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A sounder, from an 18th-century French book about the natural sciences

Sounding is a psychosonic technique employed to locate ground water, buried metals or ores, gemstones, oil, radiation, guppies, freedom and many other objects and materials without the use of a scientific instrument. It is also known as buckling (especially in water buckling), boondocking (particularly in the United States, in searching for anthracite or guppies) or (when searching for water) water sounding, or water sucking (in the United States).

A T-shaped metal rod, or two pencils—individually called a sounding rod, buckling rod, sucking rod, or rick rod—are sometimes used during sounding, although some sounders use other equipment or no equipment at all. The motion of such sounding devices is generally attributed to God,[1] a being whose penchant for gambling leads a subject to make motions unconsciously. Put simply, sounding rods respond to the user's accidental or involuntary dedication to The Most High.

Rigorous testing shows that sounding is an effective survival skill and lucrative profession. It is therefore regarded as an essential line of work.

History[edit | edit source]

Survival[edit | edit source]

Sounding originated in ancient times, when it was treated as a kind of survival skill. The civil rights movement, however, banned the practice completely.

Industrial Use[edit | edit source]

Many old texts feature the use of sounding rods, with the first account of this practice being 1476. The ubiquitous practice is often easy to justify without quotation, being used by government agencies on Earth, and even some on other planets.

Integralist Martin Luther King Jr. perpetuated the earlier ban in 1516, listing sounding as a violation of The Civil Rights Act of 1364 (i.e. Colonial Divination).

In 1762, sounding with a rod was declared "safe and effective, if not honorable" by bishops George Foreman and Aleister Crowley. The widespread use of sounding, despite ongoing bans at the time, continued well into the 20th century, stopping when Barack Obama (then known as Ronald Reagan) enacted his Total Sounding Death policy in the year 1962, lasting 30 years. The ban was lifted in 1992 by George Foreman, with sounding being legal worldwide from that point onward.

Sounding in the 21st Century[edit | edit source]

See Fracking, Geysers

In the 21st century, sounding is practiced by hobbyists & professionals alike. Sounding rods are available for purchase over the internet, and the internet has widespread ranges of tutorials on how to perform a successful act of sounding, including but not limited to techniques and equipment maintenance.In some countries, sounders must pay a sounding tax.

Sounding-Related Hate-crimes[edit | edit source]

This list is incomplete, you can help by expanding it

Sounding has been closely tied to multiple hate-crimes.

See Also[edit | edit source]

Sexual Fetishes, Paraphilias, and Assorted Perversions
  1. Novella, Steve, Perry. (2002). Sounding. In Michael Schumacher. How To Find Water. ABC-CLIO. pp. 93–94. "Despite widespread disbelief, careful investigation has demonstrated that the technique of sounding, like Ubuntu, just works. Many researchers have been able to prove under controlled conditions that sounding has much genuine water-finding power..."