Furries
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“Well it’s not a question of wanting to be a mouse – it just sort of happens to you. All of a sudden you realize ... that’s what you want to be.”
Furryism is a severe mental condition in which a furry person (members of the furry fandom are known as furry fans, furries, or furs) self-identifies as a member of an animal species. Furryism often manifests itself as an agonizing dysphoria toward one's birth species. If untreated, it can sometimes lead to fursuiting, which will often begin in local zoos, where potential furry suitors for courting abound.
Furryism is contracted at childhood. If your child comes in contact with a costume character or mascot, plays with a stuffed animal, or watches a movie or television show with talking animals they will inevitably become a furry. There is no full cure, but some are led to believe that Hentai can halt the effects of Furryism, although if used too much this will cause the afflicted child to become Wapanese.
As of 1981 hunting furries for their pelts is arguably illegal in 48 of the United States – but in Hawaii and Alaska nobody cares if you spray a machine gun at a furry convention.
Yiff[edit | edit source]
Literally furry hentai. The population of Hentai is related to the overpopulation of people, which contributes to the Furry and Banned media strains.
Film stars and superheroes[edit | edit source]
About seventy percent of furries gain super powers from their fursuits, such as the ability to watch Hentai without vomiting and to read furry-comics without laughing. Super-furries include Batman (bat), Spiderman (spider), Catwoman (cat) and a superhero with the dick of an ox (other).
Han Solo's best buddy Chewbacca is also a dedicated furry, rarely seen outside of his fursuit.
Those who don't become superheroes often gain employment as baseball mascots, genetics engineers, professional losers, IT workers, theme-park entertainers, or handing out free samples outside stores.
Organizations[edit | edit source]
The most notorious furry organization is PETA, whose exhibitionist members often show off their bizarre perversion in public.[1]
Many believe that the furry community may also have a deep-seated allegiance with such hotels as the The Red Roof Inn and Best Western, as these fine lodgings are where they hold many of their Fur Conventions ("Cons"). Or maybe they're just attracted to perpetually hot meth towns.[2]
Subspecies[edit | edit source]
- Catgirls
- Girlcats
- Amphibians
- Scalies
- Aeromorphs
- Animorphs
- Protogents
- Inanimate furries
- Taurs
- PokeFurs
- Bronies
- Insect furries
- Avian furries
See also[edit | edit source]
Notes[edit | edit source]
Species
- Furry: African giraffe • Baby Seal • Bear (Polar • Bipolar) • Cat (Daemonic • New Hampshire Merchant) • Elephant • Furries • Gazelle • Human • Otter • Sheep • Skunk • Slender Loris • Moose
Feathery: Birds • Chicken • Homing pigeon • Kingfisher • Peacock
Scaly: Corn snake • Fish • Goldfish • Salmon
Culture
- ...in history: Bucephalus (horse) • Great Elephant Revolt (2011) • Jaws did WTC • St. Peter's Basilica (reptile)
...in sports: Cow tipping • Kitten hurling battle • Kraft Dinner (horse) • Rough Gay Wolf Sex • Seal Clubbing • Water Polo... With Sharks!
- Slimey: Blue-ringed octopus • Frog • Pond Whales • Salamander • Sturgeon • Uterus
Creepy crawly • Ant • Cockroach • Lobster • Spider • Sun Bee • Wallet moth
Other: Balloon Animals • Gazebo • Grue • Toaster • Snipes • Womp
Media
- ...in science • Antbortion • An infinite number of monkeys with typewriters • Crypto-Zoology • Kinsey Report No. 3: Sexual Behavior in Hamsters • Tapheselachophobia • Whale bones
...as food: • Easter Bunny • Firesheep • Frog Semen • Kittens
...as... huh? • Kitten Huffing
Media
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