Doomsday
“You know, one of these days someone is gonna say, 'Doomsday is coming on such-and-such date,' and they'll actually be right this time, but no one will care because everyone will be dead. Because it's Doomsday.”
Doomsday (The Apocalypse, The End of the World, Ragnarok, The Day of Reckoning, etc., etc.) is a Christian holiday that celebrates the end of the world, God's judgment finally come, the salvation of the righteous, and laughing at all the sinners who are now totally screwed. Doomsday is traditionally celebrated on September 11, but not if the 11th falls on a Monday. If this happens, the holiday is moved to Wednesday.
Early History[edit | edit source]
As with most Christian holidays, Doomsday was ripped off from some obscure pagan ritual. Some priest slapped down some symbolism to go with the pagan stuff and BAM!--authentic Christian holiday. The first Doomsday was begun by St. Peter and Nostradamus circa 38 A.D. when they predicted general doom for the Roman on the 11th of September, five years hence. They were wrong, of course. The Jews of course were ticked at the new holiday. They felt that it had been ripped off from the Jewish feast of Armageddon. But then Christianity became cool, and there was nothing the Jews could do about the holiday.
The movie Doomsday is what would happen if emo's and goth's stopped being so depressed and stopped cutting themselves. This would result in them taking over a city and becoming a nation. Luckily for us goth's and emo's still are too depressed to do anything besides cut themselves, write bad poetry, and write stupid songs.
Celebrating Doomsday[edit | edit source]
There is no "right" way to celebrate Doomsday. This article breaks down celebration into two sections: traditional and non-traditional. Simple, no?
Traditional Celebration[edit | edit source]
The traditional celebration, also known as the Catholic celebration, is a long and boring affair filled with midnight Masses and copious amounts of alcohol. Early in the morning, children awake to find small gifts like mini-nukes and action figures of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Non-Traditional Celebration[edit | edit source]
The non traditional celebration is celebrated by George Dubya Bush(or other authority that can press the big red button ) launching tactical and/or un-tactical ICBMs at enemys, allies, and neutral nations and tiny specks of land that have no owner. Then, everyone that was at the reciving or sending end of a nuclear arnesal will celebrate a new seasons birth - Nuclear Winter. After all the fun, everyone lays down and dies or else get a fatal hiccup case. In rare cases, people might get infected with cancer. You can celebrate it any way you want, because its called 'Non Traditional'