The Chaser

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The Chaser declares War on APEC

“Now we're doing a satire on a satire!”

~ Uncyclopedia on The Chaser

“Now we're doing a satire on a satire of a satire. ENDLESS PARADOX!!!101ONEHUNDREADANDONE!!!”

~ The Chaser on Uncyclopedia

“Yo dawg I herd you like satire....”

~ Xzibit on Satire

“We're the best thing that could have happened to each other”

~ Today Tonight on The Chaser

“The Chaser ignores the people, so call them at home on (02) 9922 6189”

~ John Howard on The Chaser

The Suburban Chaser Party is an Australian political party which values loud music, alcohol, and fireworks. They fall somewhere in the middle between the ALP and the Liberals, as well as somewhere between Today Tonight and A Current Affair. They have caused plenty of controversy for their views, although what those views actually are has also been the subject of some controversy. All that is known for certain is that they're pissed off at something, possibly all the controversy they've caused.

The Chaser were the actual winners of the last Australian Federal Election, after a successful campaign endorsed by Osama bin Laden.

Members[edit | edit source]

  • Andrew Hansen is the leader of the gang. Don't ask why, he just is. It could possibly have something to do with how talented he is.
  • Charles Firth is the most left-wing member of The Chaser. In fact, he's probably the most left-wing person in Australia. Except when he's in America, in which case the rest of the people employed by the ABC share the title equally. Charles was sent to America to prove to the Australian people that there is, in fact, a nation out there scarier than theirs.
  • Chas Licciardello is a long lost son of Osama bin Laden who favours terrorism as means of getting his point across. This has proved very popular with The Chaser's supporters, even though no one's quite sure what the hell his point was in the first place. Still, it's widely supported.
  • Craig Reucassel was the poor, disadvantaged public school boy that The Chaser took and made into whatever it is that he is today.
  • Dom Knight is the possibly non-existant member of The Chaser team. The rest of the team often mention him and several people have actually claimed to have seen him, but so far no firm evidence has actually surfaced.

CNNNN[edit | edit source]

Remember, a War on Everything is a War on Everything

The Chaser NoN stop News Network was a news show that frequently came under fire from Today Tonight and A Current Affair for its use of sensational-style reporting and lack of morality. This made The Chaser quite angry, and they used their influence at the ABC to send that dick from Media Watch after them.

CNNNN was later satirized by Fox News when Fox took the slogan "We report, you decide" and changed it to the nonsense statement "We report, you believe".

The War on Everything[edit | edit source]

In 2006, The Chaser became fed up with all the attention that was being given to the people involved in the War on Terror (if you just ignore them, they'll cut it out, right?), and decided to launch their own war. However, they couldn't decide what to launch it on, as most of the things they didn't like (terror, cold, golf...) had already been the subject of wars. In the end, they realized what bastards they really were and decided to launch a War on Everything.

The War on Everything raged until 2007, when they were all thrown in jail. They didn't stay long, when their friends Al Kyder and Terry Wrist went to their rescue and blew the prison up.The chaser are the Gods of uncyclopedia. It's true. I swear. BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They made a bold return in 2009 with The Chaser's Waste Of Taxpayers Money, proving once again that the Governments knows how to spend its money! They are due to be thrown into jail in Mid-2010, the reason as of late is still unconfirmed. A White Paper released by the Australian Defence Force confirmed the Chaser Team as Public Enemy Number One, taking the the position over from Peter Costello, as a result of his retirement. Because of the White Paper the Chaser team have now been confirmed as being in hiding, inside the Ultimo, Sydney ABC Studios. A newspaper released a report claiming that the Chaser were subsequently caught and sent to Area 51 for testing and probing.

In July 2010 Andrew Hansen and Chris Taylor were sent to Australia, following their release from Area 51. They now plan to settle down and start a family in Sydney. Allegations that the rest of the Chaser team were killed have been refuted by the American Government with President Obama stating "My fellow Americans, I took the Chaser Team to study their ways for they are the only people cooler than me. Murder was never an option. The rest of the Team will be released in 2013 and will be tagged and constantly monitored".

See also[edit | edit source]

External links[edit | edit source]