Ramayana

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Rama with his "Dhanushya"
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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Ramayana.

Its main character, Rama, is considered the avatar of lord vishnu, the protector of universe and he is also supposedly one among the million Hindu vedic deities, thus actually being one in a million.

Beginnings[edit | edit source]

So, Rama had, a kingdom named Ayodhya and people liked him because he did good things. But, his 3rd Mom was influenced by her maid, and she persuade her husband to send Rama , to the forest. Since he was going for, 14 years he decided to go with his brother, Laxshmana and his wife, Sita to accompany him.

The Forest[edit | edit source]

Now Dude, the forest was really scary shit... really man...they had monkeys and devils and shit like that all over the place. But this dude, Rama, kicked with darts and bows and arrows and poked them in places you can't imagine... so it was fine.

But then some bad and gangsta boys, with some jerk called Ravan, pick up his babe (Sita) and take her away to his hood (actually a nice sprawling condo in Lanka). And boy was our man (and also his bro, Laxman) pissed like bloody hell..... all the big gods were with him.

The WAR[edit | edit source]

So, Rama and his bro get an army of monkeys. Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys to kick ass or hold bows and darts... just go along with me, OK? So, like, Rama, Laxman, and the monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood on his own land.

So all's well that end's well? Nope. Our hero, Rama, wants to ensure that his girl's clean after her long stay with the citizens of Lanka. So he makes her go through a fire so that she's nice and disinfected... Dude don't ask me how she survived or why the fire didn't burn her... I'm merely telling you what happened, the way people have been doing it for years. OK, coming back to the story, with his girl nice and disinfected the Rama guy, along with his savage hordes of baboons, decides to call it a day and comes back home.

Return Home[edit | edit source]

Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest...and anyways...it gets kinda boring, you know...no TV or malls or whores and sh*t like that available in the jungle. So, they decided to hitch a ride back home...and when the people realize that our dude, his bro, and the wife are back home...they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and sh*t...and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also... so it was a pretty coooooooooool thing...you know with all those fireworks and nothing