God Hates Australia

Turns out Fred was just jealous of Heath

The mighty Westboro Baptist Church, lead by Reverend Faghater, have officially informed the citizens of Australia that God hates them. It's nothing personal, they just tell all of the fag ass perverts what He told them.

There are a number of reasons why God feels such an extreme hatred toward this particular country, many of which happen to be the same reasons he hates every other country in the world.

God hates people who talk & spell funny

Fred's fu*king faggots explanation:

When God is being prayed to and thanked for all the suffering he kindly unleashes on his fags, he likes to be able to understand what is being said. This really doesn't work when Australians tend to sound like they're not even speaking English. Their displays of faggotry, however, go far beyond their speech. God hates people who insist on spelling words with a 'u', when clearly this letter is not needed (this is also one of the reasons why God hates Canada, but that's a different hate altogether). God's favorite way of spelling "color" is like so, and anyone who spells it the fag way is clearly not doing themselves any favors. God has made it clear he has no sense of humor when it comes to this issue.

God hates people who put the day before the month

When God created the Earth on 21 September, 4000 BC, he wrote in his diary (using the suitable u-free spelling of words):

September 21

Created world full of fags and fag enablers. I was lying about all that "love" stuff, I hate them. Every one of them. Except for my beloved Westboro Baptist Church, who will join me in my kingdom should some terrible, unfortunate and unplanned accident happen to occur.

Since this was written by God himself, it is therefore perfect and should be used as an example by fags everywhere. Australia's tendency to put the day before the month is therefore showing their love for Satan himself.

God hates people who throw shrimp on the barbie

Note: Australians actually call them prawns, not shrimp.

Worth going to Hell for?

If there's one thing God hates more than fags, it's shrimp. As a shellfish, having no fins or scales, shrimp is an abomination (Leviticus 11:12) and detestable before God, who prefers a variety of light, flaky whitefish. Australians, not content with offending God only once, but constantly wanting to "throw another shrimp on the barbie," are the worst shrimp-fags of all. Westboro has considered whether or not to kidnap one of the worst offenders, Crocodile Dundee, but have decided against this. It is a well known fact that Australians as a whole suffer more from having Dundee around.

Westboro is currently planning to picket backyard barbeques across the nation.

God hates people who drive on the left side of the road

• The left hand side of the road is the fag side of the road. Jesus walked on the right side of the road.
• God hates road signs which are on the left side of the road.
• God hates fag road signs which say "Keep Left".
• Only fags own Right Hand Drive cars. God hates Right Hand Drive car owners. Don't you fag Aussies get it? All road fatalities in Australia involve Right Hand Drive vehicles.
• God hates people who overtake on the right. Every fag in Australia overtakes on the right.
• God hates people who look to the right first, before crossing the road. Do not teach your children to look right before they cross the road or God may strike them down.
• God hates people who go clockwise in Traffic Circles and Roundabouts.
• God hates fags who drive slowly in the left lane. In Australia all the slow vehicles drive in the left lane.
• God hates freeway exits which are on the left.
• God hates fags who park on the left side of the road.
• God hates fags who change gears in manual cars with their left hand. The left hand is an abomination unto God (hence the fact that all the good people are in God's RIGHT hand) and should not be used for changing gears in manual cars.

God hates Tasmania

Map of the Australian state of Tasmania. Try not to look as God may strike you down.

• God hates Tasmania. This fag and dyke infested Australian island state is an abomination. God will strike down anybody who even looks at a Map of Tasmania.
• God hates Ho-bart. The state capital is full of hoes.
• God hates Tasmanian Devils and the fag Tasmanians who worship them. Don't you stupid fag Tasmanians even know that God hates the Devil?
• God hates Taz the fag Looney Tunes Tasmanian Devil and his fag cross-dressing lipstick wearing mail-order bride.
• God hates apples. In God's first book he forbids apples, but you stupid fag enablers still call it "Tasmania the Apple Isle".
• God hates Van Diemen's Land Van Demon's Land. Did you guys really think that changing the name to Tasmania after a fag Dutch sailor, would make any difference?
• God hates King Island. There is no King on King Island, they are all Queens!
• God hates Bass Strait. Bass isn't straight! Bass is a fag!
• God hates people who kill tigers.
• God hates people with two heads.

More reasons why God hates Australia

• God hates things down under. Those fag enablers in Australia are upside down at the bottom of the world.
• God hates places where the seasons are opposite. Those stupid fag Aussies have winter while everybody else has summer and have summer while everybody else has winter.
• God hates places where it is night while everybody else is having daytime. Those fag Aussies are sleeping while everywhere else it's daytime.
• God hates fags who feed their babies to dingos. God also hates babies who eat dingoes.
• God hates people who feed their babies to crocodiles.
• God hates fags who cuddle koala bears.
• God hates Queensland. This Australian state is bigger than Texas but why do you think they called it "Queens" land? Because it's full of queens! Take note you fag Queenslanders, you are doomed!
• God hates people who wear hats with crocodile teeth on them.
• God hates people who wear hats with corks hanging off them.
• God hates people who wear thongs on their feet.
• God hates crocs because they're fugly!
• God hates Rupert Murdoch.
• God hates the Metric system.
• God hates people who use 240 volt mains power.
• God hates the PAL system, DVB system, Region 2 Blu-Ray players and region 4 DVD players that are PAL enabled. PAL and DVB are codewords for FAG.
• God hates all the penguins and seals and ice in the Australian Antarctic Territory.
• God hates sheep
• God hates fags who don't weigh over 160kg, just like everyone back in good ol' Kansas.

God hates other Uncyclopedia articles

• God Hates Fags
• Westboro Baptist Church
• Things God Hates According to Fred Phelps
• Creationist Views on Australia
• Australia Does Not Exist
• Darwin (Northern Territory)

God hates external links

• God Hates Australia
• God Hates Shrimp
• Australia Loves Westboro

  AustraliaSo where the bloody hell are you?