10,000 days

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The relevance of the number 10,000 days varies between many belief systems. However, it is strangely prominent amongst most. The number itself was invented by L Ron Hubbard in 2007 at which time he realised that the highest anyone had ever counted to was 9,999. This person was Captain Obvious, as documented in his self-help guide "Intellectual Strength: Counting is Easy".

10,000 days in religion[edit | edit source]

An incredibly tasty Chicken Sandwich

Scientology[edit | edit source]

In Scientology, 10,000 refers to the year in which lord Xenu ate his first chicken sandwich. He was so delighted with the result that he changed X-mas to international chicken sandwich day. Riding on a wave of inspiration, Xenu killed the human race in celebration.

In more modern times the number 10,000 is still prominent in Scientology. For example, it takes approximately 10,000 days to pay for your first session with a trained auditor, and a further 10,000 years to become a level 2 Scientologist. Becoming a level 3 Scientologist (Or Level 7 thief) requires your soul. Given that you'll be dead before you can pay for your first level-up, your soul belongs to this organization by default and you become a level 3 only upon your own death. Ironically, it costs $10,000 for family wishing to buy your soul back. Conincidentally, that isn't irony at all.

A local scientologist shops for groceries

Christianity[edit | edit source]

10,000 is actually the extended version of the holy quadrilogy. The holy quadrilogy is the extended version of the holy trinity. The holy quadrilogy was invented by Germaine Greer In 19711 when she became outraged over the man to woman ratio in the holy trinity. She extended the father, son and holy spirit to include the holy beaver. When praying, Christians who believe in the Holy Quadrilogy gesture towards the Holy Beaver by firmly grasping their crotch. The Holy Beaver is actually a reference to mother Mary. 10,000 is an extension of the Holy Quad that refers to the number of men Mary slept with prior to the "miraculous" birth of Jesus.

A local politician finishes his prayers

Toolology[edit | edit source]

In Toolology, 10,000 is the number of pseudo psychological references made by Maynard James Keenan every 10,000 seconds. That's 7 references a second! These references range from Jung's archetypes of the unconscious to Oedipus Rex and the desire to "sex up" one's mother (as demonstrated in the song 'Prison Sex'). Other instances of the number 10,000 include the average number of minutes in every song released by Tool and the number of years it takes them to release an album. In all of Tool's albums there are a hidden allusion to the number 10,000.

Tool's albums[edit | edit source]

  • Dante's Inferno - Dante is the main character in "Clerks," "Clerks" is directed by Kevin Smith, who is from New Jersey, which is a state in the USA. The United States is in the Western Hemisphere, which was discovered as the New World in 1493, following another voyage in 1524. These two numbers added together amount to 3017. This number multiplied by Kevin Smith's weight in metric tons (3.31) is 10,000. (Also the length of the album).

Mathemology albums[edit | edit source]

There are a staggering number of 10,000 allusions in maths. Just observe these ancient old maths transcripts:

See also[edit | edit source]