Santanism
If you are directly receiving messages from santa when he enters our dimension Just write your messages here:[edit | edit source]
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
In the later time, there has been signs that The Chatolic Church has been trying to jump on the growing Pop-culture around the santanism. The Pope has f.ex. been wearing the traditional and partially holy hat usually worn by santa himself. This picture is the final proof!
“Santanism all started at the begining of time when santa pulled the whole universe out of his magic bag! Later Santa decided to bless one planet with his holy presence, so he tied a flaming baby to his wiener and spun it until it fired itself at a random planet which ended up being the first human on our planet ... In bed.”
“ In my professional Opinion I believe that because I am Santa I should tell the story.... I lurk in an alternate dimension thet is where my workshop is.... but its not a workshop I just sit on my couch and wait for some show with subtitles to come on because somtimes they have nude scenes ... But sereously If I didnt pull stuff out of my bag every day I would Explode and every christmas I unload all that junk into your house. .”
“ Im GeTtInG A mEsSaGe Oh My GoD "hdrufcybgyrfcgsy Eat your soal uregbcurgbke exploding baby fetus bhgberyjfgbyetsxfgvb sexually assaulting some salt!" now the message is... Santa loves everybod but not bigfoot....... or the so calles "scientists who make Colgate Toothpaste... That stuff is SHIT! .”
History[edit | edit source]
Before Santanism was introduced to Norway in the 80's, the official religion was Pasdafrian and Norways leader was called Pope Bill Nye The Science gonnoreah. In the year of 1979, in one of the two supermarkets existing in Norway (the one situated off the coast of George Bush) two deranged and drunk vikings (died out in 1980 as a cause of Pope John Paul II's not-so-successful attempts to be the most popular Dragqueen-Bob Sagget- Marshmallow) were trying to sell liquid Armadillo's in bottles called Coca-Cola, a beverage collected one one not so famous viking-raid to England. Santa sent images of himself through the alternate dimension he uses accessable only by he who HOLDS THE BAG!, and they liked the pictures of the big fat man (who shows all signs of bulemi) and how he were dressed in the colour of 999BLOOD999! Since they were heavily drunk on karsk and moonshine after some barjumping yesterday they believed that their only purpose in life was obeying their true allmighty SANTACLAUSE! They forced their new religion on space Otters, The original cast of That 70's show, the Flying spaghetti monsters grandmother and other half squid Giant englishmen. (including the Norwegians) plus 7 toasters fused together with liquid Aardvarks (which were to walk on the moon one year later accompanied by chinese people and the very few Babies who where not on fire!) No-one could resist the loving hugs of santas army of elves and snowmen, this will eventually lead to the worlds destruction in 2012 when santa decides to put the world back in his bag puting the world in chaos by turning everything that is not PEOPLE! into christmas wrapping (including water and all the Chinchillas).