Communication in Estonia
ETV[edit | edit source]
It has come to international attention that mysterious forces active in Estonia have joined and have created the "ETV". Although Nobody knows for sure what these letters stand for, there are several theories:
- Estonian Testicle Venom
- Elders at a Table of Vodka
- Ethnical Tolerance of Violence
- Elliptic Toilet View
- Eternal Toothed Vagina
- Eggrolls with Tequila and Vermouth
- Estonian Tails with Vodka
Their original purpose is to reunite Saudi-Arabia and Estonia like it had been 12 centuries ago. The only way to accomplish this, is by the use of politics. They created their own party ( Estonian Pensioner's Union) and even brought Television into Estonia in order to use it to win the next elections. There are as many members in there as there are Elements in Idiotic Table of the Elements and each of them have their own element by which they are known. Their leader Hillar Nahkman(aka Krypton, only proof of his existence)is the primary cause of Estonian low Population growth, he believes that once Estonian population drops below 5 humans, Estonians have no choice but to ask saudi-arabians to join them. The Future of Estonia is grim because of ETV, the only way to save Estonia is to vote for Keskerakond (The Centre party - in fact it's the Estonian branch of the Soviet United Nations) at the next elections.
Hot.ee[edit | edit source]
Hot.ee is critically acclaimed for running the first electronic mail server powered entirely by potatoes. This innovative approach ensures the stability and quality of the service. It is a courtesy of Elion. Every email sent using Hot.ee, gives African children 3 peanuts (the peanut-shells are then donated to Russia). It is full of hotties. Most of them are named some variation of Liis (Lis, Lïïs, Liiis, Liis-Elisabeth, or Lis-Liis-OhgodyesLiiis).
Rate.ee[edit | edit source]
Altough Rate.ee is cleverly disguised to look like an average internet community it is actually all that remains of the Soviet Union. Any user who enters the correct password will get a package during a period of 2 seconds, the contents of which is VERY illegal in all countries. Alongside the illegal contents usually lies a self-destructing piece of paper. If one should fail to read and memorize the instructions on it the paper will explode with a force of 8 sticks of TNT. But, if one would memorize the instructions, the writing on the page will change. The new content usually says something like this: "If you fail your mission, even God won't help you!" The mission usually involves blowing something or someone up, Or if you're lucky you might get a job as a pizza boy in Pizzeria near you. But the job changes in time to smuggling canabis to other countries. But there have been cases where a person only has to run to the corner shop and buy vodka for fellow comrades back in Freezeyourassoffaztan. Discussing any of this will probably be life-threatkhkhkhkhk...
Fun Facts[edit | edit source]
- Number of users: About 19 times the population of Estonia. Most people have about 20 shadow accounts, so they could rate more people and more people could hate them.
- Rate.ee is maintained by Russia, which is the most likely reason why Russia sucks.