Coprophilia

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A coprophiliac ad campaign.

Coprophilia is the belief that shit is alive, has a soul and will reincarnate. And that shit has magical or mystical properties, and people who worship, use, consume, play with, and/or have sex with shit will be rewarded in the next life. Coprophilia is a pagan and female supremacist religion. While Coprophiliacs claim it to be perfectly natural, even the First Amendment is disgusted by it.

Coprophilia's main figure is Tubgirl.

Religious Practices and Beliefs[edit]

Coprophiliacs worship all things shit. While Coprophiliacs lack official scripture, it is a general custom to build a shrine to Tubgirl out of shit (preferably in one's closet) reflecting how Tubgirl shit and sculpted the entire world. They pray at the holy shrine’s base every day, wishing for shitty blessings. If they are blessed with shittiness, they should use it for good, not evil. Tubgirl is omnipresent and omniscient, indifferent and oblivious because She is fixated in the ecstasy She radiates to Her worshipers. She is a ’multi-faced’ Goddess, one aspect sucks, licks, and eats turds, another rubs shit everywhere and on everything, and the last aspect of Tubgirl is constantly shitting and re-stuffing shit in Her mouth, anus and vagina. Through Coprophiliacs acceptance that the purpose of life is to serve their Goddess Tubgirl by following Her rituals, to glorify Her by expressing Her divine power whenever possible, and to amuse Her by appeasing Her whims. Tubgirl provides answers, love, pride, protection, peace, and powers. Many Coprophiliacs are frequently successful people because it is empowering to choose when, where, and even how you want to poop.

Instead of praying on Sundays or before a meal, Coprophiliacs pray every time they shit, always expressing thanks to Tubgirl for Her gift of shit, and asking for plenty more.

Coprophiliacs do not believe in an afterlife. Rather, they believe in reincarnation. All Coprophiliacs believe that for a better next life, you must not use shit in vain. If you use all shit for noble purposes, you will return as a shit-log in the next life. The type of shit one returns as depends on the shitty deeds of the recently deceased. Returning as a brown log means that person lived a standard life of shit with no severe wrong doing. Returning as a green log means that person did not live a good life of shit. This person flushed his shit down the toilet. Returning as urine is the worst possible reincarnation, as this person never used shit in productive ways. On the flip side, returning as shit from Tubgirl's colon is the best possible reincarnation. In one ritual of Tubgirl, the living idol can intake enemas of urine, raise Her buttocks above Her, spread Her butt cheeks and shoot the urine out with Her shit like a fountain of shit & piss, thus forgiving a person's soul for a sin. Hopefully, the soul within the urine will grow from the experience and go on to live a good next life of shit as a Coprophiliac. The idol's enema of urine ritual is called the Nectar of Renewal and reserved to be performed on seasonal solstices and equinoxes.

Coprophilia can be considered a type of ancestor worship, Goddess worship and female supremacy, in that it connects one with very primordial roots. The clergy consists of priestess of whom one is chosen as a High Priestess and a Tubgirl living idol role. Once upon a time in our past - shit was respected and used for everything, from farms to grow food to early houses as mortar. It is not waste! Coprophiliacs believe that the idea of ‘waste’ is an unwholesome concept, and it is simply just more fun to play with shit than it is to lose precious shit down a toilet. Coprophiliac women are free to cuckold their husbands by having sex with as many other men as they desire, letting the men penetrate their cunts bareback if they wish. Some may let their husbands have sex with them, others may not, some may even lock their husband's penis in a chastity cage device and be his key holder. Coprophiliac men must be monogamous to women but may be polygamous to other men in homosexual relationships; some wives require the husband to let other men use him for sex; he accepts that he will be a cuckold in his marriage and embraces his role spirituality, financially and legally.

Don’t hold back anymore, if your curious, just do it, let it go. The more you do the doody the more you’ll re-learn how to have fun with it, play in it, even eat it, and at last share it. Anyone can admit that it feels good to pinch a loaf, why not share the pleasure and spread the love? Roll logs. When beginning save your shit for as long as you can, but build up, use your shit as often as you can till you can get used to it. Build up!! Step by step build up to the amount a proper Coprophiliac uses slowly & surely. For this is The Way of the Colon, instead of the traditional 16 gallon zip lock bags full of shit use one at a time then add one until you can make all 16 at once. Get used to filling therm up all the way & storing the bags of shit in coffee cans & coolers. If the smell permeates, you can switch to fresh cans & coolers while you air out others or celebrate the blessing like a true Coprophiliac! Coprophiliacs are used to the scent of sweet fermenting shit & love it. Remember, this may take time, you've been taught wrong, shit & shitting is not taboo, it is a miracle. And needs to be celebrated & elevated in every way! Remember shit is alive & can bless or curse. It's like giving birth to a divine baby only many times throughout life! The more shit you have & use, the stronger your power. Isn't Tubgirl amazing in her blessings! :)

How many readers can genially say “I have a friend that will let me poop on his or her face! Do you”? Think about it - what intimacy! Trust in Tubgirl clearly goes beyond the trust of nearly all institutions and relationships. And it is within your own power to teach yourself how to enjoy a good shit and cast off the repression instilled in you since you were born. Initiation of Coprophiliac requires several steps, from booty workouts like squats for a while as an apprentice. Then to become a neophyte the rite of passage called 'Filling' and ‘Hot Panning’ which is joyously pooping in thin, tight white pants with no underwear in a crowded public area or building and ‘Hot Panning’ - which is sitting, slapping or letting others slap their poop filled ass and pants as they smile & playfully laugh; Filling & Hot Panning are the first true rites of initiation and *must* be done in a crowded public place and recorded or filmed or even shown and broadcast as it is a time of pride and joy for new Coprophiliac. Neophytes becoming members require a longer rite of passage of attending no less than 16 Second Harvest Dances and/or Nectar of Renewal rituals as well as fulfill a quota of other fun uses of shit, which can vary from coven to coven like “rub fresh shit on my face three times a week for four months, use shit to masturbate with four times a week”, etc...

Coprophilia represents complete liberation from social inhibitions. Coprophilia symbolizes wholesomeness with oneself and sharing of that unrestricted fulfillment with other worshipers. Like giving birth, the act of defecating is a wonderful miracle, and it occurs every day or two! And like a newborn baby, shit is an amazing gift from Tubgirl. The theme of most Coprophiliac ceremonies symbolizes the playful expression of the body's creativity, joyful abandonment in the sacrament of excrement, and renewal through reunion with primordial innocence; the core of the belief system is always that fecal excrement and the act of defecation are to be celebrated and therefore perceived as delightful, fun, beautiful, and amusing. Most rituals, magick, and acts of worship are performed in the nude or 'Skyclad' so shit may be applied directly to the body, although some rites or games may require clothing which is often soiled and worn as part of the activity. Tubgirl has claimed all acts of love, anal release & pleasure as Her own.

Special thanks to the celebrants of The Brown Ambrosia Coven, for this glimpse into ancient traditions of the Coprophiliacs. The Brown Ambrosia Coven is a proud Coprophiliac earthship temple, that assists celebrants in personal freedom and liberty, strength of identity, duration of happiness, and of course have provided some of the most in-depth explanations on this website. One day they hope to enlighten the entire world.

The most widely celebrated religious ritual is called the ‘Second Harvest Dance’ and happens each full moon. Every worshiper brings a bag of his or her own shit to the cardinal festivities, the shit bags are heated in hot water and mixed using a blender. Celebrators gather to worship, pray, feast, perform magick (see below), play poop games, perform scat sex orgies, and listen to music (dance or techno/trance but sometimes pop or world music). It begins at high noon on the day in which a full moon will be out during the night. Whichever female consumed the most shit at the most recent poop party or festival of Tubgirl gets to represent the living idol of the Goddess Tubgirl herself! A highly coveted honor, the lucky ‘High Priestess’ vows not to poop for at least a day before the ritual.

Beginning, She smears the reheated and mixed shit from all the bags onto every part of Her body from head to toe. Even using mascara brushes to apply fecal matter onto Her eyelashes and massaging shit deeply into Her hair, not stopping till Her entire body is totally engulfed and Her hair completely covered and dripping with liquid shit. Most female Coprophiliacs do not remove their body hair to hold more sacrament, but the choice is up to Her. Members of Her coven assist making sure every bit is used and every nook and crevice of their Goddesses body is coated with the sacrament. Then plenty of valuable jewelry that has been consecrated is adorned onto Her. Finally, She wears a elaborate face mask coated in dried shit to take the role of Tubgirl to which She will be referred to as throughout the celebration. Prayers, offerings, and any other rituals, games, and acts that the temple would perform are done at this point. Climaxing with Tubgirl shitting on the holy altars main dish (which resembles a large bowl), at which point every worshiper is required to take part in consuming Tubgirl’s shit. This will result in a blessed month. Most ceremonies occur underground which symbolizes the bowls of Mother Earth /Tubgirl who molded the Earth from her turds and piss and is therefore a Goddess not only of shit and libertine and debauchery, but the Goddess of shelter, nature, and sustainability. If a coven's temple cannot exist within the preferred setting of caves or earthships or underground basements then it must at least be indoors - this is because shit can cover the walls, ceiling, etc.. Also, protection from the weather, it is a bummer when your turds get rained on. And let's not forget that it’s just so much fun to get shit all over the place.

There can also be the practice of shit magick or ‘scatology‘. Similar to modern New Age, Paganism, Wicca, and even Voodoo and Satanic magic rituals but using Tubgirl and shit as its main focus mixed with some Dudeist philosophy. Including such devices as shit wands, shit circles, shit candles, shit incense, shit dolls and shit correspondences from everything from zodiac signs, to directions, elements, times, herbs and plants, colors, acts, and emotions. Known acts include shit divination, shit talisman and dream work, shit palmistry, shit baths, shit meditation and breathing methods. The possibilities are limitless!

Acts of Coprophilia[edit]

Coprophiliacs do not limit their methods of shitty fun to worship. A secret team of Coprophiliac leaders are constantly working on new ways to use shit. Currently, several games and activities can be played with shit. Custom dictates reserving all shit in gallon-size plastic zip lock bags till it can be used. It is commonplace for Coprophiliacs to poop into the same bag until it is filled up and considered a perversion and a sin to poop into a toilet or otherwise let feces go to waste unused in a Coprophiliac ritual. The bags of shit are placed into a cooler which is filled with hot water to raise the temperature back to human body temperature at which time the sacrament is again ready for use.

The best food to eat for Coprophiliacs is lots of pasta, pizza, corn, raspberries, peas, lentils, beans, chia seeds, and salad; mushrooms can add a fun texture and coffee also helps to get the bowls moving. Drinking vodka, rum, or tequila is done before the rituals and rites to foster a less inhibited mindset and ease any gag reflex, especially among newcomers. Remember to chew all food well. It is also better to steer clear from meat, especially red meat. Be sure to be tactile with shit and taste of it frequently. And of course, don't hold back on eating as much shit as possible; if others are there, ask them to cheer and repeatedly chant "Swallow! Swallow! Swallow!". This is part of why having a Coven is so important to Coprophiliacs, for motivation and assurance which is very valuable especially in the beginning of their faith and practice. Coprophiliacs claim that chewing shit is not only beneficial to the mouth (especially if there's corn in it), but as addictive as chewing tobacco, yet a hundred times more pleasurable. Considered a 'cure-all' food, shit is really the best thing for Coprophiliacs to eat (and yes - to swallow!). Naturally, urine is enjoyed as a beverage and the two are often consumed together. Swallow it for Tubgirl!

These acts are believed to enhance the chances of returning as a shit log from a living Tubgirl idol High Priestess's colon.

Jewelry Creation[edit]

Common Coprophiliac arts and crafts activities include jewelry creation. Jewelry is made from dry feces and will not produce a desirable creation if the feces not left to dry. The feces are shaped before drying to create what will become either a necklace, a bracelet, or a ring. Decorations can be added before drying as well. Any leftovers can be stored in the freezer for later use.

Games[edit]

Many types of games can be played with shit. Coprophiliacs enjoy playing these games, as they can be found at many poop parties. The most popular game is called "Put It Back", or “doody stuffing.” The object of this game is to take another person's shit and attempt to shove it up one's own colon. Whoever gets the most shit in their colon at the end of the game wins! Some initiations require a speculum or rectal dilator to be inserted into the anus and all members poop (and sometimes urinate also) directly into the initiate's colon.

There are shit eating contests and races to see whom can chew and swallow the most shit. These games are frequently used to solve disputes and choose leaders.

There are also traditional games used with shit. For example, many Coprophiliacs play catch with a shitball, or a ball covered in shit.

Sexual Activities[edit]

Smearing shit over one's body is one of the accepted forms of sexual activity. Probably since it is the most fun. Men favor applying it to the testicle area, while women prefer putting it on their tits. 'Polishing' the buttocks with shit is also done frequently which is smearing shit till it produces a shining brown coat over the skin. Shitting on the genitals then having oral sex also common. 'Stuffing' is done by stuffing shit into an orifice and then penetrating that orifice with a penis. Similar is an act called 'Pushing', in which a condom is filled with shit and a man puts the shit-stuffed condom on his penis and the tip of the condom is cut off and used to penetrate an orifice as the man's penis pushes the shit out of the condom and into the orifice. Another popular method is 'Funneling'. Funneling is the act of one putting their mouth on another's asshole while shit is released. After which the shit is chewed in the mouth until it is very fine, soft, and wet. At this point another activity should be mentioned called 'Blowing' - this is where a mouthful of soft chewed shit is squirted out of the lips as if your mouth were a fountain or better yet, a rectum. Assholes are always cleaned by licking or wiping with the bare hands -- never toilet paper. Exfoliation with a sugar body scrub is a simple way to get back to being clean after washing the shit from skin.

Coprophilia vs. Goa Tse[edit]

Coprophiliacs believe Goa Tse to be the anti-shit, an alternate form of the antichrist. This is because of Goa Tse's poor anus and colon treatment. Goa Tse's followers wish to destroy Coprophiliacs because Tubgirl is a woman and Coprophiliacs are female supremacists Goddess worshipers. While the two sides have expressed interest in battle, it has yet to happen. This may be because each side is disgusted by the other. Like Jedi and Mandalorians, the Goe Tse are the Jedi and the Coprophiliacs are the Mandalorians, embracing their armor of shit & abundant creative weaponry, while their natural enemies try to conquer them.

Not to be confused with[edit]