It's hard out here for a pimp
“Really? I always found it quite easy.”
“Waaaaoooouughhh!”
"It's hard out here for a pimp" is the core tenet of every belief system on the planet. Every religion, philosophy, idea or crude joke in the world can be traced back to these five words. (Yes. And one vowel. Thank you, Vanna.)[1]
History[edit | edit source]
Fortunately for historians, there is a complete document, passed down through the ages, describing in minute detail the entire history of this most important phrase. It's called the Bible. Though most translations leave out the following data, more radical historians have come to agree with Professor J. Wayne, PHd on his 1965 translation.
Biblical Translation[edit | edit source]
In the Bible, Episode 1 (A New Hope) God [2] says:
EXT - BLACKNESS - DAY GOD: Damn! For shizzle it's black as night out here! No response. GOD: Yo! Any brothas up in heah? No response. GOD: It's hard, out here, for a pimp! God pulls out his 9 and BLASTS the universe into existence.
Industrial Uses[edit | edit source]
Following the Enron scandal, Amy Lee, then only 12 years old, discovered that everyone involved was innocent because, as she put it, "It was hard, out here, for a pimp - and a vampire!"
Health and Safety[edit | edit source]
Many pimps can lead to a sudden loss of consciousness if inhaled in large amounts. Pimps like E-Rad and Chocho have been used as narcotics for a long time. E-Rad is a widely used and abused psychoactive drug. Chocho and many other pimps (e.g. from gasoline or glues) are used recreationally, often with harmful long term health effects like neurotoxicity or cancer or permanent blindness. In other words, it's hard up in there for a pimp.