Political correctness gone MAD!
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Political correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority–and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media–who hold forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.
- *ahem*
Political correctness was invented for niggers, bitches, fags and retards. AIDS is good because it kills off all those dirty Niggers. All non-"white straight working for the man and having two kids in a nice family with a picket fence and a dog Christian males" should be killed.
- *ahem*
Political correctness was brought in for blacks, women, gays and disabled people. People who follow PC should be killed. Black people should die. You are making me self censor myself bitch-
- *AHEM*
Political correctness was introduced for African-Americans, females, homosexuals and mentally or physically challenged persons, to avoid discrim-
- *AHEM*
DIE YOU MOTHER FUCKING POLITICAL CORRECT HOUND-
- *no no not the face AHHHHHHHHHH*
Now, as I was saying, Political correctness is based on the valid idea protected under principles of a civilized society proposed by progressive elements of society and empathic and sociable interest groups to promote civilized behavior and prevent exclusion towards minorities, disadvantaged members of society, and fellow human beings outside of one's own particular society. This responsible code of conduct prevents offensive or otherwise undesirable projections towards persons of specific demographics.
It is slightly more popular than other forms of constrained writing, such as palindromes, omitting the letter "u" from words such as colour, or "your mom" poetry. The most common definition is that it is a form of writing where politically incorrect, also known as the truth, is outlawed. Politically incorrect speech is extremely offensive to minorities, gays, disabled people, and women. The reason for this is because these people know they are the scum of society and can't handle the truth. A bunch of gutless, cowardly liberal politicians, (predominantly Left-wingers), invented Political Correctness (PC for short) in order to win votes and protect people's wussy feelings.
Definition
Political correctness is the act of altering the wording of a statement that refers to a certain group of people so that they feel better about themselves; for example foreigners and overweight people. Over time, however, society has decided that the truth is rude and unacceptable, so we are made to sugar-coat reality.
It is defined by politically correct people as follows... note the way that no possible entity in this universe could possibly be offended, except maybe the blind or illiterate:
Political correctness is making sure not to offend any person human living thing that is capable of thinking feeling existing.
The movement for political correctness has spent many years researching the most neutral way to address a group of people, without stepping on any toes. Phrases such as "souls", "brothers and sisters", "carbon-based lifeforms", "sentient protein chains", "spatial distinctivenesses", "not-self" and "friends" have all been found insensitive. Originally the word "Love" was the only universally acceptable form of communication, but it was found this could be used to insult an individual by expressing it to everyone BUT them.
Politically incorrect activists frown on the term political incorrectness, seeing it as a bastardisation of English that political correctness is known for. It was therefore universally agreed that they shall henceforth be known as bastards.
PC Protocol
Federal law requires the article to be translated into another language. It is bilingualism, multiculturalism and PC-ness in its best.
A lei federal requer que este artigo seja traduzido em outra lingugagem. É bilingualismo, multiculturalismo e políticamente correto em seu melhor.
La ley federal requiere que el artículo sea traducido a otro idioma. Es el bilingüismo, el multiculturalismo y PC-dad en su mejor memento.[a]
The honky lo made we be jivin in anotha way brothas talk all right. yeah.[b]
Liittovaltion laki edellyttää artikkeli käännetään toiselle kielelle. Se on kaksikielisyys, monikulttuurisuus ja PC-ness parhaimmillaan.[c]
La loi fédérale exige que l'article soit traduit dans une autre langue. Il est de bon ton que le bilinguisme, le multiculturalisme et le PC-tion fassent partie intégrante de cet article.[d]
연방 법률이 문서는 다른 언어로 번역해야합니다. 그것은 최고의 bilingualism, 다문화주의와 PC–다움이다.[e]
联邦法律要求的文章被翻译成另—种语言。这是双语，多元文化和PC– 内斯在其最好的。[f]
Federal legeak eskatzen artikulua beste hizkuntza batera itzuli behar. Elebitasuna, kultur aniztasuna eta PC-Ness da bere onenean.[g]
Examples
| Phrase | |
|---|---|
| "Abortion" | "Infanticide" |
| "Annoying" | "Twelve Year Olds" |
| "Any joke" | "A non-prejudiced white heterosexual male walked into a bar and got arrested because he made a facetious comment. What a narrow-minded oppressing asshole! I hate white heterosexual males." |
| "Baa baa black sheep" | "Baa baa ethnically-diverse sheep" |
| "Bad" | "Morally Exotic" |
| "Black coffee" | "Darker-than-thou coffee" |
| "Censorship" | "Selective Release of Information" |
| "Cheating" | "Sexually Outsourced" |
| "Christmas" | "Non-specific wintry gathertime in which people celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ" |
| "Electoral Fraud" | "Democratic process" |
| "Every Tom, Dick and Harry" | "Every Tom, Penis and Harry" |
| "Fox News" | "Arrogantly self-proclaimed 'balanced'" |
| "Good" | "Conformationally correct" |
| "Hearts and Minds of the people " | "The stuff they don't show you on CNN" |
| "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!" | "Sex worker, sex worker, sex worker! Merry Festive Period, if you are not a Christian we respect your life choices. But you do get presents ..." |
| "I think political correctness has gone mad." | "I am a bigot." |
| "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" | "My mind is expressing itself in terms of a Caucasian non-denominational winter festival." |
| "I'm not a racist, but..." | "The following statement will prove I'm racist." |
| "Indecent Exposure" | "Sexually visual" |
| "Invasion of Arab nations" | "War on Terror" |
| "Jewish terror group" | "Jewhad" |
| "Pimpmobile" | "Culturally Responsive Transport" |
| "Politically Correct" | "Of Truth and Accuracy Regarding Government or Public-Related Issues" |
| "Politically Incorrect" | "Of Erroneousness and Inaccuracy Regarding Government or Public-Related Issues" |
| "Pot calling the kettle black" | "Marijuana calling the cauldron pigmentally different" |
| "Alien Invasion" | "Armed and hostile Cosmic Creatures" |
| "YouTube" | "Defunct and dead social media" |
| "Your female kinfolk" | "What you will have sex with if you are a male and no female wants your ass in civilized society" |
| "Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs" | "Snow Caucasian And The Seven Vertically Challenged People" |
| "Ten little indians" | "Ten ethnically-diverse people living in Las Vegas" |
| "Your mama so fat..." | "Your birthing person is so full-figured..." |
| Lifestyle Choice | |
|---|---|
| Child Molester | Priest |
| Christians | Reality Challenged |
| Criminals | Lawfully Challenged |
| Cult | Scientology |
| Democrat | Opinion Challenged |
| Goths | Pagans |
| Hypocrites | Religiously Active |
| Morons | Mormons |
| Neurotypical Syndrome | Arrogant Assholes |
| Old People | Chronologically Advanced |
| Primitive People | Modern Atheists |
| Pro-Baby Killing | Pro-Choice |
| Prostitute | Financially Compensated Reproductive Organ Stimulation Assistant |
| Pro-Unwanted Child | Pro-Life |
| Religious Wingnut | Accuracy Deprived |
| Republican | Humanity Challenged |
| Slut/Player | Intimately Available Person |
| Terrorists | Peace Challenged |
| Tramp | Financially Challenged |
| Transvestite | Ovarian Neutral |
| White Trash | Caucasian Organic Refuse |
| Shut-In | Socially Challenged |
| Uncyclopedia Editors | Extremely Socially Challenged |
| Wikipedia Editors | Suicidally Socially Challenged |
| Gender | |
|---|---|
| Man | Ovarian Challenged |
| Woman | Ovarian Advantaged |
| Disability | |
| Blind | Visually Challenged |
| Crippled | Differently Mobile |
| Dead | Mortally Challenged |
| Deaf | Audibly Challenged |
| Fat Midget | Bidimensionally Abnormal |
| Fat People | Gravitationally Gifted |
| Idiot | Accuracy Deprived |
| Midgets | Vertically Challenged |
| Retard | Intellectually Differently Abled |
| Those With Small Hands | Digitally Disadvantaged |
| Race Or Nationality | |
| Americans | Armed Religious Zealots |
| Black | Absorbing All Wavelengths Of The Visual Spectrum |
| Dot Or Feather? | Indian-American Or American Indian? |
| English | Tea And Crumpet Advantaged |
| French People | Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys |
| Hindus | Call Centre Advantaged |
| Imperialists | Russians |
| Irish | Potato-Farming Leprechauns |
| Italians | Pasta Advantaged |
| Jews | Persons Of The Faith Of Judaism |
| Mexicans | Undocumented Citizens |
| Niggers | Multiple People Who Absorb All Wavelengths Of The Visual Spectrum |
| Orientals | Asian People |
| White | Reflecting All Wavelengths Of The Visual Spectrum |
Gallery
Software was already PC, haha, get it? I don't think you get it.
How did he draw that with a pencil?!?
See also
- Inclusivity
- Intelligent women
- It's Politically Incorrect So It Must Be Funny
- Trigger warning
- UnNews:Cancer is racist
Footnotes
- ↑ Gracias por los Estadounidenses hable Espanol.
- ↑ Ebonics version for use in the "African-American" communities, ask the Oakland public school district, they said it is a real language.
- ↑ Thanks to the European Union, but I forgot if this was Estonian or Finnish, not Euskara.
- ↑ Merci beaucoup, French-Canadian version, not the Parisian French version... oui, oui, euro'pee'in.
- ↑ Korean is one of California's 100 official languages printed in documents like the DMV handbooks.
- ↑ White people are encouraged to learn this language, we are a globalized economy, dominated by the Yellow... er, I mean "Asian" race. Remember not all Chinx (Chinese people of varying genders) are alike, nor do they look the same, RACIST!
- ↑ Again, the PC movement wants to protect very rare endangered languages, like animal species. This one is Euskara or the Basque language in Spain and France, go figure.
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