Communication
“...”
“Communicatin'? Don't go around with that communi- prefix talk! We solve our problems with gunshots!”
Communication refers to the transmission of information. Communication commonly exists with humans through languages, which can come up like this:
Person 1: Fuck you!
Person 2: Fuck you!
Person 1: I fucked your mother!
Person 2: I fucked your mother AND father!
Person 1: I fuck you when you're asleep!
Person 2: Fuck you!
Person 1: Yeah, I do fuck you, dumbass!
Person 2: I fuck all your family members excluding anyone under the age of consent!
Person 1: I fucked your grandma and that's why she's paraplegic!
Nice way of words, eh? Humans do, surprisingly, communicate without use of vulgarity, in fact they may not talk at all and use their body or their face. Like for example, if you hit yourself in the head really hard and blood starts coming out, the other person can decode that you are really fucking stupid. Non-humans like plants or animals also communicate with each other, ranging from sex to how the hell do we get around this leaf? We've also been nerdy enough to try to communicate with extraterrestrials, which has gone as great as you think it has, because throwing metal in space with Chuck Berry does universal things.
Types of communication[edit | edit source]
Verbal[edit | edit source]
Verbal communication is the most common out of all the communicati. Since humans do not know when to shut up two-thirds of the time, humans use their vocal chords to make sounds, also known as "talk". They use this really nifty human invention called "words" to make up sentences. Examples include "I'm going to assassinate the president", "Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo", and "I burned about thirty-six orphanages in the past week". There are a lot of people who sadly can't communicate the same like us. We call these people "faulty transmitters". These may include
- People who are mute
- People who have a jaw that doesn't work
- People who have all their teeth removed
- People who have tape over their mouths (may or may not also be tied to a chair)
- Assholes who don't want to talk to me
- Dead people
- People that are being eaten by a bear and have the audacity only to scream
- People who scream with no reason why (pro: not being eaten by bear)
These people don't understand the fundamental idea of communication, which is to exchange information. Communication is great due to it being someone sharing information you may not know to you, which helps us survive and thrive! Sadly, these people have never understood the joys of that. That's why we usually just segregate and discriminate them, or let them be killed by the bear, or just let the kidnapper tying them to a chair to mutilate them and eat their flesh.
Nonverbal[edit | edit source]
Nonverbal communication is communication which uses things other than your mouth. You can use your hands, your face, your dick, your body, everything is on-limits. Examples include ear-wiggling, eye-popping, erection and lip-quivering. Non-verbal communication is usually, however, very hard to follow, and might be interpreted in different ways (see the image on your right). Usually, the "faulty transmitters" that we talked about earlier do usually use this instead of speaking with their mouths, for example if you're tied to a chair and have tape over your mouth, you'd probably want to sign to anyone looking through the window to break in and kill the kidnapper (although you may want to wonder why they were looking through the window and- oop, now they're mutilating you and eating you alive).
Interpersonal[edit | edit source]
Interpersonal communication is communication between two or more people and can include family, work, or really any place where there are more than two people. I don't know, think of the first thing that comes to your head? Anything?, Anything? Don't worry, it'll be in your head in a second. Usually, though, interpersonal communication is something we deal with every day, and usually isn't tied to any horrible events throughout history that happened to a specific group. I hope you weren't thinking that. They can differ between synchronous and asynchronous. Synchronous is when people take turns speaking. Think films. Asynchronous is when people don't care about whatever the person has to say and just parrot without any rhyme or reason. Think debates and overall the real world. For example, if you're tied to a chair and have tape over your mouth, you probably had an interpersonal communication by saying "PLEASE! JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T PAY MY TAXES DOESN'T MEAN I DESERVE THIS!" when the kidnapper did the deed.
Intrapersonal[edit | edit source]
Intrapersonal communication (also known as I have no friends) is communication between me, myself, and I. This actually happens frequently when you're writing a diary or a shopping list, but we all know about that one time when you're exchanging with yourself or daydreaming, right? Yeah, that's intrapersonal communication. Maybe you don't know how to say out a word so you playback it in your head before you say it. (mutilate.. mutilate.. mutilate..) For example, if you're tied to a chair and have tape over your mouth, you have an intrapersonal communication with yourself about all the best parts your life had before you die, especially when you had so many loopholes to dodge taxes since 2004.
Modern communication[edit | edit source]
The internet (what you're using right now) has basically revolutionized communication, y'know, the "you being able to send a message to anyone in the world at any time" part. Now, you don't have to cross oceans to talk to a Hawaiian, now you can just use the internet! It only takes one tweet for you to say "you know who really sucks? The Fresno State Bulldogs" from Honolulu! Even if science is still working on a way for you to teleport to punch the said person who said that, due to your love of the Rainbow Warriors as an alumni, we've come so far from the ancient caveman gruntings, communication now being better than ever before! Even if it's used for.. unsavory practices. Well, that was the Uncyclopedia article on communication. Please go have a intrapersonal talk with yourself on where to go next on this website, or even better, leave this hellhole.