Portal:Politics
Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (See more...)
Capitalism, more widely known as crapitalism, derives its roots from the Latin words capital ("head") and ism ("gooey, cheese-like substance"). It was created by a group of men calling themselves the "justification league". Capitalism has been misunderstood by the left and right of the political spectrum: Capitalism's ultimate purpose is to allow those born into luxury to justify to themselves that they deserve it, and to give those not born into luxury a life purpose to dismiss those creating wealth as "oppressors". It Can Also Mean The Study and Worship Of CAPITAL LETTERS.
Capitalism is a system of idiot economics that entails the rights of the elite to control the means of production and enslave the workers, with limited state control and judicially preserved property "rights". This system rewards those who create what the market is demanding, even if the market is demanding more videos of Tara Reid's deformed nipple slip or microwavable cheese products. You have to be a douchebag and a sellout willing to step on the meek to get anywhere.
| “ | Inflation is as violent as a mugger, as frightening as an armed robber and as deadly as a hit man | ” |
— Ronald Reagan, on some guy named Inflation
| ||
Barack Hussein Osama Obama II (born August 4, 1961) was the 44th President of the United States, the first to become so without the benefit of white skin, and the first to admit to being under the influence of marijuana and cocaine during most of his presidency. He was the perfect choice for a nation that, for two decades, had dealt with global adversaries and foreign invaders mostly by singing "Kumbaya".
Obama got his start as a young, shiningly optimistic upstart community organizer in Chicago. He served as an Illinois state senator from 1997 to 2004, and as a U.S. Senator from Illinois from 2005 to 2008. Obama was elected president in 2008 and reelected in 2012, setting out to shake up the system for a brighter and better tomorrow. He also had a cup of coffee in the Senate before starting his successful campaign for the presidency. Black coffee. In a white cup.
As president, Obama's chief accomplishments were policies to stabilize the weak economy, some of which gave the government an alarmingly larger role in the everyday life of citizens, and in turn, created a larger number of alarmed citizens. Critics claimed that Obama's authoritarian tendencies resemble the dystopia portrayed in the book 1984 by George Orwell. Obama responded with a curt "That's double-plus-ungood," and subsequently banned Fox News from the press pool.
- ... that in the China, reading this website will lower your social credit score by five points per visit?
- ... that the Sunset Advisory Commission is a government agency created solely to combat the tyranny of effective governance?
- ... that Political correctness is the state of being right about politics all the time, and should therefore be encouraged as much as possible?
- ... that the people of Puerto Rico were granted U.S. citizenship, on the condition that they never tell anyone about it?
- ... that Talk radio (a predecessor to the podcast) would feature political commentary interspersed with hours of incoherent screaming?
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