Nile

This article discusses the Nile as a whole. For further information about certain parts of it, click there.

A picture of the lower half of Niles (taken from 20 metres back)

The Nile (pronounced the same as Denial) is one of the longest puddles in the world. It was first named after an Englishman named Niles who was really long and skinny and quite often wet. A couple of his friends were known to have explored Egypt and upon the discovery of the Nile (which really wasn't that hard to discover considering how long it is) they noticed the faint resemblance to their friend, Niles. Thus they changed the river name from the native name (really, really, really, really, really long river, or in the native Egyptian, Shaq) to Nile as a practical joke. The name still remains in place today.

The beautification project

In the late 1980s the Egyptian Government decided to Westernize their country to attract tourists. They began this process by introducing many foreign species into the Nile to make it more interesting.

• Angel Fish
• Devil Fish
• Kittens
• Mexicans
• Trout
• Tuna
• Dio Brando
• More Tuna
• Opposition-party politicians

It was a disaster. The furrier of these species all either drowned or emigrated to find better jobs. Two of the species turned out to be natural enemies, and the Angel and Devil fish didn't get along either. However, many other animals still flourish today at both ends of the Nile, where you can expect to catch large netfuls of trout and tuna. Of course when the kittens and the opposition party politicians crossbred there were some alarming results, e.g. a new breed of Llama distantly related to those in the Amazon.

The three parts of the Nile

• The White Nile
• The Blue Nile
• De Nile

The band

Apparently, these group of metalheads loved the river so much, they decided to make a death metal band about it, writing short songs with very long titles such as "Papyrus Containing the Spell to Preserve Its Possessor Against Attacks From He Who is in the Water" and "Chapter for Not Being Hung Upside Down on a Stake in the Underworld and Made to Eat Feces by the Four Apes".