Rove McManus
“Say "Hi" to your mum for me”
“Next in What The?, an entry from Adam from Mamungkukumpurangkuntjunya Hill, he SURE does!”
“Why should we? Even she thinks you suck balls, Rove”
Rove McAnus (real name: Mohammad Fritzenwanker III) is an Australian *cough* "comedian" from either Melbourne, Victoria, or Perth, Western Australia. He's not sure which. His father is Daryl Somers, host of the long since forgotten "Hey Hey It's Shataday". He is well known for his "hilarious" "Here I am, laugh at me" style of "comedy" which he co-founded with Ellen DeGeneres. Rove was also the last Australian "comedian" to become George Bush's senior advisor, according to Kim Beazley. But hey, this is Australian television we're talking about.
Rove (the guy)[edit | edit source]
Rove was born in an Easy-Bake oven. Despite this, he was actually quite fond of people as a youngster, and enjoyed making them laugh. However, once he realized that people were actually laughing at his PEZ dispenser collection, rather than with his PEZ dispenser collection, he moved to the more weirdo-friendly city of Melbourne. He was instantly given the title of "comedian". He went to collage to learn to be funny, And failed. He has been hailed as being funny as stale smegma. And you know the sad part.... Thats true.
Rove's Wikipedia "article" was once protected from "edits" because "vandals" kept inserting "quotes" around the word "comedian". However, it was recently unprotected, so go nuts don't do it again. It's hilarious not "funny". Apparently now if you quote "comedian" you get banned from Wikipedia for 48 hours because, according to the Daily Telegraph, Herald Sun, Courier Mail, The Australian, Advertiser, Queensland Country Life and other shitty newspapers, Rove is a fucking pussy.
Rove has purchased won three Gold Logies, which is a very impressive achievement, except for the fact that Daryl Somers has also purchased won three Gold Logies. Compare Rove McAnus and Jay Leno side-by-side and there are similarities.
Rove (the show)[edit | edit source]
Rove's primary method of communication with the masses is his TV show, creatively named Rove. The writing credits for this show go to Rove's PEZ dispensers. Rove was first broadcast on the Nine Network, which back then was not run by solely by Eddie McGuire. Perhaps for this reason the people who did run the network back then were smart enough to cancel the show. Rove is now on Network Ten, with it's host well on the way to becoming "Ten's Eddie".
The cast of Rove is carefully hand-picked by Rove himself, based on "comedic" value, past experience, and how tall they make him look by comparison. He always ends this show with his catchphrase, "Say "Hi" to your Mum for me" (or possibly "Say "Hi" to your Mom for me", since we all know he secretly wishes he was American... well not really. Because we all know Americans are gay), because mother jokes are really creative. Hell, he could be an Uncyclopedian.
Are you smarter than a fifth grader?[edit | edit source]
Are you smarter than a fifth grader? is a television gameshow hosted by Rove McMain-arse in which children learn their A's through to Zed's Zee's. They do this by moving along sidewalks searching different coloured trashcans for dimes, eating twinkies and channeling George Washington through a ouija board. The winner (the first child to raise a mock-up of the Iwo Jima flag) receives a peanut butter and jell-o sandwich and is fortunate enough to be sent home for some of mum's mom's apple pie without having to hear any of Rove's "comedy."
Rove Retires From TV[edit | edit source]
And thank fuck for that! Rove finally woke up one day and realized he was a no talent hack. Once he heard his father was bringing "Hey Hey It's Saturday" back on a Wedenesday night (that's funny, cause it's true) Rove decided there was not enough room on Australian television for two talentless hacks. Rove has since retired.
Cast of Rove[edit | edit source]
- Rove McManus - Most unnecessary cast member.
- Peter Helliar - Takes over while Rove is reapplying his makeup. He may also be the cause for Rove's obsession over who people would turn gay for. Sadly, Rove has not yet gathered the courage to ask this question to Peter.
- Dave Hughes - A very, very angry little man. When he isn't angry, he sits there and giggles a lot, this is probably the funniest part of the show. He answers letters from Rove's
goldfishfans. He also believes that if he shouts when trying to say something funny, the audience will erupt with laughter, which they do seeing they are in Rove's pocket. Was fired after a Hater said to Rove that Hughes called him "A smelly pooface who licks the cheese from under Eminem's nuts"
- Ryan Shelton - Like Dave Hughes, but not as angry. He doesn't giggle as much, either. And unlike Hughes, hasn't been fired.
- Carrie Bickmore (dickmore) - Believed to be the inspiration for Today Tonight character Anna Coren. She presents the news "at the news desk". This is the same desk McManus sits at, due to Channel 10's massive desk shortage. She was fired for paying McAnus not to play a sex tape including her and Dave Hughes and a monkey.
- Kristy Warner - Replaced Dickmore after the Hughes/Warner incident, not as professional as Bickmore but far younger and does not use botox. Unlike Bickmore she cannot keep a straight face whenever the word "Penis" is said.
- Brian Wenzel - Appears on the most unnecessary part of the show "Wheres Wenzel" this is the worst part of the show his I dare say humour is as funny as a old smelly sock and looks much like an elephant's behind.
- Hamish Blake and Andy Lee - Two
gaysguys that sit and laugh at their own experiences and believe that everyone else will also find it funny.
- Judith Lucy - Who knows for sure, she is stoned most of the time.
- Haydo and Nick - The lesser cast, appear in small segments, and are rather talentless. Suspected to be lovers.
- Rove's Mum - Often featured on the show via telephone, not because she's just as much of a "comedian" as her son, but because this is the only time she can establish contact with him. That ungrateful little prick.
- Special Guests - Ranging from the Prime Minister to Leader of the Opposition, Rove makes sure that each and every one of his guests is truly special, and even Rove himself was the guest on his own show due to cutbacks.
YAY FOR AUSSIES
External links[edit | edit source]
