Rajput

“Apni beti ko bech aur usko bech ke ameer ho ”

~ Mughal Badshah to his subjugated Rajputs

A picture of a Rajput Chief from early 1800s

Rajput or Rajpoot or Reyputa are an ethnic group hailing from South Asia. Rajputs are mainly concentrated in Rajasthan (formerly called Rajputana, Reyputana for you spanish bastards), Madhya Pradesh, and Uttar Pradesh. They believe they are the descendants of great many warriors and kings. If you didn't realise it yet, the OG Big Brain move, since anyone can be a warrior or king, they can casually choose who gets to be their forefathers, and makes it super easy to claim elite status in a society that wouldn't give two shits about them. "Jiska Raj usike Poot" as they say. Still the list of their Forefathers goes like, Aryans from Central Asia, Aryans from Europe, Greeks, Scythians, Huns, Mughals, Arabs, Turks, Mongols, Brahmins, Chamars, Chhipis, Telis, Dhobis, Darzis, Sainis, Lohars, Mistris, Kayasthas, Julahas, British.

They love dressing up and roleplaying, that's why they can be seen wearing fancy turbans, toy swords, fake moustache and no beards, which they learned by pleasing the various mughal rulers. Rajputs tell us of their gallant service in Mughal Harems as young boys, catering to all kinds of ages, and fantasies of their ~~masters~~.

Orgins

Bhats (native genealogists) report conflicting theories of Rajput orgin. First theory is that when Lord Parshurama vanquished every last kshatriya, people on earth begged him for mercy. So Parshurama slipped his seed in Rajput women and thus first Rajput was born. Some Bhats say that a Rajput is born of a Mleccha Father and Shudra Mother.

Culture, Values, Traditions

If you want to know if someone in the olden days was from your community, it is almost impossible to say for sure. But not if you're a Rajput! Even the Universe bends in front of Rajput amazingness. All you have to do is find out whether that person sold his daughter to an invader/enemy in exchange for money, status and political authority, and if he did, Bazinga! He was a bonafide Pure Rajput! If she was pre-pubescent, then even better! Such is the character of a Pure Rajput he can bend his enemy by marrying his daughter. Although some rajputs have been swapping their wives with early muslim invaders like Khilji, Ghaznavi, etc. Too bad the invaders didn't swap their wivesm, so it remained a one way deal.

There's a peculiar practice of "Sar-Dhakai" among Rajputs of MP. So apparently, if a family has a girl child she will definitely be forced into exploitation for money by being sold to a wealthy merchant or landlord, while if they have a boy child he learns to play musical instruments as to present his sister to the aforementioned party.

Achievements

People of India are not aware of Rajput contributions to the society, because of the conspiracy against Rajputs by Indian Education System, Media, Government and Illuminati. Did you know, Jahangir was 3/4ths Rajput by ancestry and Shah Jahan was about half Rajput, and Aurangzeb was also half Rajput. If we look at their paintings we find that the Mughals dont have Mongoloid features anymore so they had become Rajputs. In the light of this evidence, we make a claim here; that Mughal Empire should be Renamed to Grand Rajput Empire which began with the reign of Rajput Akbar. The Rajput king Jahangir was the first Indian ruler to allow British to control trading ports of India. Rajput King Shah Jahan built the great Shiva temple Tejo Mahalaya which was renamed by british to Taj Mahal.

Other than this, Rajputs have achieved

Rajput Pride

Rajputs are notorious for their excessive pride, of course, being one grants you exclusive superiority rights which no one can ever claim. Heck, they even have flags to represent their pride. Each flag tells a different story and each represents a state of various LGBTQ+ subgroups. Dungarpur is for Gayhlot Nazis, Kawardha is for Trans Sisodia Feminists, Mohanpur is for Demisexual Rathore Females, Vijayanagar is for Bisexual Chauhans, Jaipur is for Genderqueer Chandela buttplugs, and Udaipur is for Intellectual Jadon Sapiosexuals. The Pan Rajput Pride Flag represents Rajput Heritage, traditions of daughter selling, values of money seeking and folding over at first invader.

World's First Ever Openly Gay Prince

Dungarpur Flag

Kawardha Flag

Mohanpur Flag

Vijaynagar Flag

Jaipur Flag

Rajput Pride Flag

Udaipur Flag

Life as a Rajput Woman

If you were born as a female Rajput, you'd feel cheated? No, its not that your husband was born without balls, but it may be because you were married to him at an early age. Or maybe you love getting married at that age, no one judges you. As a Rajputni you get to experience a few Sanskaars in your life. This includes ground glass ghutti (Fed after you were born), Child marriage and spending first night with your husband's muslim BF(f), being called a sl*t, wh*re for the while you live at your new household and then you get to decide if you want to pull your plug by burning yourself in the name of Sati or Jauhar. Exciting isn't it? You even get two endings for your playthrough!

Rajput Rivalries

There are some groups that can irritate a rajput like their hereditary hemorrhoids. The Rajput tries projecting a fake superiority in front of them but its so painfully obvious the whole act falls down like a house of cards and you're left with a weak, vulnerable rajput ready with his daughter's hand chasing you.

These groups include but not limited to:

Indian Muslims

Gurjars

Marathas

Ahirs/Yadavs

Chamars

Jatts

Chhipis

Telis

Dhobis

Darzis

Sainis

Lohars

Kayasthas

Julahas

Bhils

Gurkhas

Brahmins

Khatris (Actual Kshatriyas)

Another Rajput (Could be a Lohar/Mirasi larping as a rajput or not. You can never tell the difference)

Stray Dogs