Totally Torah: Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers.

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The Holy Bible: more than just a mediocre Manic Street Preachers album, it seems

Billy Graham on Rock music.

The best three for one offer since My Father, Myself and My Holy Ghost

Jesus on The publishing of 'Totally Torah : Exodus,Leviticus and Numbers'.

Exodus[edit]

• Israelites take leisurely Egyptian break despite incomplete pyramid resort.

Pharaoh adopts strict one-child-policy.

Dingo-abducted baby mysteriously found in River Nile.


Moses was lucky to escape the attack of the Egyptian octopus corps.
God's ire was placated when the Israelites created a display-case in which to show his carvings.

Moses shoots passer-by in mall-rampage.

• Hides out at desert safe-house.

Crack-binge causes hallucinations of burning bushes and land flowing with milk and honey.


• Pharaoh rejects unionised labour on new pyramid project.

Moses becomes shop-steward, begins campaign of direct action.

Union-violence condemned following death of Egyptian first-born.


• Israelites flee.

• Egyptian army fail to learn lessons from life-guard training.

• Israelites enjoy protracted team-building exercise in Sinai Desert.


God gives Israelites deeds to Canaan along with 10-point instruction manual.

• Israelites take unhealthy interest in Livestock.

• Angry God placated with ornate gift box in which to keep His handicrafts.

Vulture chick meat is tender but still forbidden.

Leviticus.[edit]

• Protracted negotiations on lease of Canaan.

• Aaron and sons anointed priests. Sons die after playing with matches.

• Don’t eat pigs; oysters dodgy; best avoid vultures.

Numbers[edit]

Insert Ass joke here.

• Israelites back out of attack on Canaanites, opting for a forty year camping trip in Sinai.

• Bored, angry God sends plague, seems surprised when people lose faith.

• Moses’ conjuring tricks distract the unfaithful.


• Conquest of Canaan proves to be little more than talking out of Balaam's ass.

• Local hookers induce Israelite men into playing Baal.

Coup d'etat places Joshua at head of military junta.

Bonus Track.[edit]

Deuteronomy Doo-wop.


See Also[edit]

Totally Torah: Genesis