition (Silver Age)
In the early years, before America became what it is today, the country was full of villainy and injustice. Several early American heroes arose from among the ashes of a degraded civilization. They were the few capable of standing against the criminal tyranny. Thus, the American Justice Coalition (AJC) was formed.
They have forever stood out as the few, the proud, those willing to fight crime, fraud and Kitten Huffing.
Members[edit | edit source]
George Washington[edit | edit source]
The group was lead by George Washington, who came to earth in a meteor shower from a distant alien planet. He was adopted by human parents who taught him to keep his identity well hidden. Some people call him "the Man of Iron", although believing this to be his real name is just being silly. While he is known as George Washington to the common populous, his true identity is unknown, except to a few key people, including someone who claims to be his best friend, a reporter for the largest newspaper in the colonies. He gained an intense sense of justice, which often clashed with Benjamin Franklin's slightly more anti-heroic tactics. They had mutual respect for one another, but occasionally had a falling out on key political issues. He is generally considered the leader of the Coalition, although each of the members has had an episode or two devoted to them.
His powers include:
- Super-human Strength
- Heat Vision
- X-ray Vision
- color vision
- Super-speed
- Flight
- Bullet-proof skin
- Resistance to extreme temperatures
- Invulnerability to alcohol
- Throwing dollars across the Potomac
- Chopping down cherry trees
- Ignorance in small doses
- Leader
Some have disputed the flight as simply an ability to jump extremely far.
Benjamin Franklin[edit | edit source]
Of the group, the second in command was Benjamin Franklin. He was the son of a wealthy family in the largest and darkest city in all of the colonies. His parents were murdered by a mugger in the rough part of town. Franklin's following years have been disputed as to his actions, although many purport that he crawled into the criminal underbelly of society, and learned to understand the inner workings of the evil mind. He was inducted into a ninja school, but left when they threatened to destroy all of America due to decadence. Franklin is the bad-attitude second-in-command of the AJC, often clashing epically with Washington, whom he believes to be too lenient with criminals.
He has no actual super powers except for his butler. His equipment was far advanced for the time, enabling him to fight crime alongside the Man of Iron himself. He possessed martial arts skillz, as well as many shiny gadgets. His strange looking utility belt saved him on countless occasions.
Betsy Ross[edit | edit source]
Steeped in Geek mythology, Betsy Ross was the princess of an Amazon book-selling tribe. She moved to America because of the books, and to teach the people how to use condoms and cook corn and toast. Sometimes, people call her Diana, although she seems to prefer "Betsy" or "Lynda". Her role in the AJC varies from person to person. Some consider her to be the group's "feminine side", and others consider her the "whore".
Her powers include:
- flight
- super-strength
- super-speed
- highly developed fighting skills
- enhanced hearing
- enhanced vision
- animal empathy
- regeneration
- sisterhood with fire (they still send each other Christmas cards)
- high resistance to magic
John Hancock[edit | edit source]
John Hancock had wings on his back. Before his days in the Coalition, he spent a small fortune building a large tower in Boston, Massachusetts. He intended to use this to watch over the city as it slept, and as a base to fight crime from. Unfortunately for Boston, Hancock was contacted by Washington and invited to join the AJC, leaving a massive tower in the city, minus all of the state-of-the-art security equipment that was planned for it. The tower has since been changed into an office building.
Thomas Jefferson[edit | edit source]
Jefferson once ran all the way from Boston to Washington with his main superpower: Lightning speed. This is, in fact, his only power. He was supposed to be working with Paul Revere, but because he was running so fast his cries of "the British are coming", were simply not heard, and all the credit went to Revere.
John Adams[edit | edit source]
He is green. This probably means that he is a Martian from Mars, and he can shape shift, and stuff. Although, he could very possibly be from another planet other than Mars. Little else is known about him except that he is very into the game of Baseball cards, many of his own are from an Alien collection.
James Madison[edit | edit source]
He has a ring from an alien race. The ring has magic powers which allow it to either make green things, or make things green. He is best known as the creator of the White House, which was used as the Coalition's base for most of its operation. For a while, the White House was the "Green House", until George Washington asked that it be painted white so that it wouldn't clash with anyone's uniform. Madison later admitted that looking at Thomas Jefferson's uniform against the green walls reminded him too much of Christmas to be healthy.
The Justice League of Jesus Split[edit | edit source]
In some of the group's earlier adventures, there were a handful more members. Fairly early on, there was a falling out between George Washington and Jesus, which resulted in the large AJC splitting off into the two other groups. One, becoming the group that founded this great country of America, and the other to become what we call The Justice League of Jesus. On occasion, the two forces would put aside their differences and battle for the greater good of the planet. In general, however, the two groups fought like whiney little children arguing over who has to sit on the back seat hump.
Notable Adventures[edit | edit source]
- Writing the Declaration of Independance, this challenge required all of the Coalition's powers, as they needed to stop time as everyone within a four mile radius came to sign the document (which was later sold on eBay).
- Saving downtown Tokyo from a giant, green monster that had mutated from dumping too much Tea into the Boston Harbor. The group later befriended the monster, who aided them on later missions. The monster was named for Oscar Wilde, the well known quote-smith.
- Defeating Lex Luthor and King Lear at the Battle of 1812
- Saving the earth from a giant meteor using a massive green baseball bat (created by James Madison), held by George Washington, and used to hit a home-run into the atmosphere (witty comments provided by Ben Franklin and John Adams)
- Along with Dashboard Confessional's Cloud Strife, the AJC fought Oprah and defeated her once and for all.
- Attempting to defeat Dr. Phil, George Washington was almost killed by an Englandite Bullet fired by Phil. Washington spent the rest of the fight recuperating, while the others fought the bad Doctor.
- Sitting on the jury in the case of Pirate v. Ninja, they also helped to protect the jury from outside threats.
Enemies[edit | edit source]
Fellow Justice Fighters[edit | edit source]
- Flying Spaghetti Monster
- Oscar Wilde
- Cloud Strife
- Homer
- The AAAAAA (who give them all cheap rates on car insurance and free movie passes)
- The Punisher
- C3-PO
- R2-D2
- Willy Wonka
- Agent Kim Possible
- Fox News
- Hannah Montana
Notable American Justice Coalition Alumn[edit | edit source]
Neutral Parties[edit | edit source]
- The RIAA
- Mozilla Firefox
- Cirque du Soleil (politically forced to be neutral)
