Blexicans
“Blexico: The land of Blexicans.”
“Blexico: Every white man's dream”
Blexico La Republica de black man Blexico | |
|---|---|
| Motto: "For one race, all" | |
| Anthem: "Blexico, envy of white nations" | |
| Capital & Largest City | Blexico City |
| Official language(s) | Swahili |
| Government | Aristocratic oligarchy |
| Market leader | Barak Skywalker |
| Declaration of Independence | May 5th, 1821 from Israel |
| Currency | cotton |
| Religion | Black Liberation Theology |
| Major exports | cotton |
| Major imports | Mexicans |
Origins[edit | edit source]
The famed Blexican story is a mysterious legend. The actual true story has eluded society's top scientist like Bill Nye and Dr. Dre for years. The most popular theory states that the humble Blexican emerged in around 5000 BC, a result of the invention of the first country border. It is believed that the a select group of chicanos was once seduced by negroes, thus creating the a race of illegitimate chicano-negroes now known as Blexicans. However, one story that has gained popularity in recent years is the theory of selective breeding. The theory states that a long long time ago, 20 Mexicans, 80 Africans, and 1 white person were taken to some mysterious place out of this world and all married Mormon style to each to each other. Then, after 50 years of careful breeding, all were killed but one in a match to the death, resulting in a genetically 20% Mexican (somewhat fast), 80% Black (a pretty good jumper), and 1% white (normal skin color and mild intelligence) man with initials EB.
National Country[edit | edit source]
Most Blexicans today live in the Democratic Republic of Blexico, a country somewhere inbetween Mexico and Israel. The national flag is white, to symbolize their superior color traits, with small black and brown crisscross stripes representing their athletic ability. The national bird is the Caca bird, a nearly extinct bird only found in Blexico. The national sport is a cross between soccer, basketball, and ultimate frisbee, called Blomgrenballee for its true blooded Mexican creator.
Blexico in War[edit | edit source]
Currently, Blexico is allied with the State of Israel. Most of the IDF forces actually are Blexicans; thanks to Blexico's efforts in 1725, both Israel and the United States are in possession of nuclear technology. Much of Israel's military success can be attributed to the fierceness and tenacity of EB's progeny.
Race and Diversity: "Equal Opportunity for All"[edit | edit source]
The 100% Blexicans[edit | edit source]
Approximately 345/901ths of Blexican permanent residents are true Blexicans. You can tell a true Blexican by it's white skin. These people have 99.91% of the money ($5) in Blexico. They control the government, harshly oppress all other races, and take the money for themselves: In a sense, they are the aristocratic class, as they own about 99.91/100ths of the nation's $5 economy. Blexicans frequently study the Third Reich in order to educate themselves about the world, but mostly just about their allies, the Israelis. In fact, they are considered part of one of the most educationally advanced civilizations in the world.
The mexicans[edit | edit source]
About 1/4 of Blexico's population consists of Mexicans seeking political asylum in Blexico. They come running from drug cartels and are put to work in factories, much like the Chinese.
The African-Blexicans[edit | edit source]
About half of Blexico is populated by African-Blexicans. They are mostly agricultural farmers, content to pick cotton for free. They work hard and willingly for meals every few days. They are the core of Blexico's thriving economy, bringing in about 3$ annually.
Famous Blexicans[edit | edit source]
Most Blexicans are incognito as either Black people, Mexicans, or the occasional white person. Some famous Blexicans are:
- Antonio Banderas
- Barak Obama
- Kanye West
- Luke Skywalker
- Anikan Skywalker
- Jacob Skywalker
- Billy bob Skywalker
- Mishel Daletski
- Barak Skywalker
- Felix Skywalker
- George Lucas Skywalker
- Adolf Skywalker
- Martin Luther King Jr
- W.E. Dubois
- B.T. Washington
- S. 'Coach' Hall
Characteristics of a Real Blexican[edit | edit source]
So you might be wondering, what makes a Blexican real anyway? They are 20% mexican, 80% Black, and 1% white, but sometimes 98% asian, 1% black, and 1% mexican. They know how to run, swim, and generally just avoid authority. Also, they have nearly mad hops. They're not pure black, but they're close, which means that they can jump about 10 feet for every one foot of leg-length. Finally, a true Blexican is almost the epitome of a whitey: white skin, white remarks, even white facial and emotional expressions, like jumping and screaming randomly and faking happiness.
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