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“I wonder if a grue is scarier than a basilica.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Basilica


~ The one and only Grue on The Previous statement

“Umm...Ok That's scarier. Much scarier”

~ Oscar Wilde on The Grue
Scientific classification
Kingdom Animalia
Phylum Chordata
Class Sauropsida
Order backwards
Family They Eat them
Genus Unstandard DNA
Species Godzilla (Basilica halitosisia), Bowser (Plumberibus archnemisus), Kraid (Basilica spacia), and so on
Binomial name
Primary armament 40
Secondary armament 45
Power supply Nuclear
Health 15000+
Mana 30000+
Strength 20
Intelligence 16
Weight min. 50 tons
Length ~150m
Special attack Eye beams
Conservation status
Extinct in wild(e)

Basilica are a group of almost extinct reptile species, best known from St. Peter's Basilica or Godzilla (Basilica halitosisia). Although they are powerful, Basilicas are still 150 years too young to even examine a Grue, but they are still scary. First described basilica was the St. Peters by <gasp> St. Peter.

How to identify[edit]

Basilicas have the following abillities, which makes them different from grues and yeti:

  • Breath attacks(like poison, AIDS, fire, bad breath, exploding cheese etc. and any combination of these)
  • Laser Eyes
  • Instant brainbreaking attacks
  • Chain lighting
  • AAAAAAAAAttack (makes you AAAAAAAAA! for eternity).
  • Big 'n scary (not as Mr. T, but alike)


Short of
Like most reptiles and grues, basilicas are born from eggs. Then, they are Level 1 noobs. They have about 1 month to evolve to Level 10 and create a breath attack or nobody will care about them.
After 2 months of levelling, farming and killing frogs, basilici are big enough to eat Arnold Schwarzenegger, or even <insert name here>. An other month of powerlevelling make a basilica strong enough to being hired to some dirty job (like they did in Harry Potter). Basilica can be localised, as in Hogwarts, but because nobody cared about the one there, it became angry, and almost huffed Ginny.

Weapons that are effective against Basilici[edit]



For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Basilica.
  • Killed a basilica? Nothing to do with the remains? Satan will buy from you! Call 666 now!
  • Basilica made from stone are immune to the Galaxy Angel
  • Basilica are summonable, but never try to summon one in Russia before 1989. You know why.
  • Basilica exists in The Matrix, living careless, and in eternal youth, but they are Bat Fuck Insane
  • Basilica, that specialised in using fire, are burning your dog

See also[edit]