Republic
- You may be looking for Republican Party and not even know it!
“Whoever wins, we lose.”
A Republic is a political ideal in which freedom is emphasized above all else, meaning there are no Republicans present. What constitutes a true Republic has been the subject of debate since the time of Playdo. Some early concepts of a true Republic:
- Only the unjust should be fed to the lions
- Let no man be stoned, lest ye share first
- Only men in togas are fit to lead a nation
- Only gay men wearing subligara are fit to lead a nation
- No man is fit to lead a nation
- No man is an island, but Ireland sounds like island, and it has a Republic.
- A nation is fit to lead a man, but nothing more
- Forwards, not backwards. Upwards, not forwards. And twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.
- Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others
- Either you are with us, or you are gay.
- It should be noted that lesbians are technically gay, however are women, therefore eliminating any possibility of leadership on their behalf
- Might makes right, as long as it's for freedom.
- We know what we're doing.
- FREEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- If you don't worship our country, you're a Nazi Communist Terrorist Satan worshipper.
- If you don't worship Bush, you're a Communist Socialist Terrorist Satan worshipper (this goes for non-Americans as well).
The distinctive feature of a republic is that it does not have a king/queen or czar/czarina or emperor/empress or pope/popess or prince/princess or shah/shahzade or sultan/sultana or rajah/rani or khan/khaness as its ruler like a monarchy nor is it run by a committee of shop stewards like an anarchy. The usual titles of the head of a Republic are e.g. President, Consul, Lord-Protector, Generalissimus, General Secretary, Caudillo, General, General-Marshal, Doge and Führer.
Republic is today the most popular form of statehood. Famous and reputed republicans are e.g. Plato, Niccolò Machiavelli, Oliver Cromwell, Maximilien Robespierre, Vladimir Lenin, Irish Republican Army, Adolf Hitler and U.S. Republican Party.
The Modern Republic[edit | edit source]
The classical idea of the Republic has since been superceded by the Re-public. This form of government works much like a classical game of fourth grade football, in which one side tries to dominate another by use of trash talk, insults, slander, and name calling. Third parties are not allowed to compete, as they are too wimpy and don't try very hard in the first place. Spectators cheer on both sides by shouting and yelling the loudest, though neither side is affected as votes are set by whomever has the most money from lobby groups, name brand sponsorships, and autobiographical book sales.
The two same teams always compete, meaning one of them has to win to the detriment of the entire country, so most voters concede that there is no real winner.
A republic is often equalled in contents with a democracy, but this is false. In the 20th century, a usual republic was a dictatorship of various varieties, while a country calling itself a monarchy a democracy. A country becomes a republic usually through a revolution from a monarchy. The republic itself provides a basis to transform into a dictatorship, oligarchy, communism, fascism, theocracy, plutocracy, tyranny and civil war.
Republic as Compared to Anarchy[edit | edit source]
To have a true comparison you should make ur own comparison
Republic
- The ability to elect leaders who make decisions they think are best for you
- Getting lied to by politicians
- Getting conflicting ideas from different people
- Getting raised minimum wage
Anarchy
- the ability to make lives more miserable
- Shoving a large pointy sword up the politician who lied's ass
- Ramming your ur own ideas down ur enemies throats (with the sword u just used on the politician)
- The right to spell anything however you want.
Types of a Republic[edit | edit source]
- Democracy: Majority dictatorship
- Parliamentarianism: Representative dictatorship
- Oligarchy: Minority dictatorship
- Aristocracy: Dictatorship of the nobility
- Plutocracy: Dictatorship of the bourgeoisie
- Eidgenossenschaft: Dictatorship of the white collar criminals
- Democratic republic: Single party dictatorship
- People's republic: Communist dictatorship
- Democratic people's republic: A dictatorship of Dachau magnitude
- Führerstaat: Nazi dictatorship
- Ordenstaat: monastic dictatorship
- Islamic republic: theocracy
- Commonwealth: theocratic military dictatorship
- Most Serene Republic: plutarchy (Venice)
- Eastern Republic: on the Western hemisphere (Uruguay)
- Bolivarian Republic: a kilometre-long line of soap (Venezuela)
- Cooperative republic: I mean, what's wrong with you? (Suriname)
- Senate and People (S.P.Q.): military dictatorship
- Senate and People of Rome (S.P.Q.R:): empire
- Confederacy: racistic dictatorship
- Jamahiriya: satirical dictatorship
- Cumhüriet: nationalist dictatorship
- Juche republic: hereditary dynastic dictatorship
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