Pascal's wager

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Pascal's Tombstone

Pascal's Wager is a bet placed by the philosopher Blaise Pascal against God. Blaise Pascal was born a while ago atop the Eiffel Tower in 1623 with the terminal illness known as "Being French" – which caused him much discomfort throughout his shortened life. Pascal's notable achievements include inventing the triangle and killing his father at the age of 19.

Ironically, Pascal died after walking into a bar, whose barkeep asked Pascal if he would like a beer. To which Blaise replied "I THINK NOT" and he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Pascal's Zeusophobia[edit | edit source]

Pascal, like many Americans and medieval peasants suffered from Peccatophobia (fear of imaginary crimes) Papophobia (fear of the pope) and extreme Deophobia (fear of God). Fortunately he did not suffer from Mythoraphobia and was not frightened by religion. Following a near-death experience at the hands of a horse, Pascal contracted Christianity due to his dulled sense of reality and skepticism following the accident.

Challenges to the Argument[edit | edit source]

Well it's not really believing is it? Is it?!.... Oi, you! I asked "IS IT!?!??!"[edit | edit source]

This challenge says that if you believe in God because of the potential gains or punishments you would receive for believing or not believing – you are a lying cheating heretic and you will burn in hell for eternity anyway.

What if you believe in the wrong god?[edit | edit source]
What if you believe in God, and it actually turns out that the universe was created by a giant clump of tangled spaghetti with two eyestalks, two meatballs, and many noodly appendages? You may then suffer eternity in a pasta-centric hell.

Why not some other god or divine being? The Flying Spaghetti Monster or The Teapot, for example.

Good question. And that is why Pascal is dead and we are not.





FIN.