Venice
City of Venice
 Venetian Coat of Arms |
| Motto | "Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm!" |
|---|---|
| Established | 568 A.D. |
| Government Type | Statue Garden |
| Doge in Charge | Marino Faliero |
| Location | Northeastern Top of the Boot |
| Population | 250,000 |
| Size | Mens US 9 or UK 8 1/2 |
| Patron Saint | Latios and Latias |
| Best Painter | Titian |
| Best Architects | Mario & Luigi |
Buon giorno. Welcome to 
. I am your 
Giuseppe. If you will kindly follow me, I will show you all the best places to 
. Please don’t wander away from the tour or I will have to 
. Under your seat you will find a 
, put it on if you plan to do any serious 
.
Remember to keep your 
and 
inside the 
at ALL TIMES. Our first stop will be an important cultural center, our friendly neighborhood 
store. I like to get good and 
up before I start the tour. 
is divided into 
districts. The first is called 
row or Cannaregio. It is home to many 
who keep busy working over tourists around the Grand 
. On your 
you will notice the Jewish Ghetto leads us to the small district of San 
. Venice is not a slum shithole. Please do not slum down this enviable place by bringing in banknotes less worth than shitty €50. We honestly dont like these €50 notes either.
We also have lives and don't waste time doing that with the pictures.
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