Wikipedianity
Wikipedianity is a cultish Borg-like belief system that says all information must be assimiliated in accordance with NPOV. It is based on the model of the Red Cross, except for the part about helping people.
Hierarchy[edit | edit source]
- Jimbo (Uber-God)
- Administrators (Demi-gods)
- Experienced practitioners (do-gooders)
- Random practitioners (heretics)
- Your mom (Sacrifice)
Jimbo[edit | edit source]
Much has been written about Jimbo[1], and it's all true[2]. What is a little known fact is that the founder of Wikipedianity is actually a descendant of the Serpent Warrior Axxu, from the 5th planet of the third Sun in the Galaxy Of The Laughing Turtle. He came to Earth to save humanity from diversity and individuality. When he reincarnated is little known, although some critics would say it was in 1256 on the 3rd of August at 43:00 am. The sky roared and the oceans rolled that faithful morning (again critics disagree that it was actually at night. Three wars were fought over this dispute and 12 horses were killed). Unfortunately, there were no computers invented at the time so he left until such time as humanity was ready for his brilliance. He came back in the 21st Century in his spaceship, and this has become known as the 0.1 coming.
Administrators[edit | edit source]
This section will not dwell on the function of administrators in our modern world; see troll for further details on that. Here we will rather focus on the historical and mythical significance of these critters. In Babylonian, admin roughly translates as 'someone who shovels dung in futility and despair'. They were and still are very important in order to fulfill The Savior's dull visions. They get nothing back for their hard work, yet that is the very purpose of being an admin in Wikipedianity. In Atlantis, admins were legendary for their knee-jerk reactions, quick wit and five eyeballs. They've since been genetically engineered to blend in with the masses.
Experienced practitioners[edit | edit source]
Also known as 'do-gooders', these are the foot-soldiers. They make the Wikipedian universe revolve around the Moon, otherwise we would all fall off the edge. It is rumoured among the do-gooders that there is something called the Internet, yet most shrug it off as just a evil lie purported by heretics.
Random practitioners[edit | edit source]
No one really knows why they are part of Wikipedianity and where they come from. They disrupt the lack of order by contributing stuff to the community. Thanks to the admins and the do-gooders, they don't stick around for very long.
Quote[edit | edit source]
“It has been prophesized that when you only get hits from Wikipedia from any search engine anywhere in the Universe, Jimbo will Rule”
– The Xannu Mysteries, 1:32,45:67 vers 23 (author unknown)
Footnotes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Also known as 'The Savior' or 'The Champ' among friends.
- ↑ Except when you disagree, then it's not, except when someone else disagrees with you, then it is.
- ↑ In actuality, 'The Xannu Mysteries' do not exist, but 'Xannu - The Prophecy' does. There is not yet a reference to Wikipedia or Jimbo in this book, but who knows what the future may hold...